The hunt for oil or Manifest Destiny in the new millenium?

CDNBear

Custom Troll
Sep 24, 2006
43,839
207
63
Ontario
A large American exploration company finds a huge deposit of oil in a little backward country called Tajikistan. That exploration company secures the rights to this deposit with large sums of aid and money supplied by their friends in the American Government.

Now the big problem. Tajikistan is kind of tucked up tight in between China, a couple other "Stan" countries that border on countries that don't like American oil companies and China.

"Wow, we found a lot of oil, but how do we get it out of here to a country that is friendly with us, that has ports?" They asked themselves.

They can't go through China, they'll want a huge chunk of the oil for themselves. If they go west they'll end up in Iran. That dog don't hunt. But what about Pakistan? It's right there, but they'll have to do a lil pipe line through the northerm most tip of Afganistan to get to Pakistan and her ports.

Well hang on a minute. Didn't some of these guy's friends help out the Taliban against the ol' Ruskies?
Surely they'll let us build a lil ol' pipe line through some un cared for Opium fields. So off they went, to ask the Taliban.

"Say Mr. Tliban can we build a pipe line?" They asked with a song in their heart.

They offered money, aid, weapons and all sorts of stuff. To which the Taliban, who all remembered what happend after the Ruskies left and these oil execs buddies in America, left them and their country, high and dry, said. "Get out, you American pig dogs!!"

This did not sit well with the big oil execs, who made several calls to their buddies back home to see what could be done. Kind of like back in the Banana wars in South America.

The buds back home thought long and hard about this one. If they couldn't pump it out to Pakistan, They would lose their rights to it and China would get it. That wouldn't do. It would boost their economy and help them out greatly, they couldn't have that at all, at all.

The big oil execs, left their troubles in the hands of their buds in the States and went back to playing golf and artificially raising gas prices through speculation trading.

Way out east in D.C. their buds were hard at work. keeping the homeland safe from the bad guys. In the process, they come across some scary intel, that an old buddy of theirs is planning an attack on them again.

They take this intel, and anylise it to death and weight the odds and see what would happen if they sat back and allowed the attacks to happen. Why, you ask. Well this old buddy that's kinda ticked at the States is none other then Osama Bin Laden, and he resides in...you guessed it,,, Afganistan.

Well, they crunched the numbers and for the cost of a few hundred lives, max a thousand give or take a hundred. They would have their pipe line and a brand spankin' new puppet state to go along with it.

9/12...

"Oh ****!!! What have we done? Who crunched these numbers? Somebody's head is gunna roll for this one, I tellya what." Was the cry's from the Oval office, the home of the big oil execs best buddy.

"Weren't them there buildin's upposedda witstand a hit from a big ol' plane?" The big oil execs buddy asked his advisors.

"Well, um, well, um you see sir, ummm, well." was all they could utter.

"Well, for my next act, we better put the fix on this quick, as in a Texas minute boys!" Said their ilustrious leader. Right before he hit the TV screen with tears in his eyes and told the world, he would have revenge.

Horse hockey pucks you say? The construction started in 2002, in a lil town called Murgab, Tajikistan. The final destination, Lasht, Pakistan. Right across the northern most finger of Afganistan.
 
Last edited: