Assumptions

Haggis McBagpipe
#31
Quote: Originally Posted by American Voice

Is it wrong to force others to make assumptions? I think it is discourteous, and manifests a lack of respect. Relationships are founded on honesty and respect. It's hard enough when we are face-to-face. Deprived of the normal physical cues, it becomes irrational. The technology has outstripped our capacity for adaptation.

Is it wrong that you 'force' me to make assumptions about your appearance? No.

I don't feel even the slightest inclination or interest in the gender/sexual preference/appearance/whatever of anybody on this or other forums. I like meeting the minds, the other is completely irrelevant.
 
researchok
#32
succinctly put.
 
American Voice
#33
I don't know, I am endlessly curious about those things. It's just instinct. I'm an extravert. I'm a social person. This is an exotic environment for me. I find the personalities I encounter here engaging, some of them, but it's like groping in darkness when one attempts to relate to it as a social phenomenon. Brave new world, that's as much as I can say.
 
peapod
#34
posting deleted
 
American Voice
#35
Brava, Peapod. In other words, sometimes it can get really complicated.
 
peapod
#36
[quote="Haggis McBagpipe"]
Quote: Originally Posted by American Voice

To "flood" a thread is an imposition on the group, like two people monopolizing the dining room at a dinner party. Take the conversation out onto the porch. That's what PM means to me. If it's comfortable, chat is like a date--private conversation across a booth table, that's all. No one learns social skills on the internet, but can mature social skills be pressed through the wire? That's the issue here.

You have made good points here, AV. The only thing I'd wonder about is this, a forum is, for many, a rather time-consuming habit. To quickly post on the forum is one thing, but to get caught up with private messaging to even a few members could push one's forum usage right out of sight.

I think the occasional bantering back and forth is fun and not particularly unpleasant for 'bystanders', as it were, and in keeping with your analogy of the dinner party, often the most enjoyable parties do involve a short session of two people running a bit of an amusing tete a tete.

So, I think you're partially right, but I also think things are going swimmingly on this forum, don't you? I wouldn't want to see restrictions on such momentary diversions to which you refer. At the risk of sounding a bit maudlin, I seriously do feel enriched for the pleasure of getting to know you all.

I agree haggis and well said.
 
American Voice
#37
A very large part of getting to know people is being sensitive to what people are comfortable with, and that varies from person to person.

As for the monthly usage, yes, that's a good point. Before I got involved here, my normal monthly usage was 80 to 90 hours. My price plan gave me an allotment of 150 hours, for $16.95 USD a month. When I saw how my usage was increasing, I ordered a change in plans. Beginning on July 12, I will have unlimited hours for $21.95 a month. The problem is it's July 2, and I have about 27 hours left now. The penalty for exceeding the allotment is $.99 per hour, any fraction of an hour being billed as an entire hour. I may be an American, but I'm not a rich one.

As for the social nature of the forums, I agree, that is, indeed, the charm. There are those times, though, when private dialogues interrupt a thread, and isn't that what the PM is for, i.e., to avoid the accumulation of posts that are extraneous to any thread?

But again, there's the comfort level, or comfort zone thing. Personally, I wouldn't post anything on a PM that I wouldn't post on a forum thread. To me it's just considerate to take an aside with someone, when it's called for.

The forum games are a good example. Answer the Question? Do you pause before posing a question, and ask yourself is it a question you yourself would feel comfortable with answering? The political forums at times are little more than shouting matches. The chit/chat are, as a rule, civil and reasonable. But I think the heart and soul are the games. People are honest, and treat one another with respect. There is clearly a lot of trust. Without trust, without that certain precious naivete, the games would falter and die. Let's see, we got honesty, respect, trust--hey, isn't that called love? In the very best sense of the word, is this a Christian forum?
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#38
>>Personally, I wouldn't post anything on a PM that I wouldn't post on a forum thread.

Just as I would never post publicly what someone has told me privately. It is an invasion of privacy and always inappropriate. The term 'private message' is called 'private' for a reason.

>>Without trust, without that certain precious naivete, the games would falter and die.

Why? The games are in fun, pure and simple. Do you feel there is a trust 'issue', then? In what way?

>>hey, isn't that called love? In the very best sense of the word, is this a Christian forum?

I most profoundly hope this is not a Christian forum. If so, I would not consider staying.
 
