Hilariously Pathetic New Phone scam.

Jinentonix

Executive Branch Member
Sep 6, 2015
8,894
2,854
113
Olympus Mons
So I'm sitting at my computer yesterday when the phone rings. There's an automated message saying the CBSA has an arrest warrant out for you after Canada Post intercepted a package with your info containing "illegal elements".
First off, if it was mailed within Canada the CBSA would have nothing to do with it. Second, if it was intercepted at the border Canada Post would have had nothing to with it.

So I pushed 1 to have some fun. Some goof answers saying "Thank you for calling the CBSA". I said I didn't call you, you called me". The goof replies with, "Thank you, bye bye". To which I responded, "Fuck you, Paki."

I don't even know wtf the point of the scam was.
 

Dixie Cup

House Member
Sep 16, 2006
3,706
1,480
113
Edmonton
Yes, we get calls like that all the time.

Especially having to do with CRA and that somehow, cops were on the way to arrest me if I don't respond immediately to the call. Another one is that my SIN (this is one we get a lot of) has been compromised so I needed to talk to whomever it was calling me - I hung up again & blocked the call - these are both really funny altho' I did take the second one a little more seriously. But I checked with various parties (CRA, Equafax, etc) and nothing showed that anything personal has been compromised. I've received several calls since and simply hung up. I block each call but there's always another one. And finally, another one we get, not as often tho', is that my "excessive" credit card debt needed to be discussed. Since I don't have credit card debt I know that one especially is a scam.

The CRA one really made me chuckle because for 18 years I worked at a company where I needed access to CRA, spoke to them often and did literally thousands of tax returns so I know of what I speak. I had a large medical claim on my 2020 taxes, I expected (and had) a call for an audit. I expected it because a few years ago, we also had a large medical claim and my husband was audited so I expected the same.

Just on Thursday of last week I received an email to check My Account on-line for a letter. It said that all our medical receipts were accepted as filed and everything was ok.

We used to get the emails from the Nigerian Prince but I guess those have gone the way of the dodo bird. ;)
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
45,499
723
113
Washington DC
So I'm sitting at my computer yesterday when the phone rings. There's an automated message saying the CBSA has an arrest warrant out for you after Canada Post intercepted a package with your info containing "illegal elements".
First off, if it was mailed within Canada the CBSA would have nothing to do with it. Second, if it was intercepted at the border Canada Post would have had nothing to with it.

So I pushed 1 to have some fun. Some goof answers saying "Thank you for calling the CBSA". I said I didn't call you, you called me". The goof replies with, "Thank you, bye bye". To which I responded, "Fuck you, Paki."

I don't even know wtf the point of the scam was.
We've had that one for a few years. Usually claim to be the Internal Revenue Service (the taxman) with an arrest warrant.

One told me "the constables" were already on the way to my place. I said "Better send some marshals with 'em."

Constables.
 

Jinentonix

Executive Branch Member
Sep 6, 2015
8,894
2,854
113
Olympus Mons
We've had that one for a few years. Usually claim to be the Internal Revenue Service (the taxman) with an arrest warrant.

One told me "the constables" were already on the way to my place. I said "Better send some marshals with 'em."

Constables.
Oh yeah, we've had the Revenue Canada (the taxman) one going for a while too. This latest one is just a variation of the scheme. The Revenue Canada one was actually pretty funny. They left a message and number to call back. Well, I got free long distance calling to anywhere in Canada and the number they gave me had an Ottawa switch in it, (A switch is the 1st three digits of your phone# after the area code) so I called them. It was pretty funny. After quickly establishing they WEREN'T Revenue Canada (yeah, like I thought it was them in the 1st place) I decided to have some fun with that free long distance. I harassed the fuck out them. Burping loudly, calling them racist names and questioning the profession of their mothers before finally contacting the RCMP with the number.
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
45,499
723
113
Washington DC
Oh yeah, we've had the Revenue Canada (the taxman) one going for a while too. This latest one is just a variation of the scheme. The Revenue Canada one was actually pretty funny. They left a message and number to call back. Well, I got free long distance calling to anywhere in Canada and the number they gave me had an Ottawa switch in it, (A switch is the 1st three digits of your phone# after the area code) so I called them. It was pretty funny. After quickly establishing they WEREN'T Revenue Canada (yeah, like I thought it was them in the 1st place) I decided to have some fun with that free long distance. I harassed the fuck out them. Burping loudly, calling them racist names and questioning the profession of their mothers before finally contacting the RCMP with the number.
Actually, the phone numbers are the same. We're all under the North American Numbering Plan.

