Women Who Choose To Remain Childless Have Lots of Money, Hardly a Care in the World

Lysol and Tollhouse cookie commercials are losing their ability to pressure women to have children, since it's becoming quite obvious that childless women can enjoy disinfecting their marinara sauced counters and getting blazed with a bucket of cookie dough, too. The results of a new study published in the October issue of The Journal of Marriage and Family suggest (external - login to view) that, while, women who choose to remain childfree in today's groovy world of contraception feel more pressure to reproduce than other women without children, they aren't distressed about their placid lifestyle of going to weekend matinees, drinking at their leisure, and watching premium cable, probably because doing all of those things = wonderful. Study author Julia McQuillan, a University of Nebraska-Lincoln sociologist, explained that, though motherhood in the United States was all knotted up with adult femininity, women have little to absolutely no qualms about choosing not to be mothers (women who didn't have children because of fertility issues were, unsurprisingly, significantly more distressed about being childless). Said McQuillan:
Motherhood is so highly connected with adult femininity in the United States that many women feel that they need to be mothers. Yet we also found that there are women who have low or no distress about not being mothers, even if their friends and family want them to have children.
In order to figure out that childless-by-choice women weren't melting into puddles of unused genetic material in their well-appointed and mercifully clean homes, McQuillan and her colleagues surveyed 1,200 American women without children about their reasons for staying baby-free. Among some of the most common reasons women had for forgoing motherhood were a simple desire not to have kids, financial concerns, education or career demands, or the absence of a suitable partner. It was only when women themselves viewed motherhood as important that pressure from family, friends, or the child-hungry media caused them any distress.
Interestingly, the study found that religious women experienced less pressure from media images to have children, whereas their irreligious (let's just say faithlessly pagan) counterparts were more susceptible to saccharine commercials for tear-free shampoo. Women who chose to remain childfree, however, have the last laugh — they have the most $$$$ of all the women in the study, probably because they're not using it to feed the insidious infant paraphernalia industry.

Women Who Choose To Remain Childless Have Lots of Money, Hardly a Care in the World (external - login to view)

So... children what are they good for?

I support a person's right to choose regarding children/reproduction.

Having Children is hereditary. If your parents didn't have children, then its unlikely you will have children.

My children add meaning and joy to my life. But I wouldn't have understood that before I became a father.

Maybe in your old age, a niece or nephew will periodically come visit you. No children = no grandchildren = no great grand children.

Also the older you get, the harder it becomes (mentally/physically) to become a parent. If you aren't menopausal, your biological clock is ticking... for men, our sperm count peaked around age 20.
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You mean to tell me that women who choose to live life their way are happy? Earth shattering. so children, what are they good for? Why, they're good for the women who choose to have them of course. Essential frankly.
Fertility - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (external - login to view)

Some women choose to have children. For many couples, disagreement in this area is a relationship deal breaker...
L Gilbert
I think men are more stressed to have kids. It's an ancient genetic issue having to do with making sure your bloodline carries on. The animal kingdom relies upon it. Obviously,a lot of women these days are different. Perhaps less predisposed to the "maternal instinct" and more towards hedonism.
We humans are still evolving, after all.
Quote: Originally Posted by earth_as_oneView Post

Having Children is hereditary. If your parents didn't have children, then its unlikely you will have children.



My children add meaning and joy to my life. But I wouldn't have understood that before I became a father.

I posted this mostly because it was funny. I imagine most people will say "have kids if you want, don't have them if you don't want". There really isn't much to debate here. If I said I didn't want kids, I don't think anyone here would actually care and there aren't many people who think nobody should have kids. Though some people might recommend having kids, and for those of us who don't want them, there is an undeniable social pressure to have them.

Not ephemerally in the media, but explicitly from family, friends, co-workers or near strangers. Again, most people will say "do what you want" but they'll still try to convince you to do what they want. You should see the tone in my mother's voice and the expression on her face when I tell her I have no intention of ever having children, or my sister or even my female co-workers. It's condescension masked with disappointment and guilt. People with children almost seem insulted when you say you don't want children. As if your choice is an affront to their own. The only explanation I can think of for this being the case is if they are insecure about the choices they made.

Just like religion, I want to be left alone, but if people are going to make other people having children a self-validating exercise, one needs to at least be able to challenge their arguments. And I know you didn't say children will give my life meaning, so this isn't directed at me, but I've heard it said before with the intention of convincing me to have children, so I'll bring up my usual rebuttal.

Will children give my life meaning? Will they make me happier and is it an experience, as some people say, that being childless I cannot yet comprehend. Well, the last question is almost certainly true. I will never know what it's like. If it is a pure joy that even in the tough times makes it worth it, I have no perspective to actually know that. Of course, not everyone says that. Some people regret having children and say as much. So whether or not I will enjoy it is still up in the air. The only way to find out is to have children, but that is a step that cannot be taken back. If I find out I can't stand it, I'm living in that hell forever. And on top of that I'm bringing another person (the child) into this equation. A person with needs, emotions, his own problems and his own joys, a person who will effect all others around him, and all for my own experiment on the off-chance that my life might be improved through the arrogant humility of parenthood.
L Gilbert
having kids is a huge responsibility, for sure. I am pretty sure that a lot of people haven't a clue about how to handle that amount of it.
I remember listening to a CBC radio show some 10 years back that was discussing happiness. It turns out that people that have children report feeling less happy than their childless peers. Simultaneously, most people will say that having children is the most fulfilling thing in their life.

