Catholics call time on long-winded eulogies

[marygaspe]

By James Grubel






CANBERRA (Reuters) - Keep it short, and don't mention sex or drunkenness -- those are the new rules for eulogies at funeral masses in Australia's Catholic church.
An increase in the number of inappropriate comments at funeral masses has prompted Australia's most senior Catholic, Cardinal George Pell, to impose a five-minute deadline on eulogies and deem some areas of a person's life off limits.
The move is designed to cut back on the number of long-winded eulogies by friends or family members at funeral masses, and to ensure the funeral mass keeps its main focus as an act of worship to God and a place for prayers for the deceased.
"On not a few occasions, inappropriate remarks glossing over the deceased's proclivities (drinking prowess, romantic conquests etc) or about the Church (attacking its moral teachings) have been made at funeral masses," Pell's new guidelines say.
He said the comments often embarrassed the priest, the family and the congregation and become the focus of the service.
The Catholic church in Ireland and most of the United States ban lay people from giving eulogies at funeral masses, but the church in Australia allows for a few short words of remembrance from a family member or friend near the end of a funeral mass.
However, Pell's guidelines, obtained by Reuters on Friday, make it clear the eulogy must never replace the officiating priest's homily, or sermon, which should focus on God's compassion and the mystery of the resurrection of Jesus.
The "words of remembrance" should last no more than three to five minutes, or one typed page, and should focus on a person's human qualities and faith," the guidelines say.
"The reflection should be prepared beforehand, and ideally be reviewed with the priest or presiding minister beforehand, to avoid undue length or embarrassing situations," the guidelines say.
The new guidelines say anecdotes, poems or songs, might be better kept for services at the cemetery or crematorium, or for a vigil prayer service the night before a funeral.
The Catholic church is Australia's biggest, with about five million followers, followed closely by the Anglican church with just over four million.

 

[AndyF]

Pheeeewww. That limitation should come in my favor at my eulogy. A paragraph I could take, anything longer than that is a roast calling for a haunting by me.

Seriously. Good stuff!!!:thumbup:

AndyF

 

[sanctus]

Pheeeewww. That limitation should come in my favor at my eulogy. A paragraph I could take, anything longer than that is a roast calling for a haunting by me.

Seriously. Good stuff!!!:thumbup:

AndyF

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM...if you were in my parish for that comment I'd make my next homily at least half an hour long Seriously, in Homiletics we were taught to try and avoid over-long homilies as they tend to cause people to stray from your topic. 10 minutes is sufficient for most topics, I think.

 

[AndyF]

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM...if you were in my parish for that comment I'd make my next homily at least half an hour long Seriously, in Homiletics we were taught to try and avoid over-long homilies as they tend to cause people to stray from your topic. 10 minutes is sufficient for most topics, I think.

And of course should always conclude with lighter Irish humor!!!?. Ok,Ok. NOT. (Jeeesh, only my grandmother agrees.)

AndyF

 

[snfu73]

Just another reason I'm glad to not be part of the catholic church...

I kid....a little light joking bashing there.

I disagree with this idea. I don't feel it is the churches place to tell anyone how long a eulogy should be, or what should be mentioned. I see that as being over the line.

 

[TenPenny]

The Catholic church in Ireland and most of the United States ban lay people from giving eulogies at funeral masses, but the church in Australia allows for a few short words of remembrance from a family member or friend near the end of a funeral mass.

Indeed. You wouldn't want a funeral to turn into a time when those who knew the deceased could talk about him; after all, it's a religious service, and truly has nothing to do with the deceased.

That's funny. I've often wondered why funerals seem to have nothing to do with the deceased, and are often given by priests who don't seem to have even the vaguest notion of who they are talking about.

 

[snowles]

I don't think I want the church thing when I go. I just attended a really nice service for a family friend in a small town though that seemed much nicer and family oriented. They called it a celebration of life, where anyone and everyone attended. It was a really relaxed atmosphere, where people got together to socialize over coffee and tea and remember stories of the departed. There was an open mic if someone wanted to tell stories, and it began with the person's biography and how we all got to be there today. Spersed in the hall were photos that people brought, as well as some of his favourite things, that everyone could interpret their own way. For a guy I thought few people knew, there were easily 500 people there - I think many people are scared by the feelings invoked by a funeral service, and this method helped ease that, especially for the kids. Afterwards the family buried his ashes, and could do so in their own privacy.

I think I'd want that; it was really nice, and a lot more touching and personal than a sterile, depressing funeral. It helped put the family on ease after such an experience, and helped us remember what a great time we had together, instead of feeling bad about his leaving us.

 

[snfu73]

I don't think I want the church thing when I go. I just attended a really nice service for a family friend in a small town though that seemed much nicer and family oriented. They called it a celebration of life, where anyone and everyone attended. It was a really relaxed atmosphere, where people got together to socialize over coffee and tea and remember stories of the departed. There was an open mic if someone wanted to tell stories, and it began with the person's biography and how we all got to be there today. Spersed in the hall were photos that people brought, as well as some of his favourite things, that everyone could interpret their own way. For a guy I thought few people knew, there were easily 500 people there - I think many people are scared by the feelings invoked by a funeral service, and this method helped ease that, especially for the kids. Afterwards the family buried his ashes, and could do so in their own privacy.

I think I'd want that; it was really nice, and a lot more touching and personal than a sterile, depressing funeral. It helped put the family on ease after such an experience, and helped us remember what a great time we had together, instead of feeling bad about his leaving us.

I COMPLETELY agree....indeed!

Atikokan!!! I'm originally from Thunder Bay.