Diamond Sun
#39
I think why chat rooms and forums have become so popular is because of the essence of anonymity. People can really let themselves just be who they are because if someone so chooses to judge you then you just move on to another forum, or another chat buddy.

The internet is a vast place full of many amazing types of people. I can say things in these forums that I can't say to people I know. I think its fantastic that you can go on here and be talking to someone who might just work in the cubicle next to you, but you'd never know because they share things with strangers that they might never share with you.

So, I think forums are all about taking the thread where it wanders to. They're about opinions and discussion, and yes, they are about assumptions.

Tell me your assumptions about me? Am I educated? Am I happy? What kind of work do you think I do? How tall am I? Am I religious?

All these things make up who I am, but they don't seem necessary to share on a board in order for my thoughts to be valid to you.

Welcome to the internet AV. I love it here!
 
American Voice
#40
DS, you have revealed numerous details about yourself in the course of the games. Self-revelation is what those are all about.

Haggis, I made an allusion to something in a PM. If you hadn't called attention to the fact, no one would have guessed. It was an "inside" remark. I will have to remember your sensitivity about that. If I gave offense, I do apologize. It was not intentional.

"Tell me your assumptions about me? Am I educated? Am I happy? What kind of work do you think I do? How tall am I? Am I religious?"

Are you educated? You have at least a bachelor's degree in engineering. Given how you write, I think you do a lot of reading. I'd say Yes.

Are you happy? I like the first line from "Anna Karenina," by Tolstoy. "All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Are you happy? I think there are things you worry about, and some things you wish were different, but I also think you have the capacity for happiness, and you are as happy as you make up your mind to be. I believe your childhood was a happy one.

What kind of work do you do? Well, you trained as an engineer, but what your occupation is, I don't believe that's ever come up.

How tall are you? Haven't a clue.

Are you religious? I think you were raised in a religion, that is to say, your parents belonged to a congregation, and you were raised in that. I'm thinking in terms of an analogy with my having been raised a Catholic. You maybe think about it from time to time, but you aren't actively involved. It was a formative influence inyour life, but you don't profess it.

How close did I come on any of them?
 
researchok
#41
I do think, DS, Haggis, AV, et al, that the medium is highly overated as form of communication. Effective communication requires more insight and 'intimacy', on the levels we are comfortable, with whom we choose to associate. That of course, remains the choice of those individuals concerned-- on a MUTUAL basis. If one party is uncomfortable with an unbalanced level of 'intimacy', well, that's unproductive, on many levels.

I do think it's (net communication) more of a form of distraction, in my opinion, much like daydreaming-- only more social, collaberative and vivid.

Good Morning, all.

Nice to see you!
 
American Voice
#42
Nicely put, Rok. A distraction, or maybe diversion would be more appropriate. Still, if it wasn't nice people, I wouldn't come back.
 
researchok
#43
Agreed, of course.

People like peole like themselves, a wise man once said.

I like it in here because the group of people in here seem to share similiar traits-- they are friendly, courtious, respectful and most importantly, thoughtful.

That said, until I get the OK from Haggis and DS, I will not take my SMALL suv out of the garage-- unless of course, I get the missile radar option installed.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#44
Quote: Originally Posted by researchok


That said, until I get the OK from Haggis and DS, I will not take my SMALL suv out of the garage-- unless of course, I get the missile radar option installed.

Hmm, do not look over your shoulder. The flash can blind, you know. 8-)

Lots of good stuff here, people.

AV, yes, I am, admittedly, a stickler about private information. When a seemingly benign piece of information is repeated - and yes, it was benign - one then wonders if more sensitive information might also be repeated.

I do tend to share more personal information in private messages, having never realized that others might not have the same views as myself about such messages. No offense taken, truly, as I've said before. What I stated publicly about private messages was meant to be general, not specific.
 
researchok
#45
OK, OK, I get it.

When Im in BC we can meet in a public place.

I'll wear a beret, sport a red carnation and carry a copy of 'A history of Successful Soviet Five Year Plans'

We'll use a code word-- 'hemerroids'

I hope you'll recognize me.

How will I know you?
 
peapod
#46
Quote: Originally Posted by researchok

OK, OK, I get it.

When Im in BC we can meet in a public place.

I'll wear a beret, sport a red carnation and carry a copy of 'A history of Successful Soviet Five Year Plans'

We'll use a code word-- 'hemerroids'

I hope you'll recognize me.

