To some degree, I grieve for you Rev, and for every other person who thinks math sucks or who sucks at math (same thing, really). It's a fascinating and wonderful subject, one of the greatest inventions of human intelligence, but bad teachers and bad experiences poison it for too many. And it's really not that difficult if it's properly explained. It's a logical whole and the basics are readily available to anyone with a three-digit IQ. I see now that I was really fortunate in high school to be blessed with some very gifted teachers who gave me the basics, and the confidence and the techniques necessary to make sense of the harder stuff I encountered in university. Roses upon their heads...
How easy is it really? Well, here's the basics of calculus: There are two unfamiliar symbols in calculus, a lower case d and an upper case elongated S that I can't quite reproduce in the character set available here, so I'll just use S. The d means "a little bit of," and the S means "the sum of." So, the characters dx or dy mean a little bit of x or a little bit of y, whatever x or y may be, doesn't matter. Thus Sdx means the sum of all the little bits of x, which obviously must add up to x. So now we know that Sdx=x, which in essence is the fundamental theorem of calculus. How hard was that? All the little bits of something add up to all of it. Could anything be more obvious? But the teachers--and the mathematicians--surround it with jargon and formalism, none of which is really necessary to understand the heart of it. The heart of it, in fact, is intuitively obvious if it's explained clearly and stripped of its mathematician's formalism.
And by the way Andygal, congratulations on your achievement. I meant to put that in my first post in this thread, but I got distracted by the notion that math sucks. It doesn't. Some math teachers suck, which leads their unfortunate students to think math sucks, but they're wrong. They'll drill you with pointless repetition of exercises, and whoever thought that was a good way to teach anything ought to be shot and pissed on from a great height. You'll either get it with one example, or you won't get it at all, which means the teacher hasn't taught it well.