@ #it's not u, it's me

@ #it's not u, it's me

Locutus

#1Nov 14th, 2011

You damn kids and your infernal gadets.

Grow a pair, break-up face to face and feel the guilt, revel in the sting of humiliation. Feel a woman's slap across your face, a drink poured in your lap.

One-third have broken up by Facebook, text or e-mail--survey

Do you need more proof of this sad and very modern truth? Oh, you do. Then please let me help you. A survey -- declares that 33 percent of human beings have broken up with their beloveds by text, e-mail, or Facebook.
Yes, Facebook.
You might imagine that I am talking about 13-year-olds. Because you definitely, surely have to be 13 to be on Facebook. Yet, no. This survey purports to offer the truths of 550 people older than 18--and, clearly, over the first flushes of love.

more unfriending, I don't heart you anymore here

--

mentalfloss

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Makes sense.

One-third of relationships probably aren't even serious enough to warrant a face to face.

JLM

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

I've been trying to make up my mind whether Facebook is a detriment or a liability.

WLDB

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Times change.

petros

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

I had no idea 1/3 of humans were on Fascistbook let alone 1/3 admitting to breaking up on Fascistbook.

TenPenny

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by petros

I had no idea 1/3 of humans were on Fascistbook let alone 1/3 admitting to breaking up on Fascistbook.

There is no possible way that 1/3 of humans are on Facebook.

Last time I did it, I broke up the old fashioned way - I never called her back. For six months. And that was only to get my stuff back. I think she figured it out after a while, but 'her pride' wouldn't allow her to call me.

IdRatherBeSkiing

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by petros

I had no idea 1/3 of humans were on Fascistbook let alone 1/3 admitting to breaking up on Fascistbook.

Or by text or e-mail.

petros

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by TenPenny

There is no possible way that 1/3 of humans are on Facebook.

Last time I did it, I broke up the old fashioned way - I never called her back. For six months. And that was only to get my stuff back. I think she figured it out after a while, but 'her pride' wouldn't allow her to call me.

Quote:

A survey --
-- declares that 33 percent of human beings have
broken up with their beloveds by text, e-mail, or Facebook.

I think I was 16 the last time I broke up with a gal. I don't remember how I did it.

VanIsle

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by petros

I think I was 16 the last time I broke up with a gal. I don't remember how I did it.

I know I was 17 and it was face to face. I felt so bad because he was so upset but - he walked away like a man. Met up with him about a year after I was married. He was with some guy (out having a drink) and I was with my family. I said "hello" on my way by as I had known him most of my life and it was the polite thing to do. To my embarrassment, the guy he was with called out in a loud voice "you're still in love with her!" The music and dancing going on was good. It covered what was said so that I could just keep walking pretending I never noticed. I found out 15 years ago that he killed himself and I have no idea why. No - I'm not suggesting it was over me. There were years and years between when I saw him last and when he took leave of this world. Kind of sad though. I liked his best friend better than him. Dated him too but I heard he drank himself to death. His wife left him so maybe that's why. Odd things happen in our lives but I liked it better when we had to break up either face to face or voice to voice via the telephone. Face Book? Pretty cheesy way to break up. Unless they are using private messaging, nothing like letting everyone know it's over.

petros

#10

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

I assume you dropped him because he wasn't very mature?

TenPenny

#11

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Corduroy

#12

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Breaking up face to face is hypocritical. Why would I see someone to tell them I don't want to see them anymore? Should we say "I think we should see each one more time, this time, and then after today not anymore."?

Breaking up on the phone or via text message or facebook is more logical.

Dexter Sinister

#13 Top Rated Post

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy

Breaking up on the phone or via text message or facebook is more logical.

In my considered opinion, that just telegraphs the fact that the person doing the dumping never took it seriously or cared much in the first place, and is fundamentally shallow, vapid, and a coward, so it's probably a good thing the relationship's over, it was doomed from the start and the dumper knew it. People who take relationships seriously don't do things like that.

It's about respect and courtesy, not logic.

DurkaDurka

#14

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

I wonder if there was a similar reaction when people started to break up over the old copper wire phone system?

Personally, I would have loved to dump someone via carrier pigeon.

mentalfloss

#15

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter Sinister

It's about respect and courtesy, not logic.

It's about time and sex.

petros

#16

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by mentalfloss

It's about time and sex.

21 years that went by in blink and she's friskier than ever. That's a long time, a lot of boinking, no more bills to argue over. Youth have no patience at all these days.

VanIsle

#17

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter Sinister

In my considered opinion, that just telegraphs the fact that the person doing the dumping never took it seriously or cared much in the first place, and is fundamentally shallow, vapid, and a coward, so it's probably a good thing the relationship's over, it was doomed from the start and the dumper knew it. People who take relationships seriously don't do things like that.

It's about respect and courtesy, not logic.

I fully agree. It's not about a "last date". Anyone who gets a call saying something along the lines of "Can we meet for coffee - I have to talk to you", has a pretty good idea that they are about to be dumped. It's called letting someone down gently and there is no reason to let the FB world know ahead of time. A few months ago my nephew broke up with his girlfriend. All I saw on FB was a notice from him stating that he was "single". He has never been married but it was a way of letting people know his status without breaking up on FB but after breaking up.

WLDB

#18

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

I've been dumped over msn messenger and the phone before. Made no difference to me what the method was. Before the internet a fair number used notes or letters to do it. There have always been cowards who want to avoid an unpleasant meeting. They're just more open about it now.

What I find more disturbing is my mother texted me to tell me my grandmother died. That I found to be totally f*cked up. It actually took a few hours before I took in the actual news because the way I found out itself was more upsetting at first.