How will I know you?

OMG that is so funny
 
researchok
#47
Please tell me you DONT have hemerroids.....

Id hate to think that word came to mind easily....
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#48
Quote: Originally Posted by researchok

OK, OK, I get it.

When Im in BC we can meet in a public place.

I'll wear a beret, sport a red carnation and carry a copy of 'A history of Successful Soviet Five Year Plans'

We'll use a code word-- 'hemerroids'

I hope you'll recognize me.

How will I know you?

Easy, I'll be the one on the floor laughing my *** off.

PS No, to your question later in this thread. Sheesh. 8-)
 
researchok
#49
Justwanted to make sure you were awake.

Now, how WILL I recognize you? Can you wear a tutu? That might help.

Maybe we should BOTH wear tutus...
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#50
Quote: Originally Posted by researchok

Maybe we should BOTH wear tutus...

We'll both wear tutus. Keep 'em guessing. 8-) Mine will be pink, with matching pink leg-warmers and headband. Polka-dot boxers underneath, although you won't see those.
 
researchok
#51
Pink legwarmers? tutus? Polka dot boxers?

You got a problem with olive or khaki?

What kind of guy wears pink??
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#52
Quote: Originally Posted by researchok

Pink legwarmers? tutus? Polka dot boxers?

You got a problem with olive or khaki?

What kind of guy wears pink??

The kind with the right skin tone?

The kind who feels comfortable with one's femininity?
 
researchok
#53
Man, we BOTH need to get out more.

Im glad our daughters arent here to see this.

Or mom-- ESPECIALLY mom.
 
peapod
#54
Do either one of you happen to have the last name of Skey, I only ask because of the following story at the BBC website


Man cleared of 'fairy' assault


The court heard the party's theme was aliens and fairies
A man dressed as a fairy has been cleared of assaulting a Swansea student at a fancy dress party ahead of a Lord of the Rings fantasy weekend.
Swansea Crown Court found Dale Skey, 28, from Towcester, Northamptonshire, not guilty of indecently assaulting the 22-year-old.

Mr Skey was also cleared of charges of common assault and false improvement.

He had denied used his strength to overpower the woman, who was dressed as an alien, to carry out the assault.

The court had heard both Mr Skey and the woman were members of a group which re-enacts Lords of the Ring style fantasy battles.

They were due to attend a re-enactment weekend near Bridgend and had met up at the fancy dress party beforehand.

Kissed

The prosecution had alleged that Mr Skey had followed the woman, dressed as Magenta, an alien in the Rocky Horror Show, upstairs when she went to make a phone call, carried her into a bedroom and indecently assaulted her.

But Mr Skey, who weighs 20 stone and who described himself as a "larger than life character" and had been dressed in a pink tutu and wings, has told the jury the woman had smiled and consented to his kissing.

At one stage he lifted the student up, intending to carry on kissing her, but he lost his grip and fell backwards.

"I fell to the left because I did not want to squash her," said Mr Skey.

He heard the woman hit her head on "something metallic" and she left the room, and Mr Skey fell asleep.

"It had been a long day," he said.
 
American Voice
#55
I had an epiphany this afternoon. Here, we are all children again. It's like the third grade. We are gendered beings, but we are pre-pubescent again, or non-pubescent. Does that thought resonate with anyone?

DS, I miss your avatar. It reminded me of Annie Snider. Frankly, I regard you as I might a younger sister. I contemplated saying that PM, but I thought I'd be really bold and place it out here in the open. If I deserve to get slapped, give me fair warning so that I can take my glasses off.
 
Diamond Sun
#56
I won't slap you, but I am curious as to why a younger sister? Do you feel that in my posts you've come to know me as well as you would a sibling? I find that interesting...
 
researchok
#57
Its Friday, AV...way too complicated for me!

The way I see it, we're all here to relax, kick back and have a good time.

Nice thing is, in here, we can talk to each other-- we all seem to speak the same language, different interests.

Pink tutus and Beowulf.

Man, I have to get out more....
 
Diamond Sun
#58
Quote:

Man, I have to get out more...

You can't argue with that it's right under your name in your profile!
 
researchok
#59
True.

Next, I'll be the focus of one of those 99 cent hallmark cards...
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#60
Quote: Originally Posted by researchok

True.

Next, I'll be the focus of one of those 99 cent hallmark cards...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Research should get out more
Or post a whole slew
 
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