Sex between American men and women should be casual and anonymous...reverse cowgirl style so they don't have to look each other in the eyes.
Beyonce: Feminist roll model
- Thread starter Walter
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Sex between American men and women should be casual and anonymous...reverse cowgirl style so they don't have to look each other in the eyes.
The BS is not in my court. No one said sex in relationships has to be boring or not fun. It seems if someone says sex is meant for committed relationships many people jump to a conclusion that sex is not longer fun. Farthest from the truth for many.
Regardless - The content of Beyonces lyrics say otherwise. The comment is about the denigrating nature of sexuality in her lyrics - if some others are not aware, that is just another concern about the state of our society.
How about we discuss if we wish our little girls or boys to start acting out like Beyonce suggests. Or to teach them about a form of "recreational sex" and what the hell is that anyway? Don't answer if your intention is to describe one night stands as recreational sex.
Hold your baby girl or granddaughter in your arms and decide to teach her about "recreational sex" I bet you can't and if you can, that is a problem.
I can bet that many people who think they are having "recreational sex" will be surprised when their partner was not on the same page. Especially if that "recreation" turns into a baby coming into the world.
I don't advocate casual sex with one time only or many partners. Yes, to find the one to marry or be in long term relationship, sometimes experiencing people in relationships that include sex happens before one finds true love. That is not what I am talking about here.
Having sex with a regular or committed partner is trust, faith, concern for the other, and means no one gets "used". And passion can exist in those relationships, it might actually mean a bit of work for people to keep things spiced up. But sex is not the only thing in life that is important and to make it so, says a lot about our society and why we are on earth. It is a part of life, essential for many, but surprisingly enough it is NOT a right, it is NOT a law. Unless one is married of course conjugal relations is expected with respect to the other's health and needs.
Foremost, I know children who came to the world without knowing their father - as well as read the stats on that. And many women do not realize they want to keep a baby - if they get pregnant. I also know enough who got pregnant on the pill. So where is the recreation? then. Having SEX means being responsible if a baby might get made from that sexual encounter. That is NOT a fun life and nothing "recreational" about that for the many "fatherless" children. That is only one problem with thinking one can just have recreational sex without repercussions or responsibilities.
Our society is full of the fallout of "recreational sex mentality". Beyonce's lyrics prove how far people sink. Denigrating lyrics about bodies or a form of using people and the idea that is what life is all about, is a problem. Wonder why we seem to have a cast off throw away society?
Btw, when I hear the concept of "recreational sex". It is worse than going to an employer and saying I only want the paycheck, but don't want to work for it.
Having sex always means, each and every time a baby could be potentially made. So each time when choosing a partner to be intimate with should be something one asks themself - could I marry this person, could I raise a child with this person, am I ready to be a mother or father.
All those people and they number in the 10's of 1000's can tell you they got pregnant on the pill or it was our first and only time. Sigh.
No true thing as "recreational sex". And if one thinks so........hmmmm.
Good thing you said American and not Canadian.
Sex is enjoyable, just like skiing, playing board games, or having a pizza. I see no reason why it should be kept to a loving relationship if that isn't the wish of the people involved.
Anyway, Beyonce is a songwriter so she likely put her thoughts into this tune. That she'll make money with the tune is irrelevant. I became a firefighter because I loved it. That I got paid for doing it was good for me, too, and there's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people have jobs they like doing and get paid for them.
Anyway, Beyonce is a songwriter so she likely put her thoughts into this tune. That she'll make money with the tune is irrelevant. I became a firefighter because I loved it. That I got paid for doing it was good for me, too, and there's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people have jobs they like doing and get paid for them.
Oh where oh where to begin. I guess at the begining would be a good place.
That's right, no one did, including me. For some, monogamy is the cats meow, for others, it's not.
You find it degrading because you can't see past your judeo-christian prejudices.
It could be described as "one night stands". It can also be described as a swinging lifestyle, hedonism. All the things that you abhor because you have that long stick stuck up your a$$.
You are one sick fu ck. That is about all I can say to this one. You teach babies sex?
Personally, I have taught my kids not to be judgemental about what consenting Adults choose to do in privacy.
You have no idea, yet here you are pontificating about what is right and what is wrong.
No shyte Sherlock, I would never have guessed.
Ok............ no argument there....... but that has nothing what so ever to do with "recreational sex".
Really, expected eh. Interesting. I'm seeing either a Christian fundy or a Muslim fundy. which is it?
