What do you think came first?


peapod
#31
It seems the colonel really gets around.

A Brief History Of Kremlin Fried Chicken


1897
Comrade V.I Sanders exiled to Germany after leading unsuccessful franchising riots against Czar's Czandwiches, Russia's leading fast food vendor.


1899
Comrad Sanders perfects secret blend of 1917 herbs and spices and posits the universal maxim of munchies: Work shall make you free, and food shall make you full.


1901
Arrested for agitation against the Grosse T Burger chain, Comrad Sanders is sentenced to three years of counter work at a remote Bavarian store.


1902
At great risk to himself, Comrade Sanders smuggles the Bourgeousie's long-held secret method of preparing corn on the cob in buttered water to allies in Minsk.


1904
Comrade Sanders is released from his Bavarian exile. Immediately, he begins to spread the word of the coming food revolution among the white trash and other upstanding members of the Proletariat.


1908
Fearing for his life, Comrade Sanders flees to Austria with his new deputy Leon David Thomasky and Joeray Kroclin. (Kroclin-era histories often downplay Thomasky's role in Kremlin Fried Chicken's development, but he is now generally considered the author of the "Policy of Five Fs: Fast, Friendly, Fun, and Faithful to Communist Ideals, or it's Free.")


1911
Declaring that "my time is nigh, and soon the meal of the Bourgeouisie will be on the plates of the people," Sanders begins concocting a ideologically pure dessert menu.


1915
Agitation for new dishes begins in Petrograd, Kiev, and even Moscow. Czar's Czandwiches replies with the bread sandwich.


1917
"Bread sandwich" is discovered to be simply three pieces of bread in a stack. Widespread unrest mars lunchtimes across Eurasia. Comrade Lenin takes advantage of the uproar to return to Russia and begin scouting locations for restaurants. On November 7, the first Kremlin Fried Chicken opens.


1918
Czar's Czandwiches declares bankruptcy. Kremlin Fried Chicken seizes all assets and introduces the Soviet Onion.


1919
First Franchising Congress is held, in hopes of extending the Kremlin Fried Chicken message to the world.


1920
Beginning of the New Eating Plan (NEP), a push to ensure that all Russian meals came from Kremlin Fried Chicken. Since the chain had, at most 10 locations at this point, the NEP led to mass starvation and counterrevolutionary calls to pizza delivery joints.


1924
Comrade V.I. Sanders steps down as leader of Kremlin Fried Chicken. Kroclin takes over daily management.


1927
Thomasky is expelled from management for suggesting the "Capitalist Size," which includes five ears of corn with each meal. According to KFC leaders, this would bankrupt the company both morally and financially.


1928
Kroclin's Five-Ear Plan, which includes five ears of corn with each meal, is introduced.


1939
World War II begins. Kremlin Fried Chicken contracts to supply all of Germany's condiments.


1941
Germany invade Russia. Rumors that their wienerschnitzels are laden with Kremlin Fried Chicken's mustard are completely untrue.


1946
The Warsaw Pactty Melt is introduced.


1949
Chinese division of Kremlin Fried Chicken established. Market penetration is approximately 90 percent, with only Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan unable to taste the sweetness of the Workers' Eating Paradise.


1950-1959
Kremlin Fried Chicken's attempts at establishing franchises in the United States are blocked by government action.


1956
Comrade V.I. Sanders makes his first public appearance in almost 39 years. Observers comment on his healthy glow and unmoving, glassy eyes. After standing stiffly and silently at an observation balcony for several minutes, Comrade Sanders is carried out of view.


1962
The Cuban Mussel Crisis. Capitalist running dog U.S. food companies object to Kremlin Fried Chicken's new seafood menu, introduced at our Havana store.


1965
The Kitchenware Debate. Foolish American food executive argues about packaging (bucket vs. bourgeouis paper wrapping) with Kremlin Fried Chicken officials.


1980
American cooks, fearing they will be outcooked by Russia's most lowly food workers, pull out of the Olympic cookoff. Chickens.


1984
Having won all the accolades they could handle for a while, Kremlin Fried Chicken boycotts the Olympic cookoff.


1988
In honor of the Soviet Premier, Gorbachef's Salad is introduced. It remains our worst-selling item.


1993
Kremlin Fried Chicken sells its 1,000,000 drumstick. In honor of the event, we hold a gala parade of all our delivery vehicles in Red Square.


1999
Kremlin Fried Chicken becomes the first Communist Chicken Restaurant, founded in Russia in the first part of the century, to have a Web site.
 
missile
Avatar
#32
Can you tell us a little of the history on the famous Borscht burgers at the Moscow McDonalds..
 
Vanni Fucci
Avatar
#33
Assuming that all life began in some primordeal goo, in the form of asexual single cell organisms, the most correct answer, with the knowledge that we possess thus far in the field of microbiology, to the age old question about the chicken and the egg, is that the chicken had to have come first; or rather the organism that would one day evolve into the chicken...anyone care to disagree...
 
missile
Avatar
#34
To say that the egg came before the chicken is the same as assuming the baby arrived before the mother-totally impossible. I haven't any university philosophy courses,just some ordinary everyday common sense.
 
peapod
#35
Forget Mcdonalds in russia...ehm..I am more worried about what jack in the box is up to. I find this article very distrubing. :P

MURFREESBORO, KENTUCKY-- Jack In The Box restaurants have put new smiley faces on the industrial eyesores of their corporation. The tallow containment chambers, in the industrial area of town, have been given a face-lift to crown off a thorough renovating of the aging grease refining facility.

The two large spherical chambers that hold the special Jack In The Box lard blend that is used to fry their food, have been painted and decorated to look like their spokesperson "Jack." Other improvements include a new football stadium for their football team, the Carnivores, and a proposed theme park.

Many though, are curious about the mysterious greasy product that is refined inside.

"The fry mixture itself is a special combination of fats, oils, and other secret substances," said spokesperson Sheila Dyke. "The grease is mixed directly into distilling chambers after being fed in from a series of pipes and ducts. The product is then cooked and allowed to ferment for a precise amount of time, before it's filtered, irradiated, and tested for flavour."

Jack In The Box tankers deliver the final product, "Jack-Fry," to restaurants throughout the United States. (Environmental laws have prohibited the franchise from expanding into Canada.)

Although deliciously addictive when saturated inside french fries, onion rings, and chicken nuggets, the special mixture can be deadly if consumed in large quantities. A spill in 1998 had Hazmat teams scrambling, after a near meltdown caused by impurities in some of the beef fat.

"The fluid cooked through two feet of concrete and turned three tankers crispy golden brown," said a former refinery worker.

Although the damage was minimal, many were comparing it to the incident in Russia, when the first McDonald's in Moscow was exposed to high levels of radiation. It was discovered they were using sub-standard microwaves brought in from neighbouring Kamchatka.

Jack In The Box has been under pressure to clean up their refining facility, which because of other minor grease leaks, was drawing people towards the plant like rats to a piper.

"It's the pheromones in the tallow," said Shirley Uppins, an FDA spokesperson. "They deny it, of course. But how else can you explain the crowds of people that mill around the area and sniffing the air? They're all driven there by the smell."

Dyke avoided the accusation and explained that the government had already declared the grounds safe. "The plant improvements show Jack In The Box's dedication to cleaning up the environment and making it safe for everyone, including our own workers," said Dyke.

The new happy faces also hide a more sinister aspect of the plant: increased security.

"There is more than one restaurant chain that would like to get their hands on our patented Jack-Fry recipe," confirmed Mel Haroldson, security officer. "Before the makeover we caught an insider selling samples of the grease to some Middle-Eastern firm. Perhaps they only wanted it for falafels, who can say? I can't tell you all what we've done here, but just let me say that anyone trying to get a sample now will find themselves out of the frying pan and into the deep fryer...but not literally."

The new makeover has cleaned up a few problems and put smiles on everyone's faces, satisfying government inspectors and townsfolk alike.
 
Sinthetik
#36
Terrible, Terrible stuff. The only place I consider decent when It comes to fast food is Burger King. I worked there for 2 years and it was the cleanest place ever.
 
Twila
Avatar
#37
Quote:

is that the chicken had to have come first; or rather the organism that would one day evolve into the chicken...anyone care to disagree...

I'd like to disagree. And will do so. However. No big sticks allowed into this......discussion. (small reminder. I've no comma key and can't type correctly punctuated sentences)

Evolution took place in the egg. Not in the fully formed chicken. There fore it is the egg that came first.
 
peapod
#38
Alright twila lets finish this once for all :P I will mail you two packages (canada post) one will be a chicken, one will be an egg. I mail them at the exactly the same time, whatever one you get first will be the winner :P
Hope you don't end up with "egg on your face" :P and ehm..... don't forget not to put all your eggs in one basket....or you could as mark twain said and watch them "basket".
If you put all your change away for a "nest egg" for your next adventure, you will notice that the change does not "lay"
 
Twila
Avatar
#39
Peapod. What if the egg arrives cracked? And the chicken arrives dead? What if the chicken arrives cracked? Will this egg be a fertalized egg? Was the mommy chicken promiscuous (sp?)? Who is the egg's father? and was the chicken organic and free range? What about antibiotics? Cause antibiotics could change the entire outcome.

I think we'll need a control group for this.
 
zenfisher
#40
What if the chicken lays an egg?
 
peapod
#41
Well you certainly have covered everything twila. I will hard boil the egg first so if there is a crack it won't matter. The father well its leghorn foghorn of course! The big question organic or free range? Both are two expensive and since I am just sending it to you, it will be one of those suspect chickens from the grocery store. Antibiotics well its good enough for the farm salmon, makes the mutations go down easier.
 
missile
#42
Somebody should apply for a study grant to investigate this incredible waste of time.
 
peapod
#43
yes they should, and they would probally get the grant to :P
 
missile
Avatar
#44
It could always be tied in with the Asian Bird Flu..just a hint to get someone started. The Egg Marketing Board should be interested in this!
 
peapod
#45
good points! we could also squeeze in the square egg question. Why not square eggs, soon tomatoes will be square for easier packing, so naturally why not the egg.
 
missile
Avatar
#46
As long as the poor hens aren't forced to lay square eggs[sounds very painful!],that's a fantastic idea.
 
peapod
#47
frankienstein food Hey you got something going at your end with salmon. I read about it, gene munipulation for a hardy fish. When you grow the third eye than you can start worrying.
 
missile
Avatar
#48
I'd never eat any fish that came from Saint John Harbour or the nearby river-about 60% of our toilets empty into the harbour!The farm salmon just hasn't got the taste that the wild variety has,but, can't afford salmon anyway!
 
Twila
Avatar
#49
ewwww! farmed salmon. Yick! The things I could tell you about farmed salmon. Like....the pesticide they use for sea lice was approved for only a short period of time because testing its safety is not finished. The pesticide works on as a nuero toxin and destroys all sorts of other creatures in the water. Farmed salmon on average contain 2ppm or more PCB. 2ppm is the limit for safety set by the CFIA. Wild salmon has less then .01ppm Hard decision to make eh? They feed them fish meal full of antibiotics. and the flesh of farmed salmon is naturally grey. a colourant is in the feed. They decide what colour to make the salmon. I have a salmon fan (Salmofan) at work. Designer fish. Who would have thunk it?


