Son of fallen Sask Mountie still kisses his picture one year after 'papa's' death
By Tim Cook
REGINA (CP) - Natasha Szpakowski's 21-month-old son Luca still has a picture of his "papa" that he kisses from time to time.
She has tucked away all the cards and letters of support she has received from people across the country since her husband, RCMP Const. Marc Bourdages, was fatally shot a year ago. She'll show them to Luca one day when he is old enough to understand what happened to his father.
Szpakowski says her son has been the biggest source of comfort since Bourdages and his partner, Const. Robin Cameron, were gunned down on a dusty backroad near Spiritwood, Sask., last summer.
She sees her husband every time she looks at the little guy and knows he is the best legacy Bourdages could have ever left.
"I think that's probably the hardest thing out of all of this," Szpakowski said in an interview with The Canadian Press.
"Although it was a short time, at least I had my time with Marc. I feel Luca was robbed."
Szpakowski dabs at her eyes with a well-worn tissue that she has been crumpling in her fist.
It will be one year ago this weekend that Bourdages and Cameron responded to what they thought would be a routine assault complaint in downtown Spiritwood.
What ensued was an intense chase down country roads that ended with Bourdages and Cameron both being shot in the head. The suspect was on the run.
The officers fought off death for nine days, but their injuries were too severe. They died in hospital July 16 - only hours apart.
The suspect was found two days after that by some of his neighbours who convinced him to give himself up. Curtis Dagenais had been the focus of a 12-day manhunt. Police blocked off the area, searched vehicles and followed up on tips that proved to be useless.
Dagenais is charged with two counts of first-degree murder and faces a preliminary hearing in August.
While he has sat in jail waiting for his case to go before the courts, it's been a year of pain and sadness for the Bourdages and Cameron families as they try to come to terms with their losses.
Both officers were young and in the early part of their careers - Cameron was 29; Bourdages only 26.
Both had young children they left behind. Cameron had a daughter, Shayne, who was 11 at the time her mother died. Luca was only nine months old.
Both also had loved ones who understood the sudden dangers RCMP officers can face. Szpakowski, now 33, is herself a constable with the RCMP, while Cameron's father Howard was a member of the force in the 1970s.
"We've had our ups and downs," said Howard Cameron as he sat on the porch of his home on the Beardy's and Okemasis reserve north of Saskatoon.
"But we've been mostly coping - coping with that loss and that emptiness and the sorrow, and, of course, the anger kind of creeps in sometimes."
The sadness also creeps into a lot of things, Szpakowski said. She explained how Bourdages was a big Bon Jovi fan and hearing the band sing brings back memories. Or when Luca does something for the first time, she will find herself wishing her husband was there to share it with her.
"I knew that Marc had passed away and I was there when he took his last breath. But days after, weeks after, months after, sometimes you wake up and you just wonder did all this really happen or did I just have a bad dream?"
Cameron's life is being used as a tool to inspire young people on her home reserve. The high school has been renamed in her honour and a life-sized granite statue will soon greet all those who enter.
Howard Cameron said his daughter managed to stay away from the pitfalls that snare so many aboriginal young people who grow up on a reserve. It wasn't easy to leave her daughter behind and train for six months in Regina, but she did.
"She's kicked the door open regarding the barriers that have been there for First Nations," he said. "She's opened a lot of doors and it's up to us now as a society to keep those doors open."
Howard Cameron's granddaughter, who read a moving letter at the funeral about her love for her mother and her belief the two would see each other again, is living with a relative in Saskatoon now. Her grandfather says he sees a lot of his daughter in Shayne - even a lot of their mannerisms are the same.
"I can't physically hug my daughter now, today, but I can physically hug my granddaughter today. And just that connection eases the pain. It helps us go through what we're going through."
Szpakowski has tried to stay out of the public eye since her husband's death - the interview this week was her first.
She has since moved out of Spiritwood and is now an instructor at the RCMP training depot in Regina.
"I just want people to know that Marc wasn't just a police officer - he was a good husband, a good father, a good friend and a good son," she said. "Certainly the world lost a good person."
Bourdages grew up in Saint-Eustache, Que.
Both Howard Cameron and Szpakowski know that closure for them is a long way off because the case is likely to stretch into next year.
But neither have spent much time feeling angry at the accused.
"That would be a waste of my energies to do that," Szpakowski said. "If I bothered myself with so much anger, I would just be passing it on to Luca, and I certainly don't want to do that."
Howard Cameron admits to getting angry from time to time, but he's learned to control it.
"If this was 20-some years ago, I most likely would have hunted this person down and killed him myself," he said.
"The day will come where I will be face to face with this guy and I'll ultimately forgive him, because who am I to judge?"
