Why do we depend on others?

[talloola]

You are so right Talloola. We are not your age yet but I know that fearful feeling. I feel it everytime my husband says something like "I have a pain in my chest". I show a calm exterior but, inside I am terrified. My Mom died at age 61 and my Dad eight years before her. Now that we are in our 60's I fully realize that it really is a fact that in a heartbeat (or lack thereof)one of us could be gone. I am the stronger one of the two of us. I don't think my husband will handle it well if I go first. We have been together longer than either of us ever spent with our parents or anyone else. My husband's sister thinks she knows him better than I do, yet he has hardly been in her company at all for over 45 years! A week now and again every few years or maybe even just a couple of days. She is a controlling person. She controlled every facet of her husband's life. After he died, 10 yrs. ago, she is lost. She is not lost because she lost a soul mate but because now there is no one she can control. I think that's more sad than feeling the loss itself. I don't think any relationship is complete unless you can be yourself and your partner can be themselves. Great together and great apart.
In the past year or so, my husband has started working the midnight to 8:00 AM shift. First time in about 30 years or so that I have had to sleep alone. Oddly enough, I think it's good for me and for him. He doesn't sleep at night without me of course but he comes home, goes to bed and I go to work. It's about the same feeling. I think you have to be able to handle the fact that one day that's what your life will be. One day one of us won't walk through the door ever again.
MIT - we missed you too. Nice to see you back.

Yeah, our lives have gone on together for almost 51 years now, we met
each other when I was 13 and he was 14, went steady for most of that time
as well, so it's as though we have been together all of our lives. We do everything together, and yes, now that we are older we have to face the fact
that it isn't going to be forever, too bad, but that's the facts. My husband used
to work the midnight shift for years, he would come home, then the kids
would get up, off to school, and he off to bed, and I was a stay at home mom,
so we had some of the day together, got used to it.
We depend on each other a lot, but I still step back from this life from time
to time, and talk to 'myself', because someday I might be by myself, and I have
to figure that out, we can't depend on others all the time, we have to depend
on ourselves, 'be our own best friend', from time to time.
He has had lots of problems with his body throughout our lives, back surgerys,
heart surgery, hip replacement, and treatments, and I know the fear that goes
through one at those times, the thought of losing that person so close to you
is frightening, but he is still here, and doing great, so on we go.