Keeping virginity till marriage for the Catholics, unrealistic?

[SwitSof]

I would be interested to know if anybody here can tell how many people s/he knows especially in what are considered advanced countries who still keep their virginity till they get married.

Some people seem to base their argument that it's unrealistic to keep virginity until you're married, cause that would lead to the pathway of having an unhappy marriage particularly sexually. Or to lead the pathway for the person him/herself to be unhappy to surpress his/her sexual desires.

So do you reckon what the Catholic religion demands on this virginity issue is unrealistic?

 

[sanctus]

I would be interested to know if anybody here can tell how many people s/he knows especially in what are considered advanced countries who still keep their virginity till they get married.

Some people seem to base their argument that it's unrealistic to keep virginity until you're married, cause that would lead to the pathway of having an unhappy marriage particularly sexually. Or to lead the pathway for the person him/herself to be unhappy to surpress his/her sexual desires.

So do you reckon what the Catholic religion demands on this virginity issue is unrealistic?

Not unrealistic at all. Many Catholic girls retain their virginity. It's a matter of choice. Why isolate the Catholic Church? Surely it is not the only denomination to teach chastity to its membership?

 

[SwitSof]

Why isolate the Catholic Church? Surely it is not the only denomination to teach chastity to its membership?

Just because I'm a Catholic, so at least I know a little about it (definitely won't say am an expert either!), whereas for other religions I have no good knowledge about them at all.

 

[SwitSof]

Not unrealistic at all. Many Catholic girls retain their virginity. It's a matter of choice.

Indeed it's a personal choice.
And when one makes a choice, there are consequences.
So I suppose your take on it is that this choice to keep virginity till one's married is not unrealistic as say it wouldn't lead to an unhappy marriage for example?

 

[sanctus]

Indeed it's a personal choice.
And when one makes a choice, there are consequences.
So I suppose your take on it is that this choice to keep virginity till one's married is not unrealistic as say it wouldn't lead to an unhappy marriage for example?

Marriage is not about sex. If it is, I would say that is a bigger problem. Millions of people in the Church practice either a full or temporary celibacy.

As for consequences. I rather see that as an inappropriate word in this situation. Your usage of it within the context of your writing suggests the end as a problem of some sort.

 

[sanctus]

Just because I'm a Catholic, so at least I know a little about it (definitely won't say am an expert either!), whereas for other religions I have no good knowledge about them at all.

We are not alone The Islamic faith preaches and expects chastity from its women. Certainly fundamentalist Protestants and the Orthodox and traditional Anglicans all preach remaining a virgin until one's wedding night.

 

[s243a]

I would be interested to know if anybody here can tell how many people s/he knows especially in what are considered advanced countries who still keep their virginity till they get married.

Some people seem to base their argument that it's unrealistic to keep virginity until you're married, cause that would lead to the pathway of having an unhappy marriage particularly sexually. Or to lead the pathway for the person him/herself to be unhappy to surpress his/her sexual desires.

So do you reckon what the Catholic religion demands on this virginity issue is unrealistic?

I totally disagreeable with that. Granted you don't want to end up being the 30 year old virgin but if you can meet the right person young enough I think it would be a great thing to wait. I think the wrong kind of sex could cheapen the experience for when you actually meet the right person. Of course I don't believe until waiting until marriage. I believe in waiting until it feels right as long as that doesn't end up taking too long. I think it is all a gamble. Do you take what you can get early on for fear of missing a great opportunity or do you hold out and wait for something really special. There are of course problems with this. Jumping in bed is a much easier way to hook up.

 

[look3467]

Just because I'm a Catholic, so at least I know a little about it (definitely won't say am an expert either!), whereas for other religions I have no good knowledge about them at all.

The word virgin simply means in the biblical sense pure. Spiritually speaking, the pureness of heart is what God seeks.
The Lord seeks those that will worship Him in spirit and in truth. :Joh 4:23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

If you love and trust in Jesus, then the question of virginity in the physical is dealt with under those circumstances. You are your own the best judge of it, without having someone impose sanctions on it.
Good behavior stems from Gods presences in the temple of our hearts. Jam 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

Now as for consequences: God knowing the nature and abilities of the flesh along with the weakness of the flesh for lust, gave us some guide lines to follow to prevent us from suffering unduly. If we break those guidelines, we do not loose our spiritual son ship with Him, but we do loose the His favor, and thus have not only to suffer spiritual vexation of spirit but may be a physical one as well.
And until we repent (Change the way we think) then will will fall in His favor again.

God as a Father will never abandon His children. He may correct them along the way, but never will He do away with your soul.


Peace>>>AJ:love9:

 

[catman]

Guys don't choose to be virgins. Women make that choice for them.

 

[Josephine]

I think it can be hard for people to wait until marriage, but I applaude anyone who feels that strongly about their beliefs!

Either way, it's a difficult decision to make, and it can be really crappy to have regrets about your choice.

 

[tracy]

I know 3 people waiting for marriage to have sex (all women btw, the one really religious guy I know already succumbed to temptation, but feels really bad about it). I support them in their choice.

I personally think it's a terrible idea though. I do think they are setting themselves up for trouble when they do get married. You can be compatible with someone in every way but sexually and that's a big deal. I wouldn't want to be commited to someone for the rest of my life if we can't have a good sexual relationship. I also don't really get the whole emphasis placed on virginity. I don't see why the first time you have sex is supposed to be more important than the 2nd, 5th, 700th, etc. Virginity is just the barrier between ignorance and knowledge.