Copyright © 2007 Canadian Press
By Tim Cook
REGINA (CP) - Natasha Szpakowski's 21-month-old son Luca still has a picture of his "papa" that he kisses from time to time.
She has tucked away all the cards and letters of support she has received from people across the country since her husband, RCMP Const. Marc Bourdages, was fatally shot a year ago. She'll show them to Luca one day when he is old enough to understand what happened to his father.
Szpakowski says her son has been the biggest source of comfort since Bourdages and his partner, Const. Robin Cameron, were gunned down on a dusty backroad near Spiritwood, Sask., last summer.
She sees her husband every time she looks at the little guy and knows he is the best legacy Bourdages could have ever left.
"I think that's probably the hardest thing out of all of this," Szpakowski said in an interview with The Canadian Press.
"Although it was a short time, at least I had my time with Marc. I feel Luca was robbed."
Szpakowski dabs at her eyes with a well-worn tissue that she has been crumpling in her fist.
It will be one year ago this weekend that Bourdages and Cameron responded to what they thought would be a routine assault complaint in downtown Spiritwood.
What ensued was an intense chase down country roads that ended with Bourdages and Cameron both being shot in the head. The suspect was on the run.
The officers fought off death for nine days, but their injuries were too severe. They died in hospital July 16 - only hours apart.
The suspect was found two days after that by some of his neighbours who convinced him to give himself up. Curtis Dagenais had been the focus of a 12-day manhunt. Police blocked off the area, searched vehicles and followed up on tips that proved to be useless.
Dagenais is charged with two counts of first-degree murder and faces a preliminary hearing in August.
While he has sat in jail waiting for his case to go before the courts, it's been a year of pain and sadness for the Bourdages and Cameron families as they try to come to terms with their losses.
Both officers were young and in the early part of their careers - Cameron was 29; Bourdages only 26.
Both had young children they left behind. Cameron had a daughter, Shayne, who was 11 at the time her mother died. Luca was only nine months old.
Both also had loved ones who understood the sudden dangers RCMP officers can face. Szpakowski, now 33, is herself a constable with the RCMP, while Cameron's father Howard was a member of the force in the 1970s.
"We've had our ups and downs," said Howard Cameron as he sat on the porch of his home on the Beardy's and Okemasis reserve north of Saskatoon.
"But we've been mostly coping - coping with that loss and that emptiness and the sorrow, and, of course, the anger kind of creeps in sometimes."
The sadness also creeps into a lot of things, Szpakowski said. She explained how Bourdages was a big Bon Jovi fan and hearing the band sing brings back memories. Or when Luca does something for the first time, she will find herself wishing her husband was there to share it with her.
"I knew that Marc had passed away and I was there when he took his last breath. But days after, weeks after, months after, sometimes you wake up and you just wonder did all this really happen or did I just have a bad dream?"
Cameron's life is being used as a tool to inspire young people on her home reserve. The high school has been renamed in her honour and a life-sized granite statue will soon greet all those who enter.
Howard Cameron said his daughter managed to stay away from the pitfalls that snare so many aboriginal young people who grow up on a reserve. It wasn't easy to leave her daughter behind and train for six months in Regina, but she did.
"She's kicked the door open regarding the barriers that have been there for First Nations," he said. "She's opened a lot of doors and it's up to us now as a society to keep those doors open."
Howard Cameron's granddaughter, who read a moving letter at the funeral about her love for her mother and her belief the two would see each other again, is living with a relative in Saskatoon now. Her grandfather says he sees a lot of his daughter in Shayne - even a lot of their mannerisms are the same.
"I can't physically hug my daughter now, today, but I can physically hug my granddaughter today. And just that connection eases the pain. It helps us go through what we're going through."
Szpakowski has tried to stay out of the public eye since her husband's death - the interview this week was her first.
She has since moved out of Spiritwood and is now an instructor at the RCMP training depot in Regina.
"I just want people to know that Marc wasn't just a police officer - he was a good husband, a good father, a good friend and a good son," she said. "Certainly the world lost a good person."
Bourdages grew up in Saint-Eustache, Que.
Both Howard Cameron and Szpakowski know that closure for them is a long way off because the case is likely to stretch into next year.
But neither have spent much time feeling angry at the accused.
"That would be a waste of my energies to do that," Szpakowski said. "If I bothered myself with so much anger, I would just be passing it on to Luca, and I certainly don't want to do that."
Howard Cameron admits to getting angry from time to time, but he's learned to control it.
"If this was 20-some years ago, I most likely would have hunted this person down and killed him myself," he said.
"The day will come where I will be face to face with this guy and I'll ultimately forgive him, because who am I to judge?"
Copyright © 2007 Canadian Press