With all the new names, I just translate "Whatever Canada" by knocking off "Canada" and putting "Department of. . ." in front of "Whatever." Generally gets me close enough to figure out what the heck they're talking about.

I'm considering a second career as a Canadian/U.S.ian interpreter.
 
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Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
9,672
213
63
Regina, SK
Yeah, I've had 'em all, Border Services with a parcel of contraband addressed to me, debts to the revenuers I'd better pay immediately, foreign princes or diplomats trying to move money out of a third world country, unusual charges on my credit card I need to verify, warrants have been issued for my arrest, police are on the way, etc. I think my favourite is the guy claiming to be from Microsoft or some Microsoft partner who tells me my computer is infested with viruses and is causing errors on their servers. Usually I just hang up, but sometimes I'm feeling playful and a bit mean so I let him continue his spiel for a while just to see what the scam actually is. It's really just an attempt to get a credit card number from you and plant some spyware on you. He'll offer to clean up your computer, for a fee of course, if you'll go to a certain web site and install the app found there. The scam's getting a little more sophisticated lately though. Time was he'd claim to know it's your computer from the IP address, now if you press him a bit he'll claim to know it's your computer because of the licensing code associated with the copy of Windows you're running. He knows what the code is and will tell you how to get your system to display it while he reels it off to you, so you can verify that he's telling the truth. Except he's not of course. He'll talk you through getting a command prompt and entering the "assoc" command, and near the end of the listing that results is the line ".zfsendtotarget=CLSID\{888DCA60-FC0A-11CF-8F0F-00C04FD7D062}" which he'll tell you is your Computer Licensing System IDentifier or some such tripe.

If you right click on a file name in Windows Explorer you'll get a menu of actions you can do with it, one of which is "Send to" that'll give you a list of places you can put that file. The list of places is stored in that CLSID (class identifier) in the registry and it's the same on every system. The assoc command just gives you a list of file associations the system knows about, so that if you double click on a certain file type the system will know what application to use to open it.

But I always know anyone telling me my Windows computer is causing problems is lying, because I use Linux.
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
45,499
723
113
Washington DC
Yeah, I've had 'em all, Border Services with a parcel of contraband addressed to me, debts to the revenuers I'd better pay immediately, foreign princes or diplomats trying to move money out of a third world country, unusual charges on my credit card I need to verify, warrants have been issued for my arrest, police are on the way, etc. I think my favourite is the guy claiming to be from Microsoft or some Microsoft partner who tells me my computer is infested with viruses and is causing errors on their servers. Usually I just hang up, but sometimes I'm feeling playful and a bit mean so I let him continue his spiel for a while just to see what the scam actually is. It's really just an attempt to get a credit card number from you and plant some spyware on you. He'll offer to clean up your computer, for a fee of course, if you'll go to a certain web site and install the app found there. The scam's getting a little more sophisticated lately though. Time was he'd claim to know it's your computer from the IP address, now if you press him a bit he'll claim to know it's your computer because of the licensing code associated with the copy of Windows you're running. He knows what the code is and will tell you how to get your system to display it while he reels it off to you, so you can verify that he's telling the truth. Except he's not of course. He'll talk you through getting a command prompt and entering the "assoc" command, and near the end of the listing that results is the line ".zfsendtotarget=CLSID\{888DCA60-FC0A-11CF-8F0F-00C04FD7D062}" which he'll tell you is your Computer Licensing System IDentifier or some such tripe.

If you right click on a file name in Windows Explorer you'll get a menu of actions you can do with it, one of which is "Send to" that'll give you a list of places you can put that file. The list of places is stored in that CLSID (class identifier) in the registry and it's the same on every system. The assoc command just gives you a list of file associations the system knows about, so that if you double click on a certain file type the system will know what application to use to open it.

But I always know anyone telling me my Windows computer is causing problems is lying, because I use Linux.
Dex, you are a blessing in my life.

I hope you're well.
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
45,499
723
113
Washington DC
Yes I am well, or as well as I could reasonably expect to be at my age, though I think my basketball playing days are over, and I hope you are too.
Yeah, other than finally having let go of my long-held goal of playing for the Ravens, I'm OK.

Your sanity shines through, bro. I know that is, in itself, all the reward you need, but I thought it worth expressing my admiration.
 

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
9,672
213
63
Regina, SK
Appreciation is always appreciated. :) You do pretty well in the sanity department yourself, the few people like you here are all that keeps me coming back.
 

