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Whiny li'l bitch, that Portnoy. . .

Everybody's doing a brand-new dance, now Come on baby, do the polar-motion I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now Come on baby, do the polar-motion My little baby sister can do it with me It's easier than learning your A-B-C So come on, come on, do the polar-motion with me...

Go with the Epic of Gilgamesh. None of those tedious "Thou shalt not have fun" rules. And hard to beat for "old."

But. . . but. . . he's got this fairly old book!

Heck, yeah! The part where they led your servants and favourite animals into your tomb and killed 'em was pretty cool.

I hear his cat died. Well, maybe. . .

In my experience of crows, they're smarter than the large majority of 40-year-old humans. Australian researchers have clocked the IQs of crows as high as 70. In the U.S., with an IQ of 70, you can vote.

If Allah did exist, it would be hard to imagine a god more negligent, petty, and cruel.

Not sure it does, in most folk.

And suddenly you believe them.

You know Joe is killing it when all the cons can piss and moan about is Hunter, and do incessantly.

“Having faith is believing in something you just know ain't true.” ― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

You know you're bitter when you attack a 14-year-old child. Stay classy.

Looks trans.

Have no fear. There will be lawsuits.

Well, except for Old Fred and the Boob.

Aw, hell. . . I was hoping they were ALL Brits.

Looks like he started to, but got called away to do something princely before he finished.

In the NHL? Make it kinda hard to figure out who's on which team if they all wore whatever they felt like, wouldn't it?

Picture Sergeant Preston, Constable Fraser, and Paul Bunyan bursting in to put things right with a few well-thrown Canadian uppercuts. . .