- My fellow Democrats and my fellow Americans:
It seems like everybody has been wondering what I am going to say to you this evening and none more so than President Obama.
After all, we loath and despise each other and he’s only offered me this prime time speaking slot because his campaign is in desperate trouble and he realizes that I am much more popular and also more much believable with Americans than he is and might make the difference in his re-election chances.
In turn, I only accepted his offer because I want Hillary to run for president in 2016 and if I prove to be a good soldier for the party now then it will help her to win the nomination four years from now.
Whoever came up with the saying “politics makes strange bedfellows�� is probably watching this tonight!
If it had been up to me, Hillary would have challenged Obama for the nomination this year but she decided to wait her turn in 2016 and to get as far away from here (she’s in Russia tonight) as she possibly could so as not to be associated with endorsing Obama’s record or with what will probably be a losing presidential campaign.
So let me be honest and let you know that giving this speech endorsing Obama’s re-election is the hardest thing I’ve had to do since I had to say goodbye to Monica Lewinski, even harder than having to say goodbye to Big Macs with fries.
President Obama is an arrogant, incompetent, inflexible, inexperienced, narcissistic, treacherous and aloof individual who is as qualified for the presidency as Stevie Wonder is for this week’s US Open tennis tournament in New York or Justin Bieber is to sing at The Metropolitan Opera House.
In fact, George W. Bush sought my advice on crises and issues and policies far more often than Obama has and I get along much better with George than I do with Barack. Bush and I even share the stage on some of our speaking tours and charity fundraising projects and we both love and admire his father George H. W. Bush whom I have gotten to know as a great American of ability, dignity and patriotism.
Why I’ll even concede that George W.’s tough hand as a new president was partly down to me in that the economic slowdown of 2000 actually began on my watch, the crisis of 9/11 might have been prevented if I had taken up the Pakistanis’ offers to take Bin Laden into custody during my time in office and otherwise had more aggressively tracked down and intimidated rather than encouraged and emboldened the terrorists and, the melt down of 2008 might have been prevented if I hadn’t ignored the advice to get tough with Wall Street on the derivatives it was peddling and I had not ordered Freddy and Fanny to grant mortgages to low income people in minority groups who had as much chance of actually repaying them as Mr. .2% Joltin Joe Biden has of becoming the national spokesperson for charitable giving.
Obama has taken his presidential hand and made it much worse than it needed to be. Like me in my first term, Obama faced a weak economy and some political setbacks in congress and then suffered a major defeat in the mid-term elections.
When this happened to me, I quickly reached across the aisle and developed alliances with the Republicans who controlled congress and we were able to get a number of useful things done starting with the welfare reforms that Obama has now gutted in the dead of night and then lied about. As a result, I was able to win big in my re-election campaign and the country was able to see some real progress on a number of fronts.
I suppose that some of this came down to my dozen years of executive experience as governor of Arkansas which equipped me with the skills and the savvy to get things done through others. Unfortunately, Obama has no executive experience, having never run anything except his mouth, so his response to losing control of the house was to adopt a siege mentality, not try to work with the other party in congress, and be content to blame the other guys for the fact that nothing is getting done.
This kind of unbelievably incompetent crap is why I urged Hillary late last year to run to replace Obama and called him a bumbling amateur without a clue as to how to get things done through others.
So how and why am I urging you to support the re-election of Barack Obama as president?
Aside from it serving my political agenda of helping to ensure that Hillary will be the party’s nominee in 2016, I also argue that the Democratic Party and its philosophy and policies are more worthy of support even with a lousy leader than is the Republican Party and its philosophy and policies even with a leader with a stellar business career who is actually qualified to be president.
If you are in the new majority, the folks who need or simply want more and more government handouts through the transfer of income from the better off to yourselves, the Democrats are your party.
In the past four years, there has been a record increase in handouts of all kinds such as food stamps, unemployment insurance payouts and most every other government subsidy program.
Sure, you can do what the boring old farts in the GOP are always telling you to do – work hard, spend and save and invest wisely, be responsible and make and pay your own way in life. Or you can do what the good graces of the Democratic Party allow you to do – dive head first and hungrily into the public trough as an overpaid, over pensioned and underworked monopoly public sector union employee or as a ward of the government living off some kind of entitlement or entitlements. Come on now – which is the easier thing to do, living off the avails of government as purloined from the better off people of society or busting your ass out there on your own with no guarantees?
