Who writes this crap??

[Jinentonix]

So the other week I set my cable box to record the series "Canada: The Story of Us".
I went to watch the most recent episode yesterday but the program description had me floored. Here's what it said; "A look at Canada's War of Independence, the War of 1812, that united the country and its many nationalities against the British." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Here we are, celebrating our 150th birthday in part with that series, and the program description is so incorrect it's almost offensive. It got me wondering if the cable company is hiring American half-wits to write the program descriptions because it's the only conclusion I can reach for conflating Canadian and American history.

 

[Murphy]

You have to understand that Canadians want to think that they are meaningful. We know that Canada was officially made 'Canada' in 1867. Before that, it was just a British colony. So before that, there was no country, per se. Certainly, no Canada.

Revisionists would have you believe that "Canadians" sent the Americans packing. But that would actually have been the Brits and aboriginals living on what is now considered to be our side of the border, as well as natives from the US side.

The Canadian Forces was wearing a commemorative pin a couple of years ago, recognizing 'Canada's role' in fighting the War of 1812, but as we all know, there was no Canada.
---

I should also point out that many write ups were changed, deleting 'Canada's role' or Canada's defeat of the Americans' on the Internets.

Here's a link to a Globe and Mail story that says, in part...

“This tribute (the commemorative pin - murphy) will be a daily reminder of a key chapter in Canada’s history, and of the courageous efforts made by the regular and militia soldiers, provincial marine and the aboriginal allies who helped define who we are today,” National Defence Minister Peter MacKay said.

Reads like it was 'Canadian regular and militia soldiers', but there weren't any.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news...-mark-war-of-1812-anniversary/article4428397/

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

Y'all had a war of independence? Shoot, here was me thinking y'all just negotiated to keep licking Queenie's ass forever cuz y'all were a bunch of candy-ass pansies too ball-less to take your freedom.

Guess I was wrong. I do apologize.

 

[Murphy]

It's younger generations of Canadians trying to be meaningful.

If anyone should be wearing a commemorative pin, it would be the British Forces and the aboriginal communities that were actively engaged in the border scrap back then. Of course, that's no good for publicity.

It is .5 x.5 maybe, and very cheesy looking. Everyone in uniform had to wear it. I said to some of my friends that the government would have been better off celebrating our participation in WWI, WWI, Korea, or one of the UN peacekeeping missions. At least there were Cdns involved!'

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

It's younger generations of Canadians trying to be meaningful.

Damn kids. Canadians have been meaningless for a century and a half! If it was good enough for their forbears, it's good enough for these whiny little bastards.

If anyone should be wearing a commemorative pin, it would be the British Forces and the aboriginal communities that were actively engaged in the border scrap back then. Of course, that's no good publicity.

My guys fought on your side. Can I get citizenship?

 

[Murphy]

Sure. In fact, you don't need a Canadian citizenship to cross the border. Just wander back and forth - unless you don't have a status card. Then you gotta line up with whitey.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

Sure. In fact, you don't need a Canadian citizenship to cross the border. Just wander back and forth - unless you don't have a status card. Then you gotta line up with whitey.

Ha! Like that'll happen. It's about the only damn thing my white card's good for.

Am I the only one who sees the irony in calling our tribal enrollment document a "white card?"

 

[Jinentonix]

You have to understand that Canadians want to think that they are meaningful. We know that Canada was officially made 'Canada' in 1867. Before that, it was just a British colony. So before that, there was no country, per se. Certainly, no Canada.

Revisionists would have you believe that "Canadians" sent the Americans packing. But that would actually have been the Brits and aboriginals living on what is now considered to be our side of the border, as well as natives from the US side.

The Canadian Forces was wearing a commemorative pin a couple of years ago, recognizing 'Canada's role' in fighting the War of 1812, but as we all know, there was no Canada.
---

I should also point out that many write ups were changed, deleting 'Canada's role' or Canada's defeat of the Americans' on the Internets.

Here's a link to a Globe and Mail story that says, in part...

“This tribute will be a daily reminder of a key chapter in Canada’s history, and of the courageous efforts made by the regular and militia soldiers, provincial marine and the aboriginal allies who helped define who we are today,” National Defence Minister Peter MacKay said.

Reads like it was 'Canadian regular and militia soldiers', but there weren't any.