Yup, I know many also. Can't think of any from the Swinging lifestyle. None from the LGBT community I know.....all from "committed heterosexuals".
wrong, try again.
No!!!! really? You don't say. Amazing stuff.:roll:
That's only because you have a closed mind. You are, what used to be called, a prude.
Yup, and movies and songs are not necessarily about real life.
That's right, no one did, including me. For some, monogamy is the cats meow, for others, it's not.
You find it degrading because you can't see past your judeo-christian prejudices.
It could be described as "one night stands". It can also be described as a swinging lifestyle, hedonism. All the things that you abhor because you have that long stick stuck up your a$$.
You are one sick fu ck. That is about all I can say to this one. You teach babies sex?
Personally, I have taught my kids not to be judgemental about what consenting Adults choose to do in privacy.
You have no idea, yet here you are pontificating about what is right and what is wrong.
No shyte Sherlock, I would never have guessed.
Ok............ no argument there....... but that has nothing what so ever to do with "recreational sex".
Really, expected eh. Interesting. I'm seeing either a Christian fundy or a Muslim fundy. which is it?
Yup, I know many also. Can't think of any from the Swinging lifestyle. None from the LGBT community I know.....all from "committed heterosexuals".
wrong, try again.
No!!!! really? You don't say. Amazing stuff.:roll:
That's only because you have a closed mind. You are, what used to be called, a prude.
Yup, and movies and songs are not necessarily about real life.
First you owe me an apology for your insults. Normally I would not respond when someone disintegrates their replies to such ignorance. If you disagree? So What? And my points are not directed at you personally, but a general sweep of the concept of no consequences in "recreational sex". If it seemed otherwise, that certainly is not intended. Your insults are totally uncalled for in this exchange or any exchange. But I will respond this time and expect an apology, in addition to no continued such attacks on me. Otherwise I will not remain in a discussion with anyone who tries such tactics.
As for the gist of your attempt at responding to my points.
Wow. Wow. I might just conclude that you saying one should be ashamed of keeping healthy sexual practices? That we have babies in a relationship where the father knows he is the father and stands by the family is somehow inferior to free for all sex life? That is how I interpret your insults. And maybe many of us actually enjoy sex and have good stable lives where we don't have to worry about STD's or the casual sex life mode. We are not a drain on healthcare for being irresponsible in our sex lifestyles. And remember SEX is NOT a RIGHT. Sex in a marriage is a right. Seeing as you rankled at the legal word in Canada - conjugal relations. My children were taught about babies first - simple books - in an age appropriate manner - then about reproductive cycles and sex after age 10 between age 15. The most important of which sex is for couples who love each other and for enjoyment, as well as making babies. And that a baby could potentially be made each and every time a fertile couple has sex.
Do you know what true fundamentalist religionists observance really is. I am farthest from fundamentalist Christian, I belong to a church that welcomes LBGT people and where women, along with men are Reverends and more than I can discuss on here is a good Church and progressive. My personal view is that the Old Testament should be an archival book and should never be followed literally. And in fact, other than some few nuggets of wisdom in some parts, is impossible to follow literally. The New Testament about Jesus is quite a good guide if people bother to read it.
It is also up to you to disprove the stats that say otherwise of the huge fallout of "recreational sex attitudes". And "wrong" does not cut it. According to Canadian Government sources: see links below. Assimilation of that information tells us there is a lot of irresponsible "recreational sex" going on.
- 100,000+ never married mothers give birth - per year in Canada. Aprox. 30000+ more are registered as "not stated".
- Approximately 1/3 of the children being born each year in this country will need OUR (tax payers, church ministries and community) support at one time or the other - many times due to "recreational sex".
- 200,000+ births are to married (common law) couples.
- 67000+ (those figures are higher if including Quebec) and more are using abortion most times as method of birth control.
- There is a percentage of women who have used abortion - end up sterile and mourn the loss of their reproductive capability. While sometimes "abortion" may be necessary, it certainly should NOT be necessary, or at most RARE, if people are being SMART about their sex life.
In addition STD's are rising rampantly. So what the hell good is a condom for? or being conscious of who one sleeps with? When we have to deal with people saying we can do what we want and others are prudes if they don't believe in "recreational sex". Two issues with "sleeping with too many people" much higher and more rapid rates of transmission of sexual diseases - we are almost in an epidemic with 60-70% more cases than ever.