Exactly!
Take our new poster girl, and you know I like poster girls and have taken a few myself in my time. That Rosie the Riveter poster girl from World War II is so passé and so Republican now. Today, we have Sandra Fluke as the poster girl of the Democratic Party. She can afford to pay over $34,000 a year for law school but she doesn’t forget to hit up the government – meaning the schmucks who pay taxes – for her $9 a month in birth control pills (and you know that Bill Clinton believes in birth control pills). And when Fluke is finished her law studies why she will probably score some sinecure in the Justice Department and feed off the public trough for the rest of her days!
So think clearly about which party is most inclined to hand over other people’s money to you in various forms of entitlements from public sector jobs for life to welfare without work and food stamps without monitoring and the list goes on.
And don’t worry your little heads about that GOP propaganda concerning the country or the government or major programs like Medicare and social security going bankrupt and leaving us like Greece without the hot beaches and babes and the cool statues and historic buildings and monuments.
We’re probably too big to fail.
And if we do fail, it will probably not be until your kids or maybe even your grandkids are stuck with the bills and the problems.
And when that time comes, why then we’ll fall off that bridge when we come to it.
Maybe we can tell the bond holders and the other institutions and good neighbours like China to whom we owe money, “I meant to pay, but I just forgot�� . That should buy us a little more time.
Or maybe we can simply declare the government bankrupt and plead for a do over.
Look, the point is that our Democratic Party is the party of entitlements at the expense of the private business class and if you are in the majority and looking to score more and bigger government handouts, your choice is clear this November.
Remember, Barack Obama may be the biggest Chicago fraud since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault but he’s our fraud.
So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll give him four more years as president.
And now please excuse me because I’m starting to feel as nauseous as Corry Brooker used to feel a couple of months ago before the Obama Mafia got to him.
Just remember to vote Democrat early and often, you won’t need to identify yourself like you do when you do something important such as taking out a library book
It seems like everybody has been wondering what I am going to say to you this evening and none more so than President Obama.
After all, we loath and despise each other and he’s only offered me this prime time speaking slot because his campaign is in desperate trouble and he realizes that I am much more popular and also more much believable with Americans than he is and might make the difference in his re-election chances.
In turn, I only accepted his offer because I want Hillary to run for president in 2016 and if I prove to be a good soldier for the party now then it will help her to win the nomination four years from now.
Whoever came up with the saying “politics makes strange bedfellows�� is probably watching this tonight!
If it had been up to me, Hillary would have challenged Obama for the nomination this year but she decided to wait her turn in 2016 and to get as far away from here (she’s in Russia tonight) as she possibly could so as not to be associated with endorsing Obama’s record or with what will probably be a losing presidential campaign.
So let me be honest and let you know that giving this speech endorsing Obama’s re-election is the hardest thing I’ve had to do since I had to say goodbye to Monica Lewinski, even harder than having to say goodbye to Big Macs with fries.
President Obama is an arrogant, incompetent, inflexible, inexperienced, narcissistic, treacherous and aloof individual who is as qualified for the presidency as Stevie Wonder is for this week’s US Open tennis tournament in New York or Justin Bieber is to sing at The Metropolitan Opera House.
In fact, George W. Bush sought my advice on crises and issues and policies far more often than Obama has and I get along much better with George than I do with Barack. Bush and I even share the stage on some of our speaking tours and charity fundraising projects and we both love and admire his father George H. W. Bush whom I have gotten to know as a great American of ability, dignity and patriotism.
Why I’ll even concede that George W.’s tough hand as a new president was partly down to me in that the economic slowdown of 2000 actually began on my watch, the crisis of 9/11 might have been prevented if I had taken up the Pakistanis’ offers to take Bin Laden into custody during my time in office and otherwise had more aggressively tracked down and intimidated rather than encouraged and emboldened the terrorists and, the melt down of 2008 might have been prevented if I hadn’t ignored the advice to get tough with Wall Street on the derivatives it was peddling and I had not ordered Freddy and Fanny to grant mortgages to low income people in minority groups who had as much chance of actually repaying them as Mr. .2% Joltin Joe Biden has of becoming the national spokesperson for charitable giving.
