Being officially retired for three years next month (though off for 2 years before that), I LIKE THIS!:
Retirement FAQ's
Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many retirees to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all week.
Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. Eat, nap, Internet, play with the cat, "have-a-brew-and-look-at-the-view".... There is just not enough time to get everything done.
Q. Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
A. The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.
Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.
Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A. NUTS!
Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal
Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never ending Coffee Break.
Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Retirement FAQ's
Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many retirees to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all week.
Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. Eat, nap, Internet, play with the cat, "have-a-brew-and-look-at-the-view".... There is just not enough time to get everything done.
Q. Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
A. The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.
Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.
Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A. NUTS!
Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal
Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never ending Coffee Break.
Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
That's just what I tell all the guys I used to work with..anyway,it's the truth,too.