Spring (Chinook) salmon are testing positive for PBDE (Fire retardant) The positive spin is that at least you won't accidentally burn your fish. The scarey part is that no tests have been done on what happens to living organisms that ingest PBDE's.
--

GM fish are interesting. They grow twice as fast as their biologically natural siblings. Should be really interesting when they escape (and they will) we'll be able to watch first hand the devestation they'll reek on the environment as they cobble up everything in their path. They are more aggressive then non gm salmon.

pssst. I work in the seafood industry. Just say no to farmed salmon.
 
peapod
#50
Right on Sister!!!!!!! Yikes and double yikes You actually work in this industry. A salmonfan? What the ?????? I cannot believe that one .
Oh boy I am grinding my teeth now, this topic makes me so mad I visit the broughton archipelago whenever I can. What is going on there makes me sick!! You cannot believe the amount of fish farms in this beautiful place. They already have had a crash there because so many of the young salmon smolts have lice on them.
On prince edward island there is a company called Aqua Bounty, such nice people working on engineering the first generation of modified salmon raised in fish farms.
Real fish don't eat pellets!!!! Hey twila have you heard about the guy in Nanaimo, he has a closed loop system and is doing salmon. People who have tried it say its pretty good, I cannot bring myself to try it tho. At least with a closed loop system the wild stock is protected. I gotta quit now, I am grinding my teeth to much. :P
Hey twila I am sending you something in a pm on this matter. Remember make your day better by bugging a fish farmer
 
Vanni Fucci
Avatar
#51
Quote: Originally Posted by Twila

Quote:

is that the chicken had to have come first; or rather the organism that would one day evolve into the chicken...anyone care to disagree...

I'd like to disagree. And will do so. However. No big sticks allowed into this......discussion. (small reminder. I've no comma key and can't type correctly punctuated sentences)

Evolution took place in the egg. Not in the fully formed chicken. There fore it is the egg that came first.

Evolutionists agree that all life began as single cell, asexual protein cells...there was no egg involved in those days, and it was by the process of mitosis that the cells were replicated and produced two identical cells...it was through a few hundred million years of evolution that the chicken gained the ability to lay eggs...but that which evolved into a chicken was around long before that...
 
Twila
Avatar
#52
Well according to this:
--

It really all depends on your interpretation of the question.

Who'd have thought a silly question like this could inspire an entire webpage?
 
Reverend Blair
#53
Why not? It's gotten four pages of pretty entertaining posts here so far.
 
Twila
#54
So Rev. What's your take on it? Chicken or egg?
 
Blackleaf
Avatar
#55
I can't believe so many people are silyl enough to ask the question: "What came first - the chicken or the egg?"

The answer is that NONE came first. Chickens evolved from creatures that lived millions of years ago (they evolved from reptiles and dinosaurs, as did all of today's birds), and birds' eggs evolved from the eggs of the lizards who over time evolved into chickens and birds and which were the world's first creatures to lay eggs with an eggshell, rather than having eggs that have a "jelly-like" surface.

It's like saying: "What came: the human or the womb?"
 
Curiosity
#56
What came first

Male or Female?
 
ElPolaco
#57
Quote: Originally Posted by peapod

Right on Sister!!!!!!! Yikes and double yikes You actually work in this industry. A salmonfan? What the ?????? I cannot believe that one .
Oh boy I am grinding my teeth now, this topic makes me so mad I visit the broughton archipelago whenever I can. What is going on there makes me sick!! You cannot believe the amount of fish farms in this beautiful place. They already have had a crash there because so many of the young salmon smolts have lice on them.
On prince edward island there is a company called Aqua Bounty, such nice people working on engineering the first generation of modified salmon raised in fish farms.
Real fish don't eat pellets!!!! Hey twila have you heard about the guy in Nanaimo, he has a closed loop system and is doing salmon. People who have tried it say its pretty good, I cannot bring myself to try it tho. At least with a closed loop system the wild stock is protected. I gotta quit now, I am grinding my teeth to much. :P

Quote has been trimmed
I see in the natural food store here canned Salmon under the brand of "Rain Coast" from BC. It claims to be "wild" and "natural". Any info on it?
 
Twila
Avatar
#58
--

There's all the info you need Elpolaco. It is in fact wild and from BC. It is illegal to sell farmed salmon as wild. Plus you can tell the difference.
 
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