Obama has taken his presidential hand and made it much worse than it needed to be. Like me in my first term, Obama faced a weak economy and some political setbacks in congress and then suffered a major defeat in the mid-term elections.
When this happened to me, I quickly reached across the aisle and developed alliances with the Republicans who controlled congress and we were able to get a number of useful things done starting with the welfare reforms that Obama has now gutted in the dead of night and then lied about. As a result, I was able to win big in my re-election campaign and the country was able to see some real progress on a number of fronts.
I suppose that some of this came down to my dozen years of executive experience as governor of Arkansas which equipped me with the skills and the savvy to get things done through others. Unfortunately, Obama has no executive experience, having never run anything except his mouth, so his response to losing control of the house was to adopt a siege mentality, not try to work with the other party in congress, and be content to blame the other guys for the fact that nothing is getting done.
This kind of unbelievably incompetent crap is why I urged Hillary late last year to run to replace Obama and called him a bumbling amateur without a clue as to how to get things done through others.
So how and why am I urging you to support the re-election of Barack Obama as president?
Aside from it serving my political agenda of helping to ensure that Hillary will be the party’s nominee in 2016, I also argue that the Democratic Party and its philosophy and policies are more worthy of support even with a lousy leader than is the Republican Party and its philosophy and policies even with a leader with a stellar business career who is actually qualified to be president.
If you are in the new majority, the folks who need or simply want more and more government handouts through the transfer of income from the better off to yourselves, the Democrats are your party.
In the past four years, there has been a record increase in handouts of all kinds such as food stamps, unemployment insurance payouts and most every other government subsidy program.
Sure, you can do what the boring old farts in the GOP are always telling you to do – work hard, spend and save and invest wisely, be responsible and make and pay your own way in life. Or you can do what the good graces of the Democratic Party allow you to do – dive head first and hungrily into the public trough as an overpaid, over pensioned and underworked monopoly public sector union employee or as a ward of the government living off some kind of entitlement or entitlements. Come on now – which is the easier thing to do, living off the avails of government as purloined from the better off people of society or busting your ass out there on your own with no guarantees?
Exactly!
Take our new poster girl, and you know I like poster girls and have taken a few myself in my time. That Rosie the Riveter poster girl from World War II is so passé and so Republican now. Today, we have Sandra Fluke as the poster girl of the Democratic Party. She can afford to pay over $34,000 a year for law school but she doesn’t forget to hit up the government – meaning the schmucks who pay taxes – for her $9 a month in birth control pills (and you know that Bill Clinton believes in birth control pills). And when Fluke is finished her law studies why she will probably score some sinecure in the Justice Department and feed off the public trough for the rest of her days!
So think clearly about which party is most inclined to hand over other people’s money to you in various forms of entitlements from public sector jobs for life to welfare without work and food stamps without monitoring and the list goes on.
And don’t worry your little heads about that GOP propaganda concerning the country or the government or major programs like Medicare and social security going bankrupt and leaving us like Greece without the hot beaches and babes and the cool statues and historic buildings and monuments.
We’re probably too big to fail.
And if we do fail, it will probably not be until your kids or maybe even your grandkids are stuck with the bills and the problems.
And when that time comes, why then we’ll fall off that bridge when we come to it.
Maybe we can tell the bond holders and the other institutions and good neighbours like China to whom we owe money, “I meant to pay, but I just forgot�� . That should buy us a little more time.
Or maybe we can simply declare the government bankrupt and plead for a do over.
Look, the point is that our Democratic Party is the party of entitlements at the expense of the private business class and if you are in the majority and looking to score more and bigger government handouts, your choice is clear this November.
Remember, Barack Obama may be the biggest Chicago fraud since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault but he’s our fraud.
So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll give him four more years as president.
And now please excuse me because I’m starting to feel as nauseous as Corry Brooker used to feel a couple of months ago before the Obama Mafia got to him.
Just remember to vote Democrat early and often, you won’t need to identify yourself like you do when you do something important such as taking out a library book