- Those who have babies without resources are use money from our medical system and many on welfare systems or community supports of some kind (food banks etc)- STD's are a drain on our health system - tax dollar funded for the most part.
So, that means we get to have a STRONG OPINION about "recreational sex". Should one then assess some of the root of these problems for preventative measures. YOU BET!
Two more Questions for you:
1. So it seems the sexual saturation of society might want to see wee daughter's know that recreational sex is o.k. Beyonce's lyrics suggest this - and if one does not see the harm in children, tweens listening to that dribble, then they essentially are advocating telling daughters that they should get ready to be sex exploited and nothing wrong with that, eh?
2. Does one teach teenage daughter's to have sex all she wants without thinking of her own esteem and value of self? and that this is potentially a life giving act?* Or will one recommend Beyoncé's Lyrics about what a girl has to do to please a boy. ..or that consequences of sexual act can lead to diseases? and that most likely a boy/man will abandon her if she gets pregnant.*
- Of course teaching boys sex education is for the most part a huge hypocrisy compared to how we teach girls, to this day. ..otherwise Beyoncé's lyrics would have Bill Clinton's name and not the girl he "used".
And the all too real making a baby where one did not intend for that to happen. Where is the "protection", common sense, or care for others? Do what we want? or its just "recreational sex" - It is NOT just a personal lifestyle where only one person gets impacted.
So, if people bothered really reading properly, I advocate a more balanced approach. Sex does NOT have to be in a marriage (although marriage is certainly first choice). At minimum sex MUST between consenting adults, and for the sake of all, be in some form of relationship whereby they will honour each other if a baby comes into the picture. There is nothing wrong with having some moral guideposts for our youth and people - because then they might THINK before they have sex rather than thinking with the wrong end of their body.
We (Canadians, taxpayers, citizens at large) get to have an opinion followed up by hard suggestions as to how to address the unwanted baby situation (abortions) - or those who want the baby, but have no resources to support themselves, let alone a child. btw, where are all the "fathers" listed in those never married mother stats of newborn babies or children? Wonder how many are taking on responsibility for those babies/children?
Why should tax payer money go to raise other men's children? unless widowed or severe circumstances because majority of us have no problem in that type of helping hand.
But this just presents another good reason why MARRIAGE or known committed relationships are better, because then we all know who is RESPONSIBLE along with the mother to SUPPORT those children! Well most times anyway. There will always be philanderers, sad to say.
So your argument is really not with me although you sure seem angry at my points - argue with Stats Canada. And the LOGIC is: if one thinks they are responsible enough to have SEX, one should be prepared to bring a child to earth. Or - One should be INTELLIGENT enough to know how to head to Doctors to get snipped if they never want children, but still want sex. Just another thought. And one should examine the well known problem of lack of intimacy in sex for many. People are not so much seeking "sex" as they are true lasting intimacy and bonding as well as belonging and feeling special. All the sex in the world does not replace, true love and care. Mindless sex for thrills is a never ending search that ends in emptiness for majority of those who espouse such philosophy.
Canadian Birth Stats/Marital Status of Mother 2007-2011
CANSIM - 102-4507 - Live births, by age and marital status of mother, Canada
Executive Summary on STD's
Executive Summary - Report on Sexually Transmitted Infections in Canada: 2009 - Public Health Agency of Canada
Abortion link is to reflect another type of careless sex. Yes, married people are also in those numbers, but we don't know how many. But one can assume to a certain extent, many will be unwed women. Some time back on another forum comments from some on abortion - many women were using abortion as birth control. Some bragging about 6 abortions. That is plain irresponsible!
Annual Abortion Rates | Abortion in Canada
Eating pizza and skiing does not end up making a baby (which is at minimum at 18 year responsibility). Although add a bottle of wine and it might start that process ... in a committed relationship of course
While the activities you mentioned are enjoyable the massive distinction is that having sex can lead to making babies ~ which has more life altering consequences, especially for women.
again, you show your ignorance. That's fine. Doesn't really effect me, and considering your age, your attitude won't effect many for much longer.
Hedonism is all about responsible attitudes toward sex. All your stats don't disprove that. What I would say is that it proves that those your age have done a piss poor job of educating their children about responsibility and because of that their children's children also.
What your stats are showing is that too many of the "baby boomers" spoiled the living fu ck out of their children, didn't teach them responsibility, and created a generation of entitlement where life means nothing except for their own.
As for an apology, ain't happening. I don't apologize for calling bullshyte when I see it.
Hedonism is all about responsible attitudes toward sex. All your stats don't disprove that. What I would say is that it proves that those your age have done a piss poor job of educating their children about responsibility and because of that their children's children also.
What your stats are showing is that too many of the "baby boomers" spoiled the living fu ck out of their children, didn't teach them responsibility, and created a generation of entitlement where life means nothing except for their own.
As for an apology, ain't happening. I don't apologize for calling bullshyte when I see it.
Very sorry you are misinformed to such a degree and are unable to apologize like a real man. My discussion with you had ended. I hope things clear up for you.
There is nothing wrong with responsible "recreational" sex. Just because you are incapable of figuring out how that works is not my fault. Your inadequacies and juvenile attitudes toward sex are not my problem. Obviously you are part of the problem when I see no mention of teaching children the difference between a song and reality.
It's not up to Beyonce or any other "entertainer" to teach our children right from wrong, what moral code to live by, what is real and what isn't real. That is up to the parents. From the fact that you are consistantly bringing up what Beyonces song says, I gather you are one of those parents that expected/allowed others teach their children rather than being responsible for doing it yourself.
I didn't teach my boys any different than I taught my girls. Except, I let my boys know, that no meant no, and I didn't care if she was stark naked laying spread eagle on the bed, if she said no then it was no. I find out otherwise then "I" will castrate them. They are responsible for protection, both from STD's and pregnancy. IF a pregnancy occurs, they are responsible for that and abortion is NOT an option.
Marriage is and has been a joke for far too many for far too long. It means nothing to most. Again, another example of the baby boomer generation falling down on THEIR responsibility.
Your "stats" do not support your contention, they do support mine. It is a generational thing. You show me stats that state that a hedonistic lifestyle contributes significantly to the over all stats in the 3 links you provided, then I will apologize and shut my mouth. I'm not worried about it though as I know you can't.
So, barra, are you this way with all your preferences? I mean "What's right for me is necessarily and exclusively the only right way."
You may be the most judgmental person on this board, and that ain't easy.
You may be the most judgmental person on this board, and that ain't easy.
That is very interesting. You judged me quite harshly and inaccurately, more than once. In addition, I am assessing the lyrics and the denigration of women and the consequences. I have not judged individuals, I am assessing the concept of consequences of permissive sex or sex exploitation.
If that fits someone on here, it is not my business, but theirs to deal with if they need to assess their own lives or not.
My points on this "thread" are about the message of Beyonce's song. See the o/p post.
I am amazed that so many do not see the denigration of women in that song. Perhaps many are desensitized.
btw I am a feminist and of course the sarcasm in the title of this thread is what drew me to it. True feminism (not a radical one - huge difference) is not about becoming like men, but gaining equal rights and worth in society.
Our groups were advocating for birth control. You all seem so high and mighty about judging me as a prude. But it was illegal to use birth control in North America at one time. We advocated for equal education and pay - women were paid far less than men in the same job and endured sufficient struggles to overcome a lot of stereotypes and sex stereotypes.
I believe we should have come a lot farther in education and experience to know the difference between sexual exploitation and a committed sexual relationships. And definitely should be well educated about the real consequences of having sex or poor body image, which is an offshoot of oversexed imagery all around us.
Some of my comments are opinion, some based on facts, in addition to my own life experience - what I see around me and a dearth of real education in child development etc. It is up to the readers to make an assessment and assimilate what I have written and make informed views about it all.
Beyonce's lyrics (remember this is the jump point of this discussion) also mentions a woman who was used by a president - Bill Clinton, yet he appears nowhere as slurred as that girl ended up.
In addition, the consequences of sex without sufficient caution has caused many (more than 100,0000) pregnancies each year - by never married women in this country. STD's are also on the rise, a rapid rise.
If people rankle at those Government of Canada stats (based on real lives) that has nothing to do with my personal judgement but an assessment of facts of life of sexual permissive society.
We have cared for a child from a mom who just wanted to have "fun" and not have accountability lifestyle. I have seen personally, and from afar the damage of body image, self esteem of young girls, teens, young women who think they have to have breast implants or show half their body to attract a man. And we see young men caught in this too. So equal opportunity has gone many times not the way of equal WORTHINESS.
So, when you are all making sure you are the ones taking care of babies born into single mom households, or babies/children of those who really did not want the child, just the sex - Come back and post.
Whether hedonism falls into that category? they "think" they don't hurt others - but someone will invariably get hurt in different ways if the lifestyle persists.
Swingers, have more than likely made many "babies" that were not planned and one can assume sufficient abortion and adoptions or single moms have resulted in "swinging" lifestyles. Very confusing for many. I personally know a baby conceived from a couples temporary foray into a "Swinger lifestyle". He is now in his 40's and has had much angst his whole life about who is real father is. Don't tell me that people are not affected.
But my concern is MORE for the babies and children. Screwing up their lives is the biggest consequence. Yes, they can overcome, but so many do not, and society, ends up judging single moms on welfare quite harshly. But moreso I still see the prejudice against poor children of single mom households. Now if is a single Dad, I have seen a lot adulation for such a feat for a Dad. Very interesting. Why not for both? I say lets get to preventative maintenance.
So now, here is something directed at you personally. You do not have to answer, but just ponder: I wonder if you have had a baby - girl yet? And what will you teach her. Or a baby boy.
I stay "fast" to my assessment of consequences when people do not take sex seriously. And did anyone bother to look up the scientific research on brain imprinting or how sex affects people physically and emotionally. When you and others can prove no unwanted babies are born from such interactions, or that STDS are not increasing, or the children who do not know their father are all happy as peach, come back and post those stats.
Sex holds joy, but also the reciprocal important and necessary responsibility for the act. When we start teaching honouring self and sex to our children, then we may have a chance at some improvement on what our parents went through in life.(which a good paper always refers back to the Original topic - Beyonces denigration is NOT a good example of honouring self). AS for our parents, grandparents, I do NOT judge that generation, their lives were so much harder and without the information or access to birth control we have today. They did a fine job with what they had, majority of them!
We will all make zig zags in life, my life no different, but part of that learning, and making mistakes or good choices, is about LEARNING what is important and how to become a better person. IMHO.
Beyonce shows by her lyrics, that she is not there, yet.
Enjoy your evening.
Actually, you have judged individuals. When you say, and I quote. . .
"I believe sexual relations encompasses more than just a physical act and when enacted upon in a loving manner, with RESPECT for the other person, the most beautiful things happen.*And a sexual position is not the point, but the position of the heart and mind is the point. The most gratifying sexual or intimate experiences happen when the TWO involved are PRESENT With each other, in a loving, giving, reciprocal manner."
you are pretty much judging everyone who does it otherwise. If you had started that with "For me" it woulda been different.
Yeah, no judgment there.
Funny, Beyonce is doing the same thing in the song you claim to be doing here, i.e., speaking for herself. Yet you claim she is dealing in denigration of women generally, but you are not dealing in judging people generally. Go figure.
"True" feminism? Like "true" sex? I.e., your way is right and others are wrong, for everybody?
I'm not judging you as a prude. I'm judging you as someone who insists that her way is the only right way, which you have now done twice, with "true" sex and "true" feminism.
Interesting dichotomy. Further demonstrates that in your mind there are two kinds of sex, and two kinds only (that being what "dichotomy" means): committed relationships and sexual exploitation. Wow.
And I encourage and support you in living your life in the way that works best for you. And you encourage and support everybody in living their lives in the way that works best for you.
Are you sure Bill Clinton wasn't used by Monica Lewinsky?
True, but if people rankle at the fact that you consider pregnancy in a never-married woman to be a bad thing (as you clearly do), you might could wanna consider maybe they don't see their pregnancies that way.
And I know a woman who, quite deliberately and proudly, had a child on her own, and reared him on her own, neither wanting nor accepting a partner in the process. So, wanna quit arguing by anecdote, or shall we continue this all day?
And now you're telling me when I can post. But you're not judgmental or nothing.
Ah, "one can assume." Translation: I will state as fact that which I cannot demonstrate to be fact.
I personally know a baby conceived in one of a long, long series of drunken one-night stands. Me. And I have less than zero angst about who my "real" father is. So, wanna compare more anecdotes and pretend they have meaning beyond the specific case?
Not only can they overcome, but here's a newsflash: having two parents in an exclusive relationship is no guarantee of a good life. I just mention that because you seem to be accepting it as a default value.
Agreed. The ridiculous double standard is amusing or outrageous (depending on my mood that day).
Agreed again. Mandatory birth control starting at age 12. Only let the person off birth control when the person can demonstrate the maturity and financial ability to rear a child.
Yay.
One of each, effectively. My brother and sister. Or perhaps I should say "half-brother and half-sister," seeing as how they were each the product of af deep, committed, one-night relationships. I've been in this situation before, and I know you will either say or strongly imply "If you don't have kids, you can't possibly have a valid opinion."
I follow the research.
That's your standard? OK, I'll hold you to the same standard. Same standard you applied. One hundred percent success is the minimum acceptable. When can prove that all children born into two-person, long-term, exclusive relationships are happy and well adjusted, you can tell yourself you're right and have the right to judge others.
Of course, you already figure you have that.
I let Beyonce take care of Beyonce's life. I don't consider my self qualified to judge her.
Good thing she's got you to take care of that.
I did.
Perhaps you might want to re-read or find thesis or treatise on how people express their opinion, followed up in some cases by facts and stats and by codicils. Which I am liberal throughout my comments using the words "many, if, most, some, etc" . But I am not telling you = that you have to do anything.
My words were some of this is my OPINION - SOME are from facts and some is from life experience. Using the WORD "I believe" means exactly that and no where have I said YOU MUST believe as I do". I can suggest what I believe to be best, especially seeing the fallout of "recreational sex".
But it is always up to the individual to do their own research, study, find stats, facts, talk to others, read PROFESSIONAL publications and so forth. There are going to be many stories, many views on either side.
I opt for the side that holds sex as special and between loving committed people. That is not only my CHOICE, but a philosophy that I espouse. And I made sure I said I made mistakes in my life and learned from them. If people did not have belief systems, where would we be. If you wish you can then debate the logistics of my views, and having some stats to back ones position up is a good idea many times.
If you further note carefully, what I have problems with is that the CHILDREN born that were from such interactions without commitment from a father, it is NOT their fault. We want to see those children as good and worthy in all ways. They did not ask to be born into a world that might not be ideal in many ways. And they can overcome some adversity in many situations. Which I did express to another poster. So you are mixing up the WORTH of a human, with my opinions about sex without caution.
The baby is always special and precious from any conception, no matter the circumstances. And I do not expect such personal story as you relayed about your family. And I hope things will all work out for you all.
And the stats clearly show, there is a lot of people not understanding the consequences of sex without caution or considerations of babies, STDS, abortions etc.
Those are FACTS and they tell us there are some problems in a country that is supposed to be educated and has access to birth control. Because taxpayers pay for extra healthcare etc for those who were not careful.
Well I appreciate the time you took to respond to me, but suffice it to say for now - I wish all people all the best and a good start for each individual is to be informed and aware.
Btw young woman, this whole BOARD and the CONCEPT behind forums, boards, blogs is to express ones opinions, thoughts and for the majority of these topics, it is all about judgement in one form or another and in varying degrees of convictions. We judge the news, food, celebrities, etc, the judgement can be interesting and fun or informative. But they are always ones own personal opinion and interpretation. And it is not about us all agreeing on the same, thing, because we are all unique and have unique experiences, backgrounds and ideologies. I truly think many people mix up the definition of the word judging to mean I am judging you personally, which is farthest from my intent. I can separate out the person, from actions of that person that I might not like or agree with and still care about that person and see them as worthy and beautiful and respect they have a different view.
But,,,, the only time we get to have more of a say, is if we have to pay for someone else's actions.
I may share more, but for now, have a really busy week. Please try very hard to not take this all personally, in no way is it directed at you personally.
All the best.
My words were some of this is my OPINION - SOME are from facts and some is from life experience. Using the WORD "I believe" means exactly that and no where have I said YOU MUST believe as I do". I can suggest what I believe to be best, especially seeing the fallout of "recreational sex".
But it is always up to the individual to do their own research, study, find stats, facts, talk to others, read PROFESSIONAL publications and so forth. There are going to be many stories, many views on either side.
I opt for the side that holds sex as special and between loving committed people. That is not only my CHOICE, but a philosophy that I espouse. And I made sure I said I made mistakes in my life and learned from them. If people did not have belief systems, where would we be. If you wish you can then debate the logistics of my views, and having some stats to back ones position up is a good idea many times.
If you further note carefully, what I have problems with is that the CHILDREN born that were from such interactions without commitment from a father, it is NOT their fault. We want to see those children as good and worthy in all ways. They did not ask to be born into a world that might not be ideal in many ways. And they can overcome some adversity in many situations. Which I did express to another poster. So you are mixing up the WORTH of a human, with my opinions about sex without caution.