IdRatherBeSkiing

Satelitte Radio Addict
May 28, 2007
13,177
947
113
Toronto, ON
Yes, we get calls like that all the time.

Especially having to do with CRA and that somehow, cops were on the way to arrest me if I don't respond immediately to the call. Another one is that my SIN (this is one we get a lot of) has been compromised so I needed to talk to whomever it was calling me - I hung up again & blocked the call - these are both really funny altho' I did take the second one a little more seriously. But I checked with various parties (CRA, Equafax, etc) and nothing showed that anything personal has been compromised. I've received several calls since and simply hung up. I block each call but there's always another one. And finally, another one we get, not as often tho', is that my "excessive" credit card debt needed to be discussed. Since I don't have credit card debt I know that one especially is a scam.

The CRA one really made me chuckle because for 18 years I worked at a company where I needed access to CRA, spoke to them often and did literally thousands of tax returns so I know of what I speak. I had a large medical claim on my 2020 taxes, I expected (and had) a call for an audit. I expected it because a few years ago, we also had a large medical claim and my husband was audited so I expected the same.

Just on Thursday of last week I received an email to check My Account on-line for a letter. It said that all our medical receipts were accepted as filed and everything was ok.

We used to get the emails from the Nigerian Prince but I guess those have gone the way of the dodo bird. ;)
Usually the numbers they are calling from are fake. Somehow the phone system allows this hack. I've had people call me asking why I have been calling them. They probably used your number as the source for their next call.
 

Twin_Moose

Hall of Fame Member
Apr 17, 2017
18,401
4,148
113
Twin Moose Creek
Yeah, I've had 'em all, Border Services with a parcel of contraband addressed to me, debts to the revenuers I'd better pay immediately, foreign princes or diplomats trying to move money out of a third world country, unusual charges on my credit card I need to verify, warrants have been issued for my arrest, police are on the way, etc. I think my favourite is the guy claiming to be from Microsoft or some Microsoft partner who tells me my computer is infested with viruses and is causing errors on their servers. Usually I just hang up, but sometimes I'm feeling playful and a bit mean so I let him continue his spiel for a while just to see what the scam actually is. It's really just an attempt to get a credit card number from you and plant some spyware on you. He'll offer to clean up your computer, for a fee of course, if you'll go to a certain web site and install the app found there. The scam's getting a little more sophisticated lately though. Time was he'd claim to know it's your computer from the IP address, now if you press him a bit he'll claim to know it's your computer because of the licensing code associated with the copy of Windows you're running. He knows what the code is and will tell you how to get your system to display it while he reels it off to you, so you can verify that he's telling the truth. Except he's not of course. He'll talk you through getting a command prompt and entering the "assoc" command, and near the end of the listing that results is the line ".zfsendtotarget=CLSID\{888DCA60-FC0A-11CF-8F0F-00C04FD7D062}" which he'll tell you is your Computer Licensing System IDentifier or some such tripe.

If you right click on a file name in Windows Explorer you'll get a menu of actions you can do with it, one of which is "Send to" that'll give you a list of places you can put that file. The list of places is stored in that CLSID (class identifier) in the registry and it's the same on every system. The assoc command just gives you a list of file associations the system knows about, so that if you double click on a certain file type the system will know what application to use to open it.

But I always know anyone telling me my Windows computer is causing problems is lying, because I use Linux.
I usually just ask them which one of mine or my family's computers hooked up to this private network it was, that throws them for a loop and a hang up
 
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DaSleeper

Trolling Hypocrites
May 27, 2007
33,257
1,407
113
Northern Ontario,
What I usually do since I have unlimited send and receive in in Canada, is tell whoever the telemarketer is
I tell him or her.....oh hang on a minute, someone is at the door and put the open phone near the TV
And wait, keeping an eye on my smart watch to see how long they stay on the line....
The longest I've seen is about 5 minutes......
 

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
9,672
213
63
Regina, SK
I usually just ask them which one of mine or my family's computers hooked up to this private network it was, that throws them for a loop and a hang up
That's my usual approach too, "How do you know it's my computer?" and the response used to be some reference to how my IP address identifies me. Then I'd ask how they got from my IP address to my phone number, because unless they've hacked my ISP's customer database they can't possibly make that connection. Besides, the only IP address available to them is the public one that the router my ISP supplied uses on their side, they can't know anything about which of the machines on my side of the router is involved, they're all on a private network with IP addresses that aren't routable outside it, and are in fact duplicated on millions of private home networks. And if you're at all concerned about such things, go to Gibson Research, www.grc.com, and run the ShieldsUp test there, it'll tell you how secure your home network is.