Flying Spaghetti Monster

selin
#1
The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is the deity of the parody religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarianism. The "Flying Spaghetti Monster" first appeared in a satirical open letter written by Bobby Henderson in 2005, protesting the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to permit the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in public school science classes. In the letter, Henderson parodied the concept of intelligent design by professing belief in a supernatural creator that closely resembles spaghetti and meatballs. Henderson further called for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism to be allotted equal time in science classrooms alongside intelligent design and evolution.

Flying Spaghetti Monster - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (external - login to view)

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou *** when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go **** yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
I. Ending poverty
II. Curing diseases
III. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

About « Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (external - login to view)
 
L Gilbert
+2
#2  Top Rated Post
lmao Thanks for that, Selin!
 
Retired_Can_Soldier
#3
The old Flying Spaghetti monster. Something I have not heard of in a while.
 
Spade
+1
#4
Thanks, Selin. I no longer fear for your soul.
 
lone wolf
+1
#5
Cool! I just stewed up a crock of moose-meat sauce too....
 
Goober
+1
#6
Selin

An excellent post. Thank you
 
Cannuck
+2
#7
Quote: Originally Posted by CannuckView Post

Makes sense to me, that's why I'm a Pastafarian. As has been proven, global warming is a direct effect of the shrinking pirate population. All this other talk, as to the reasons for global warming, is nothing more than deflection.


People laugh at us but I know the truth. Nobody has been able to disprove the pirate/global warming link.
 
selin
+2
#8
the most enjoying things to do with this belief is that it isn't a sin to make your own aphorisms;
stop having sex, and look at whether your God could create Man or not.
 
eh1eh
#9

Atheists SECRETLY believe in Yahweh - YouTube



Oh yeah. lol.
 
tay
#10
A Massachusetts woman has won a legal battle to wear a colander on her head in her state driver's license photo.

Lindsay Miller is a Pastafarian, who are known as members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (external - login to view).

Pastafarians believe the FSM, as it is called, to be a powerful force.

The secular religion views the existence of a Flying Spaghetti Monster to be just as probable as the existence of the Christian God, according to an online post by the American Humanist Association, which assisted in Miller's dispute with the Registry of Motor Vehicles.

The religion denies it is either satirical or intended to be humorous, but rather based in science.

It describes heaven as a place with a "beer volcano" and "stripper factory." It attributes the invention of the lawn sprinkler to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Anyone may become ordained for a $25 fee.

Lawyer Patty DeJuneas calls Pastafarianism a "secular religion that uses parody to make its point."

Pastafarians are encouraged to wear colanders on official identification photos and to assert their constitutional rights if denied.

The registry had denied Miller's request to wear a spaghetti strainer, citing its regulation that "A hat or other head cover is not acceptable, but if worn for medical or religious reasons, it may be allowed if it does not hide any facial features."

The association helped in filing an administrative appeal with the registry citing Miller's First Amendment rights. The registry allowed the photo before the appeal was heard.

Miller was then allowed to have her license photo taken with the colander on her head.

"The RMV processed the customer’s request consistent with its established facial image policy," a spokesman said.

"If people are given the right to wear religious garments in government ID photos, then this must extend to people who follow the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster," said David Niose, legal director of the Appignani Humanist Legal Center.

"Wearing a colander is a gesture to express their beliefs publicly," said Niose.

Mass. woman can wear spaghetti strainer in license photo | Local News - WCVB Home (external - login to view)



 
Tecumsehsbones
+1
#11
I find Pastafarianism to be one of the better religions.
 
spaminator
#12
I wonder if it works in a similar fashion as a tin foil hat?
 
IdRatherBeSkiing
+2
#13
I believe colanders are also acceptable now at Canadian citizenship ceremonies.
 
EagleSmack
+1
#14
Massachusetts... here I am.


Actually...if it's true... I am glad she made a mockery of my libtard state government.
 
Danbones
+1
#15
I'm all for ebile religions, but as far as global warming wiping out the pirates
um;
I got an 800 triple with a studded track,
just because you don't see the flag...
 
Twila
+2
#16
Quote: Originally Posted by TecumsehsbonesView Post

I find Pastafarianism to be one of the better religions.

it's the food. When you've a belly full of pasta, you ain't gettin up and causing sh!t.
 
Tecumsehsbones
#17
MMMmmm. . . sketti.
 
Danbones
#18
pusskeddies don't getcha the mushrooms will
 

Similar Threads

1
NSA - cookie monster?
by Karlin | Dec 29th, 2005
1
Monster in Law
by #juan | Oct 25th, 2005
23
Dam the Sock Monster!!
by peapod | Jan 22nd, 2005
no new posts