Radio Roma presents,
Father Mo at the Nudist Resort
copyright 2016, Murphy
The name is Mo Murphy, Father Mo Murphy, priest for hire. No case is too difficult. Nothing is turned down. I'm the intersessionist's intersessionist. Oh, and Mo is short for Patrick.
I was standing by the bay window of my outrageuously expensive, Toronto penthouse condo, Wintermere by the Lake. Paid for by the Vatican. Nothing but the best for a priest for hire! Often, I would be naked, but heck, nobody could see me, 30 storeys up. Nooobody! (That was for my buddy Mel. He's Jewish, but we all have a cross to bear. I guess in his case it would be a Magen David.) But I digress...
Before I was ordained, I worked for a few years as a hat check at a Catholic nudist resort just outside of Rome, Pennsylvania. I know what your thinking, but it was a closed facility, built for members of the priesthood. Get your mind out of the gutter! They vacationed there to unwind and let it all hang out, but in a good way.
Both the staff and visitors went au naturel. It was the custom that no matter one's station in life, the great leveller was wearing "what the good Lord gave you". I was 16. Underaged for many things, but not being naked. My football buddies used to admire my physique, but I never realized what good a shape I was in until that summer in Rome. Especially when you work around thirty odd, celibate men. They always showered me with compliments!
My primary job was working as a hat check in the resort dining room. Oddly, they expected me to come out from behind the counter and collect all their headgear. They were really concerned with its proper care and storage. Each man would brush the top of his hat, or tell me a story about it, while their acquintances waited patiently, standing behind me in line. Despite what you read in the papers, priests are very polite and respectful.
Sometimes I would be assigned by the manager to be a room service attendant. I liked doing something different. It made a nice change from standing around the dining room.
The resort had four wings, each with a different theme. I was told by the manager to respect the biblical or historic nature of each.
There was the Inquisition Wing. You could tell they were into church history. I think it was a replica of the Spanish Inquisition, from the late 1400s. Apparently, this was the favourite part of the resort and very difficult in which to get a room. The suites and halls were torch lit, and chock full of whips, chains, leather and odd looking beds. Very medieval looking! The priests would dress as their favourite Inquisitor, sporting wide leather belts, masks and usually carried a whip or cowhide baton.
The next most popular wing was Praetorium Conventus, which, loosely translated means Convent Hall. I never got the chance to check that area out though. It was being remodelled. Occasionally, we'd see young nuns using a side entrance to the area. I know that I shouldn't say this, but they always got my attention. They were not much older than I, and we weren't allowed to speak to them. Apparently, they took a vow of silence.
The Aqua Wing was always full in the summer. There were several spas, massage rooms and swimming pools. The clergy have always been great admirers of art. This wing featured dozens of full size, marble statues - what they called classical sculpture - of naked men and boys. They were very common sights in ancient Greece and Rome.
The last section was called the Furrie Wing. It was the oddest area in which to work, and I don't know where they got that name. They must have been nature lovers though. No one spoke, but would bark, meow or growl according to which animal they were dressed as. They all wore animal masks, gloves that looked like paws, and some even sported a tail! Yeah, it looked strange, but apart from rubbing their fur on you, they were the best behaved of all the guests.
It was that summer in Rome that convinced me to join the priesthood, and I haven't looked back!
Father Mo at the Nudist Resort
copyright 2016, Murphy
The name is Mo Murphy, Father Mo Murphy, priest for hire. No case is too difficult. Nothing is turned down. I'm the intersessionist's intersessionist. Oh, and Mo is short for Patrick.
I was standing by the bay window of my outrageuously expensive, Toronto penthouse condo, Wintermere by the Lake. Paid for by the Vatican. Nothing but the best for a priest for hire! Often, I would be naked, but heck, nobody could see me, 30 storeys up. Nooobody! (That was for my buddy Mel. He's Jewish, but we all have a cross to bear. I guess in his case it would be a Magen David.) But I digress...
Before I was ordained, I worked for a few years as a hat check at a Catholic nudist resort just outside of Rome, Pennsylvania. I know what your thinking, but it was a closed facility, built for members of the priesthood. Get your mind out of the gutter! They vacationed there to unwind and let it all hang out, but in a good way.
Both the staff and visitors went au naturel. It was the custom that no matter one's station in life, the great leveller was wearing "what the good Lord gave you". I was 16. Underaged for many things, but not being naked. My football buddies used to admire my physique, but I never realized what good a shape I was in until that summer in Rome. Especially when you work around thirty odd, celibate men. They always showered me with compliments!
My primary job was working as a hat check in the resort dining room. Oddly, they expected me to come out from behind the counter and collect all their headgear. They were really concerned with its proper care and storage. Each man would brush the top of his hat, or tell me a story about it, while their acquintances waited patiently, standing behind me in line. Despite what you read in the papers, priests are very polite and respectful.
Sometimes I would be assigned by the manager to be a room service attendant. I liked doing something different. It made a nice change from standing around the dining room.
The resort had four wings, each with a different theme. I was told by the manager to respect the biblical or historic nature of each.
There was the Inquisition Wing. You could tell they were into church history. I think it was a replica of the Spanish Inquisition, from the late 1400s. Apparently, this was the favourite part of the resort and very difficult in which to get a room. The suites and halls were torch lit, and chock full of whips, chains, leather and odd looking beds. Very medieval looking! The priests would dress as their favourite Inquisitor, sporting wide leather belts, masks and usually carried a whip or cowhide baton.
The next most popular wing was Praetorium Conventus, which, loosely translated means Convent Hall. I never got the chance to check that area out though. It was being remodelled. Occasionally, we'd see young nuns using a side entrance to the area. I know that I shouldn't say this, but they always got my attention. They were not much older than I, and we weren't allowed to speak to them. Apparently, they took a vow of silence.
The Aqua Wing was always full in the summer. There were several spas, massage rooms and swimming pools. The clergy have always been great admirers of art. This wing featured dozens of full size, marble statues - what they called classical sculpture - of naked men and boys. They were very common sights in ancient Greece and Rome.
The last section was called the Furrie Wing. It was the oddest area in which to work, and I don't know where they got that name. They must have been nature lovers though. No one spoke, but would bark, meow or growl according to which animal they were dressed as. They all wore animal masks, gloves that looked like paws, and some even sported a tail! Yeah, it looked strange, but apart from rubbing their fur on you, they were the best behaved of all the guests.
It was that summer in Rome that convinced me to join the priesthood, and I haven't looked back!