VanIsle

#19

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by WLDB

I've been dumped over msn messenger and the phone before. Made no difference to me what the method was. Before the internet a fair number used notes or letters to do it. There have always been cowards who want to avoid an unpleasant meeting. They're just more open about it now.

What I find more disturbing is my mother texted me to tell me my grandmother died. That I found to be totally f*cked up. It actually took a few hours before I took in the actual news because the way I found out itself was more upsetting at first.

That's awful. Sorry but that was a cold hearted act. She didn't know how to tell you so she texted it instead. It's like people who won't stay in the room with someone who is breathing their last breaths and needing a little loving support. Selfish. Sometimes you just have to "man up" so to speak. Have an in law that could not stay in the room with her husband while he was on life support and then when he was taken off. Couldn't call her brother to let him know his Dad died. Waited for my husband to get there to do the deed and now the brother blames him because no one told him in time for him to get to the funeral. There is no room in my life for this kind of junk.

JLM

#20

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by VanIsle

That's awful. Sorry but that was a cold hearted act. She didn't know how to tell you so she texted it instead. It's like people who won't stay in the room with someone who is breathing their last breaths and needing a little loving support. Selfish. Sometimes you just have to "man up" so to speak. Have an in law that could not stay in the room with her husband while he was on life support and then when he was taken off. Couldn't call her brother to let him know his Dad died. Waited for my husband to get there to do the deed and now the brother blames him because no one told him in time for him to get to the funeral. There is no room in my life for this kind of junk.

There are some people who just can't deal with death, but I don't think it makes them any less of a person. Hell, I know people who can't even stomach going to funerals. Some people can't handle the sight of blood. If you can't do you can't do it, nothing to do with selfishness. Just for the record, I've been to quite a few funerals but I've never been in the room with a dying person, so I would never pass judgment on that aspect.

VanIsle

#21

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by JLM

There are some people who just can't deal with death, but I don't think it makes them any less of a person. Hell, I know people who can't even stomach going to funerals. Some people can't handle the sight of blood. If you can't do you can't do it, nothing to do with selfishness. Just for the record, I've been to quite a few funerals but I've never been in the room with a dying person, so I would never pass judgment on that aspect.

I cannot agree on this one JLM. I have, with the rest of my family, sat around the clock with my Dad when he was dying. I was 18 yrs. old. It was hard but it was a time when he needed his family. I've been in the room with a man who was dying and who died - right before my eyes. It's not comfortable, he did not know I was there - just kind of a fluke. I was getting his family to him. I've had to be the bearer of such bad news to my children regarding their Grandparents (3 of their grandparents). It's not comfortable. Lots of life is not. When a member of your family - someone you love - is dying - regardless of how it freaks you out, it is my belief, you have a duty to be there. I also know people who "do not attend funerals" including those of their parents. I do not hold any respect for those kind of people.
This topic was about breaking up which, when it comes down to it, is about showing respect for another person's feelings. That's what my whole story is about - showing respect and caring. If you once cared enough to hold someone and be held then you should care enough (in most cases) to respect them enough to tell them face to face that for you, the relationship is over. If it was already a nasty relationship, then you owe them nothing.

TenPenny

#22

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by VanIsle

This topic was about breaking up which, when it comes down to it, is about showing respect for another person's feelings.

For the most part, if you're breaking up with someone, why do you care about their feelings? Half of the time, you're breaking up with them because they've done you wrong, why treat them with any decency in return?

Dexter Sinister

#23

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

To retain the moral high ground.

TenPenny

#24

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Ah, life is a competition to see who gets rated higher on the 'moral high ground' index. I'd forgotten that.

Dexter Sinister

#25

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

No, it's just a better place to be. If you're breaking up because somebody treated you badly, and you deliberately treat the person badly in return, you've shown yourself to be no better. If you're content with that, fine, I prefer to rise above others' follies. It's about how I feel about myself, not how anybody else feels about me.

VanIsle

#26

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by TenPenny

For the most part, if you're breaking up with someone, why do you care about their feelings? Half of the time, you're breaking up with them because they've done you wrong, why treat them with any decency in return?

Because TenPenny - Half the time is kind of the point. So if the other half is the guilty party - then face to face is particularly decent. It's a lot easier to be friendly and a little less awkward when you meet up some other time, which usually happens. People fall out of love. No point in hating them for that.

Dexter Sinister

#27

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

And really, it costs nothing to be polite.

shadowshiv

#28

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by TenPenny

Is that from a movie? If so, which one?

Nuggler

#29

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

............Men actually "dump" women? !!

I was dumped so often, I figured that was just the way it worked.

Kind of bein a man, eh! You get dumped.

We used to call it......................breaking up.

I had it done to me over the phone, in person, by a mutual friend, by her parents (oh shlt, that was bad), by her new boyfriend, her aunt, her gramma............and SHE liked me.

So, in a way it was bad, but, I got to meet a lot of women...............yah, and then get dumped......

.........whatever. Do you think this happens to a lot of guys who just won't admit it??......................................nah!!:ro ll:

But then, one didn't dump me.

I waited............she was pretty

And waited.............she was smart.

And waited...............she never "looked out the window" when I talked about the future.

That was like 45 years ago. She still hasn't dumped me.

She could...................Any day...................

Could happen.

hope not.

JLM

#30

Re: @ #it's not u, it's me

Nov 14th, 2011

Quote: Originally Posted by TenPenny

For the most part, if you're breaking up with someone, why do you care about their feelings? Half of the time, you're breaking up with them because they've done you wrong, why treat them with any decency in return?

Not everybody is a f*****g jerk, Tenpenny!