Just goes to show, fulfillment is not happiness.

As always, live and let live.
L Gilbert
Yep. Each to their own. Life has some sacrifices in it.
No woman or couple should be pressured into having kids. If they only do it because they were pressured into it chances are they wont be very good at raising kids.

The article seems to be common sense. Kids are extremely expensive and challenging to have. Still, I'd like to have one eventually. Not anytime soon though. Provided I'm healthy there's no rush. Men can still reproduce for much longer than women can.

Most women in my age group who I've met have no desire to have children at all. I only know of one who is interested in doing it at some point.
I love my rotten ungrateful children!

Seriously though, the 2 best things in my life are my sons. I could not imagine ever not having them around. Now they are older (19 & 21) we are as much buddies as dad/son.

Now would my life have been different without them, sure. I might have travelled more or played more golf or who knows. That doesn't mean life would be better....just different.
Quote: Originally Posted by earth_as_oneView Post

Fertility - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (external - login to view)

For many couples, disagreement in this area is a relationship deal breaker...

Yep. It is for me.

Quote: Originally Posted by PoliticalNickView Post

Seriously though, the 2 best things in my life are my sons. I could not imagine ever not having them around. Now they are older (19 & 21) we are as much buddies as dad/son.

Its like that with my father now too. He played little to no role in raising me but we were able to reconcile when I grew up. Now we're pretty good friends.
You have to want children. If you don't feel this way, then having children might be a bad idea.

That said, I've observed:

Many examples of people who became parents unwillingly and became great parents. Most of us have a dormant maternal/paternal instinct which kicks in when you realize this little person is completely dependent on you.

A women who wanted children, but had serious post natal depression issues which led to divorce

A few people who wanted children, like they wanted a puppy and then decided being a parent was too much and abandoned their children...

A couple that had a bad relationship and hoped a baby might fix things... it didn't. In fact it made the situation much, much worse.

Its not an easy decision one way or the other. Certainly having children as a result of outside pressure is a bad idea.

Also, if your mother wants a grandchild, technology exists where your contribution would be minimal:
Grandmother gives birth to grandson through surrogate pregnancy | Fox News (external - login to view)
Quote: Originally Posted by earth_as_oneView Post

Having Children is hereditary. If your parents didn't have children, then its unlikely you will have children.

Too funny.
Its pretty obvious that women who don't have children will have much more money, and it doesn't
have to have anything to do with gimmicky toys or games, it is just the feeding, clothing and
educating one's children, it is very expensive.
I had four daughters, and never have accumulated a lot of money, didn't matter to me, I had my
priorities, which was to have children.
Those who don't want children, fine, and much easier now than when I was a young women,
as then, there seemed to be a common attitude that there was something wrong with making that
choice, 'not' to.
Of course that is ridiculous, just do what you want, some probably are sorry about their decision
'both' ways, after some years go by, as there is a bit of a grey area, its not guaranteed that
what one decides early on will be what you wish you did later.
Some people want children, some don't. Some want children and have them, and are happy, some aren't. Some want children and don't have them, and are happy, some don't. Some don't want children, don't have them, and are happy, some aren't. Some don't want children, have them, and are happy, some aren't.

Happiness comes from what you make of your life, not from wishing it was different.

Of course, women who don't have kids (and have a career or partner with career) have more money, they don't spend it on kids. Unless they spend it on other stuff.

I enjoy my life as it is, with the kids that I have, and wouldn't want it any other way. If my life was different, I'd enjoy that, and wouldn't want it any other way.

As I said to a co-worker who seems to be going through a mid life crisis, 'Stop wishing for **** you don't have, start looking at what you do have, and enjoying it. And never, ever, ever, value yourself based on your job'
"feed the insidious infant paraphernalia industry." hahahahahahahahhahh I wish I'd planed my family better, my batch of three growed up and left the farm, I should be trainin up a new firewood crew but there's no fresh kids. I'm going to freeze to death in my OA because I had a illeagle kitchen vasectomy.
Dexter Sinister
Well, if everybody decides not to have children, our species would disappear pretty quickly, so naturally evolution has arranged things so that relatively few people will make that decision. And really it's only our technology that allows people to make that decision, until recently the only way to certainly remain childless was total celibacy, and evolution has arranged things to make that pretty difficult for most of us too.
If people dont want to have children than thats fine i dont care.... I want to have kids soon but i need a different job, one which keeps me in town. When i get a city job the hunt is on. The world could use a few more Johnnys and Jennys like me
With clones coming and people living longer and longer, we'll be having more people on Earth anyway. I found out a university chem student was studying cloning.
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