 

[snfu73]

I would be interested to know if anybody here can tell how many people s/he knows especially in what are considered advanced countries who still keep their virginity till they get married.

Some people seem to base their argument that it's unrealistic to keep virginity until you're married, cause that would lead to the pathway of having an unhappy marriage particularly sexually. Or to lead the pathway for the person him/herself to be unhappy to surpress his/her sexual desires.

So do you reckon what the Catholic religion demands on this virginity issue is unrealistic?

To me, it doesn't matter. If someone ELSE wants to stay a virgin til they are 80, or sleep with everything they see...doesn't matter to me...that is their choice. I do what I wanna do.

 

[snfu73]

Not unrealistic at all. Many Catholic girls retain their virginity. It's a matter of choice. Why isolate the Catholic Church? Surely it is not the only denomination to teach chastity to its membership?

Agreed...many religions do seem to like the idea of promoting celibacy.

 

[look3467]

To me, it doesn't matter. If someone ELSE wants to stay a virgin til they are 80, or sleep with everything they see...doesn't matter to me...that is their choice. I do what I wanna do.

A child has to have guidelines by which to follow for the safety of the child. But as the child matures, those guidelines fade away as the desire to voluntarily exercise them from the heart grows.

The virginity restraint is for immature children driven by fear of moral and physical consequences.
Moral because it works on the mind, and physically because it prevents early sexual promiscuity of which could lead to devastating consequences with unwanted children and or deceases.

But certainly not a sin preventing one from entering heaven.

Peace>>>AJ:love9:

 

[snfu73]

A child has to have guidelines by which to follow for the safety of the child. But as the child matures, those guidelines fade away as the desire to voluntarily exercise them from the heart grows.

The virginity restraint is for immature children driven by fear of moral and physical consequences.
Moral because it works on the mind, and physically because it prevents early sexual promiscuity of which could lead to devastating consequences with unwanted children and or deceases.

But certainly not a sin preventing one from entering heaven.

Peace>>>AJ:love9:

Again, I see the decision as a very personal one. I don't think it is reserved for the very young. I think it can be a major decision for people of many ages...whether a virgin or not. These choices are up to the individual. I, personally, have made my own decisions.

 

[look3467]

Again, I see the decision as a very personal one. I don't think it is reserved for the very young. I think it can be a major decision for people of many ages...whether a virgin or not. These choices are up to the individual. I, personally, have made my own decisions.

I would like to agree with you on the many ages, but I can't. A child of eight may know what its abilities are sexually, but truly must have some restraints as protection for mis use of those abilities.

Not only that, but not having enough experience to make good and proper judgments.

Much like allowing sexually explicit movies to be watched on TV by 8 to 12 year olds.

If we as a society do not regulate those things by imposing restraints, then our children will be the recipients of the consequences of it.

Peace>>>AJ:love9:

 

[sanctus]

I would like to agree with you on the many ages, but I can't. A child of eight may know what its abilities are sexually, but truly must have some restraints as protection for mis use of those abilities.

Not only that, but not having enough experience to make good and proper judgments.

Much like allowing sexually explicit movies to be watched on TV by 8 to 12 year olds.

If we as a society do not regulate those things by imposing restraints, then our children will be the recipients of the consequences of it.

Peace>>>AJ:love9:

It is not up to society to impose restraints on a person's sexuality or sexual behaviour. It is up to parents to set this agenda. Further, when a person reaches a mature age, it is their personal choice what sexual behaviour they will allow for themselves.

 

[sanctus]

Again, I see the decision as a very personal one. I don't think it is reserved for the very young. I think it can be a major decision for people of many ages...whether a virgin or not. These choices are up to the individual. I, personally, have made my own decisions.

You're quite correct, I think. no one can decide for us if we are to be sexually active or not. But, in line to the OP, I very much maintain that a chaste life is both possible and preferable for very young people(16-20's something)

 

[look3467]

It is not up to society to impose restraints on a person's sexuality or sexual behaviour. It is up to parents to set this agenda. Further, when a person reaches a mature age, it is their personal choice what sexual behaviour they will allow for themselves.

Society has a right to govern itself, otherwise, it runs a muck.
Let me quote scripture since it is my favorite thing to do: Pro 29:2 When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.

Righteous does not necessarily mean religious, but right people with right attitudes.

A society that cannot govern itself is bound for self destruction. Proven over and over again over the course of History.

I do agree with you Sanctus in that the parents have the primary roll of responsibility to teach their children about sex, but when the parents are kids themselves, then the breakdown has already begun.
And of course, a mature individual is captain of it own life, but yet within the confines of the structured society.

Deterrents, fences, hedges are all to help maintain a proper course in the direction of humanity.
But then, there are those who cannot abide, but rather prefer to tear down towards becoming a lawless society.

The will of the flesh in great numbers will bring the ruin of any society, that is a given.

That is why it takes Godliness over the will of the flesh to govern our behavior.

Peace>>>AJ:love9:

 

[Pangloss]

Isn't chastity the absence of sex, and celibacy the absence of marriage? I know the dictionary conflates sex and marriage in celibacy, but what about the Mother Church?

Pangloss