At the end of this conversation, if indeed it is the end, and I hope it is, for I am distressed and perplexed, my most concrete concern is expressed toward God himself, a longing for an answer to the question, why, oh God, won't you save these people, for I compare as the worst among them, the least worthy!? Of all the men and women in this conversation, I am convinced that I am the most wretched, the least worthy, the greatest sinner, the most deserving of hell.
Why does L Gilbert look at a tree, and remain blind to God? Why does he say, “I can't remember any mercy shown to those who crossed [God's] path” when he's engaged in a conversation with me, the unrighteous, to whom God has shown mercy? To David, the murdering adulterer? This David God declared righteous!
Why do the people in this forum, on the one hand, complain because there are no eyewitnesses declaring the truths of God; then, when we discuss eyewitnesses, a complaint against eyewitness testimony rises? Why are your hearts hardened and determined against God no matter what He presents? As Christ said, when we sang a funeral song, you did not mourn; when we sang a celebration song, you did not dance – what do you want? You resist Him at every turn! You stubborn, hardhearted people!
But the answer to my anguish is, not surprisingly, in the scripture – which answers all my questions, as my reliable guide. Here's the real answer to my seeming complaint against God: It is God's purpose of election – the sovereignty of His choice, though I complain, and though a voice says, “Is God unjust?”
God said to Moses in Exodus 33: “I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.” I don't want it to be that. I want to trump God and tell Him to choose all these people. But He is God. That's the biggest problem. He is God, and nobody else is, and so the rebellious feel justified in their rebellion, and the justified feel like rebelling from their justification.
After all is said, He remains the potter – and you hate that, though you would not exist if He had not gifted you life and time – yet you refuse to thank Him – you rather use the voice He gave you to blaspheme him – and I wanted to peer into his sovereign choice, which I cannot understand, nor was it mine to understand. I had to decide that it belongs to him, not me. I said, “this is unfair, God,” but then I was silenced when I realized that even less fair was his mercy on me. What did he owe me? He would be justified to harden my heart by simply letting me go where I want to go.
By nature, we rebel against the concept of God acting out of His own good pleasure, as if He were not even our Creator and the King of kings. Does God bear with you ultimately so that His glory will be made more known? Or, will he yet descend on you in mercy and overtake your lives, ripping you from the grasp your father, who is the father of lies, your master who you unwittingly serve while bragging of freedom?
I have hope for all of you, because I'm a worse man than you, and God has decided to call “my people” those who were not his people (see Hosea 2:23; 1 Peter 2:10). I beg you, do not stumble, do not be offended. Believe in him. My prayers are there, if your heart is not.