The baby is always special and precious from any conception, no matter the circumstances. And I do not expect such personal story as you relayed about your family. And I hope things will all work out for you all.
And the stats clearly show, there is a lot of people not understanding the consequences of sex without caution or considerations of babies, STDS, abortions etc.
Those are FACTS and they tell us there are some problems in a country that is supposed to be educated and has access to birth control. Because taxpayers pay for extra healthcare etc for those who were not careful.
Well I appreciate the time you took to respond to me, but suffice it to say for now - I wish all people all the best and a good start for each individual is to be informed and aware.
Btw young woman, this whole BOARD and the CONCEPT behind forums, boards, blogs is to express ones opinions, thoughts and for the majority of these topics, it is all about judgement in one form or another and in varying degrees of convictions. We judge the news, food, celebrities, etc, the judgement can be interesting and fun or informative. But they are always ones own personal opinion and interpretation. And it is not about us all agreeing on the same, thing, because we are all unique and have unique experiences, backgrounds and ideologies. I truly think many people mix up the definition of the word judging to mean I am judging you personally, which is farthest from my intent. I can separate out the person, from actions of that person that I might not like or agree with and still care about that person and see them as worthy and beautiful and respect they have a different view.
But,,,, the only time we get to have more of a say, is if we have to pay for someone else's actions.
I may share more, but for now, have a really busy week. Please try very hard to not take this all personally, in no way is it directed at you personally.
All the best.
Just found the video.
No one can complain that she is encouraging anorexia that's for sure.
What a great azz she has.
oops sorry it won't post.
here we go...found another
Beyoncé - Partition (Explicit Video) - YouTube
No one can complain that she is encouraging anorexia that's for sure.
What a great azz she has.
oops sorry it won't post.
here we go...found another
Beyoncé - Partition (Explicit Video) - YouTube
It was absolutely not directed at you personally. You provided an example of your own life, but it does not apply to all. Each family, person, situation is unique. I also said I did not ask, nor wish to have personal information as you shared on here.
You took it personally, because it hit some nerves perhaps in family history. We all have family history in some way or another.
Please re-read and perhaps understand that my posts were general in nature and used clarifying words to express such things.
Unfortunately, you pointed fingers at me and labelled me, which is ironic in this exchange. However, this is a forum board, where people are expressing opinions, conjecture, with some facts at times to back up a premise.
I do very much wish you all the best. I don't know others on here personally, nor do they know me. A few words of opinions, does not change that truth. We can know very little about another on forums.
I did say that statistics spoke for themselves and that can't be changed easily. So unless one finds the root of certain things in life we will go in cycles - circles.
Again, I sincerely wish you all the best.
You addressed me as "young lady," which while wildly off the mark (I am neither young nor a lady), is nonetheless personal.
And yet you insist that your prescription of sex only within the boundaries of a committed, semi-permanent relationship is the answer to each and every one of these unique families, persons, and situations.
Do you see an inconsistency there? I do.
I took it personally because you addressed it personally. Your presumption that you know why I think as I do is amusing.
Not at all. You took it personally because it hit some nerves, perhaps in family history.
Statistics never speak for themselves. They have no meaning without context and interpretation. You gave your statistics context and interpretation when you demanded that single parenthood produce a perfect record of raising happy, well-adjusted children, then fell interestingly silent when I asked you to apply the same standard to dual-parent families.
True but neither of those will likely make you enjoy an orgasm. And having casual sex isn't guaranteed to cause babies. We do have such things as contraceptive devices. lol
No argument.Although add a bottle of wine and it might start that process ... in a committed relationship of course
Why more so for women? Aren't men equal partners in parenthood? Wifey and I are equal partners in our parenthood. I kinda like it like that.
I can't be the ONLY one. And since our last child was born, all we have had was casual sex. Even spur-of-the-moment kinda sex. Oh, I see. You're limiting the male responsibility to just the physical aspects.
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I think that's why the OP wrote "roll model", not role model.
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Beyonce bends her back:
60 years ago sex "goddess" Cass Daley showed us her back side:
http://img1.bdbphotos.com/images/orig/b/o/bohg9uwycx1sobgx.jpg?djet1p5k
check out her channel on YT:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGGh-J0g8xMybH7WIRmwenw
lolI think that's why the OP wrote "roll model", not role model.
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lol Cool stuff.