Funny quotes about Canada

[Ten Packs]

These are from a Readers Digest article on how Canadians find politics and goings-on in Canada funny..... when we're not wishing we could push them down a long flight of stairs.

BC newspaper publisher Stuart Keate: "Canada must be considered the Vichyssoise of nations - cold, half-French, and difficult to stir."

Author Mordecai Richler: "world-famous! - all over Canada."

Former Reform Leader Preston Manning: "An optimist in Canada is someone who think things could be worse."

Author/anthropologist J. R. Colombo: "Canada could have enjoyed English government, French culture and American know-how. Instead, it would up with English know-how, French government, and American culture."

First Prime Minister John A McDonald: "Do nothing by halves, which can be done by quarters."

Former PM Joe Clark (when working under PM Brian Mulroney), addressing an aboriginal audience: "Little Chin speaks for Big Chin."

 

[missile]

Pierre Berton once defined a Canadian as " someone who could make love in a canoe".

 

[icklemiss21]

I want to thank all the Canadians who came out today to wave to me - with all five fingers!
President George W. Bush (during his first visit to Ottawa Nov. 30, 2004)

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes.
Former Saskatchewan premier Tommy Douglas

Canada is the greatest nation in this country.
Former Toronto mayor Allan Lamport

We Canadians live in a blind spot about our identity. We have very strong feelings about who we aren't but only weak ones about who we are. We're passionate about what we don't want to become but oddly passive about what we should be.
John Cruickshank (in McLean's Magazine)

I'm not an American! I am a Canadian. I come from a "nice", thoroughly unrealistic country.
Matthew Fisher

Canadians are the people who learned to live without the bold accents of the natural ego-trippers of other lands.
Marshall McLuhan

Canadians have been so busy explaining to the Americans that we aren't British, and to the British that we aren't Americans that we haven't had time to become Canadians.
Helen Gordon McPherson

The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees.
June Callwood

 

[icklemiss21]

they are not all funny - but they are some of my favourites

 

[SECONDGEN]

Re: RE: Funny quotes about Canada

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. ~ Irving Layton, Canadian poet


There is my fave.

 

[I think not]

Canadians have been so busy explaining to the Americans that we aren't British, and to the British that we aren't Americans that we haven't had time to become Canadians.
Helen Gordon McPherson

That's exactly the reaction I got.

 

[peapod]

"Steve Yzerman should stay in Utah after what he pulled. Yzerman's knee flared up during the Olympics and now he's going to sit at home on his butt and miss games for the team and the fans who pay him his $8 million per year. What an outrage! Mario Lemieux is being lynched in Pittsburgh and it should be the same in Detroit for Yzerman."
- An irate Red Wings fan, after Yzerman and Lemieux revealed serious injuries as a result of the Olympic tournament.

"When you start a tournament, you stick with it."
- Yzerman replies.

 

[Hard-Luck Henry]

"There are too many nasty little self-centred nations in the world already; God forbid that Canada should add to the number!"

-- W.L. Grant

 

[Toro]

RE: Funny quotes about Ca

Canada could have had American industry, British democracy and French culture. Instead, Canada got British industry, French democracy and American culture.

I forget who said that.

 

[GL Schmitt]

“Canadians have an abiding interest in surprising those Americans who have historically made little effort to learn about their neighbour to the North.” ~ Peter Jennings

“The US is our trading partner, our neighbour, our ally and our friend... and sometimes we'd like to give them such a smack!” ~ Rick Mercer

“Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.” ~ Pierre E. Trudeau

“Canada has never been a melting-pot; more like a tossed salad.” ~ Arnold Edinborough

 

[Laika]

RE: Funny quotes about Ca

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." -- Britney Spears, when asked the best part of being famous.

 

[Azalie]

Re: RE: Funny quotes about Ca

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." -- Britney Spears, when asked the best part of being famous.

hahahahahahaahhahahahaha

omg, that's priceless

 

[Ocean Breeze]

Excellent stuff.........too funny. CA has the ability to laugh at itself and its follies. (that's healthy)

 

[peapod]

If you’re not annoying somebody, you’re not really alive.
Margaret Atwood - Canadian author