Canadian soldiers get pins, banners to mark War of 1812 anniversary - The Globe and Mail

That's nice and all but wtf does that does that have to do with what I posted? Canada, or what was to become Canada, NEVER had a War of Independence nor did the various nationalities unite against the British. What it was, was a defining moment in our history. Despite the fact the English and French were still at war with each other in Europe, they were on the same side over here once the Americans invaded. But as a result of the War still going on with the French in Europe, there weren't a whole lot of British regulars over here. It was also around that time that the French over here started calling themselves "Canadian". So, while Canada wasn't officially a country yet, one could easily argue that the War of 1812 was a pivotal point in establishing our national identity.

Now, I understand the point you are making. Any soldiers or militia defending what was to become Canada were British, French and Native. There was no Canadian military then. However, the territories of Upper and Lower Canada had already been established by then and as I mentioned above, the American invasion was sort of the catalyst that got people in both Canadas to start referring to themselves as Canadians. So the question from a purely philosophical aspect is, were they Canadian only after the country was officially formed or were they Canadians the moment they thought of themselves as such?

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

That's nice and all but wtf does that does that have to do with what I posted? Canada, or what was to become Canada, NEVER had a War of Independence nor did the various nationalities unite against the British.

Oh, so my "candy-ass pansies" theory was correct?

I'm not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.

 

[Johnnny]

I think you should kick a field goal!!!!

 

[Jinentonix]

Y'all had a war of independence? Shoot, here was me thinking y'all just negotiated to keep licking Queenie's ass forever cuz y'all were a bunch of candy-ass pansies too ball-less to take your freedom.

Guess I was wrong. I do apologize.

Well, considering our country didn't begin with a bunch of fanatically religious "witch" burning freaks, we didn't see the need to violently cut ties with England.
And you have to consider, this country did get off pretty lucky in the non-violent formation department considering the near perpetual state of enmity there was between England and France at the time. Not that they weren't fighting with each other here for a while but the country itself wasn't forged in the crucible of fire. Which probably in part explains why despite very similar cultures and ethnic backgrounds, Canada is a far less violent country than the US, even on a per capita basis.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

I think you should kick a field goal!!!!

Don't be silly. It's basketball season. Kicking the ball is strictly prohibited.

 

[Jinentonix]

Oh, so my "candy-ass pansies" theory was correct?

I'm not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Well, the big bad country that defeated Britain to gain its independence got its a$$ handed to them by a rag-tag group of militia, Natives and a handful of British regulars when they tried to invade British North America in what can only be called a redux of the American Revolution. So I'm not really sure who the candy-ass pansies are to which you are referring.

 

[Murphy]

The point is, we didn't have a war of independence, but the government and others are suggesting that we did. Relax, I agreed with you.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

Well, the big bad country that defeated Britain to gain its independence got its a$$ handed to them by a rag-tag group of militia, Natives and a handful of British regulars when they tried to invade British North America in what can only be called a redux of the American Revolution. So I'm not really sure who the candy-ass pansies are to which you are referring.

Best not to mess with us Shawnees.

If your reading comp was above grade three, you'd easily see I was referring to the candy-ass pansies in 1867. But then your grade two math skills'd get all hung up on the difference between 1812 and 1867.

 

[EagleSmack]

Well, considering our country didn't begin with a bunch of fanatically religious "witch" burning freaks, we didn't see the need to violently cut ties with England.

Can you remind us where and when these witch burnings occurred?

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

Well, considering our country didn't begin with a bunch of fanatically religious "witch" burning freaks, we didn't see the need to violently cut ties with England.

Um. . . our country began with traders and colonists in Virginia. Jamestown, 1607.

So far you've failed reading comp, arithmetic, and history in just one thread. Pretty impressive.

 

[EagleSmack]

Well, the big bad country that defeated Britain to gain its independence got its a$$ handed to them by a rag-tag group of militia,

Ahhhh... the well documented "Canadian Militia Myth".

 

[Danbones]

God Bless America, but God help Canada to put up with them! – Anonymous

 

[Curious Cdn]

Y'all had a war of independence?

Yeah. It was the one during which Tecumseh fell that secured our independance from the USA.

Um. . . our country began with traders and colonists in Virginia. Jamestown, 1607.
.

Did they eat each other too or was it just the 1604 settlers?