saying grace

March 5th, 2007, 02:29 PM

Do you say grace?

If you don't, what do you do when you're with someone who does? or wants to? Do you ever anticipate that a guest may wish to say grace and allow him to do so?

I had my baptist friend around the other day and realised before i started to eat that he would probably wish to pray before we ate, so i asked him and he agreed that he would like to, and promptly asked God for a lot of lovely things for me and my wife, which i found very embarrassing, especially having to say amen, it seems wrong. Am i rude if i invite a christian to dinnr but don't give them time or opportunity to say grace? am i rude if i don't say amen?

March 5th, 2007, 02:33 PM

We have differing opinions within our family but the elders win and at family gatherings we say grace. The youngest is to have that honour but my daughter has broken the chain so now Gramma says grace. BTW I do not say amen.

March 5th, 2007, 02:44 PM

That's an interesting question Hermann. I was thinking about this two weeks ago. My grandfather passed away on Valentines day, so I spent my study week away from school in Western Canada. There were places to go and of course the funeral service and I was wondering if people would even notice that I wasn't saying Amen. There was grace said at a couple dinners too. Then I got to thinking, what would an Atheists funeral service be like? I'd like to have my body sunk to the bottom of the ocean and scavenged by the plethora of organisms down there, but I believe that's something frowned on. Also, I don't have a wife yet and if by chance she were a believer, I wouldn't object to a service in a Church if that's what she wanted, as long as my organs are harvested and my remains burried at sea. That's my final wish, oh and maybe something could be named after me, that'd be cool

March 5th, 2007, 02:48 PM

Personally, I don't think it's rude to not offer a chance for grace. If someone wishes to give thanks, they can do so before they begin to eat, it doesn't NEED to be a group activity. But, when it comes to kids, it gets sticky. My kids LOVE to sing grace. So, the people in my family who are not religious simply hold hands and smile while the kids sing away. Once in a while the kids want to actually say grace, rather than sing their song, and they go through what they have in their lives to be thankful for, which usually includes the company. It's never bothered anyone I know to have the kids offer up a little prayer of thanks in their honor, but we've taught them through our own actions, not to pray FOR things, unless it's health or strength for a loved one in a time of trial. We've also taught them that the company has every right to remain silent during a prayer, and an 'amen' is not required. Everyone prays in such different ways, for such different things that even amongst the religious people I know, saying 'amen' is not expected.

March 5th, 2007, 02:48 PM

Great topic I bless my food before I eat. As a family back in Texas we ALWAYS said grace at home or out. We got a few stares at times but it was the one time of the day that the kids were to think about the positives in their lives. In our Circle we always bless the offering and thank Goddess and God for our many blessings.

March 5th, 2007, 03:29 PM

I think a thought about the food you're about to be lucky enough to eat is a proper thing to do.

March 5th, 2007, 03:39 PM

Exactly Beaver.

Religion or spirituality aside, I think saying grace, discussing how lucky we are, how much we appreciate what we have, is a great thing. I love how it makes my company smile to hear the kids say how thankful they are for the visit. And I like that it makes my kids stop to think.

March 5th, 2007, 07:16 PM

often when i eat meat i stop for a moment to be thankful that I am rich enough to enjoy meat and spare a thought for the poor creature that died for my food.

I still feel strange about being prayed for. It seems a little arrogant to accept the prayers of someone else to a God you're not sure exists.

I'd be interested to hear some of the more religious members' views

March 5th, 2007, 08:08 PM

Well, if you're interested in my view of it....

Prayers are well wishes, who wouldn't accept well wishes from a friend?

And, if you're not sure god exists, well, either he does, or he doesn't. And if he does, do you really think there is going to be some ramification to you accepting a prayer? If there is a God, he would know your heart and mind, know where your doubts are coming from, and he'd know your intentions are good.

And if he doesn't exist... well, then there's really no reason not to smile and say 'amen' is there? lol.

March 5th, 2007, 08:56 PM

I never bow my head or say amen...even if I am in someone elses home. If someones does wish to say grace, I fully support them, and will gladly give the opportunity. But, I don't take part myself.

March 5th, 2007, 10:03 PM

Grace means my food is one minute closer to going cold.

That being said, if others want to, then I have no problem with it. But I already know how lucky I am to be in the position I'm in; despite our small differences, we really are the luckiest people in the world, especially when you see how heartbreaking a lot of others have it. Personally, saying grace wouldn't change my belief in that.

March 5th, 2007, 11:41 PM

In my opinion, no, and no. It's polite to do so, but not rude not to. Your house, your rules, you are not obliged to accommodate anybody's beliefs but your own and people who are guests in your home should understand that. Rude would be the Christian insisting on a moment of silence to say a grace and/or insisting you all join in, or you at the Christian's house insisting that no grace be said. Anybody who wishes to say a grace at my dinner table is welcome to withdraw into a moment of personal silence to do whatever seems needful, nobody will say anything about it or try to prevent it, but we are not a religious household and don't take part in it. Similarly, at somebody else's home where such rituals are followed, we will sit quietly while it goes on, but won't take part in it or comment on it.

The sole exception is my mother-in-law, a saintly and devout Roman Catholic old lady who will just sit down and start reciting aloud, "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen, bless us O Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord Amen, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen," while crossing herself at the start and end. In the interests of maintaining peace in the family, we let that go by without comment. She's made it clear on more than one occasion that she thinks we're religiously retarded (yes, that's the phrase she uses), and we let that go by without argument too. It's not worth the trouble it'd cause to resist.

March 5th, 2007, 11:46 PM

It's a very awkward situation for me. If i say amen i feel a hypocrit, if I don't i feel i'm letting down the sayer. I feel awful if i just start without thinking as i usually do. Not that my friend ever brings it up, it's all in my head, but i try to be polite at all times.

March 5th, 2007, 11:54 PM

That's all anyone can expect. Don't worry about it, you're okay.

March 6th, 2007, 04:44 AM

I know exactly what you mean... My whole family are non religious, except for the fact that an Aunt of mine married a Methodist Minister; when we visit with My Aunt, her Husband and Children, (I can't speak for the rest of my family,) but I, personally, always feel a sense of unease when they say grace at mealtimes, even now at 31, I feel like a small child that is misbehaving. Silly, I know, but...

March 6th, 2007, 08:34 AM

i'm glad i'm not the only one :0)