With the Ashes only a week away, here are some of the best insults the England and Australia cricket teams have thrown at each other over the years......
150 years of verbal warfare
By IAN TUCKEY
A great moment in sport: Australia's two batsmen look depressed just seconds after England won the Ashes in 2005.
CRICKET may only be the second most popular sport in the world after soccer - but it has long ruled the sporting globe when it comes to sledging.
England's W.G. Grace, the greatest player of the 19th century, was the first master of verbal warfare.
Later legends of psychological insults, over 146 years of Ashes conflicts, include heroes like Fred Trueman, Ian Chappell, Merv Hughes.
Here are some of the classic encounters in the art of putting your opponent off, wrecking his confidence, or simply ridiculing him.
The history of the Ashes has also been laced with psychological jousting between matches.
Here are some of the best exchanges between the English and their deadly rivals the Australians over 150 years of cricket:
"Surely, you're not going, Doc? There's still one stump standing."
Fast bowler Charles Kortright after clean bowling W.G. Grace in 1898.
"They have come to watch me bat, not you bowl."
W.G. Grace, responding to being bowled off the first ball in an exhibition match. He replaced the bails and resumed his innings!
"All Australians are uneducated, and an unruly mob."
Douglas Jardine, the England skipper infamous for his "controversial" Bodyline bowling tactics Down Under in 1932-33.
"If we don't beat you, we'll knock your bloody heads off."
England's Bill Voce to Australia's Vic Richardson in 1932.
"There are two teams out there on the oval. One is playing cricket, the other is not."
Battered Aussie skipper Bill Woodfull at the 1932-33 Third Test.
"Well bowled, Harold."
Jardine to Larwood after the world's fastest bowler hit Woodfull dangerously near the heart.
"A fine bloody way to start a series."
Hammond to Bradman as 'the Don' declines to walk after a 'catch' behind in 1946.
"Well bowled, you bastard - now give me the bloody ball!"
Tony Lock, after fellow England spinner Jim Laker took 19 Aussie wickets at Old Trafford in 1956.
FIERY FRED ... Trueman
"Don't bother shutting it, son - you won't be out there long enough."
England paceman Fred Trueman to an Aussie batsman as he walked through the pavilion gate in the early 1960s (****ing hilarious).
"Kid yourself it's a Sunday, Rev - and put your hands together."
Fred Trueman to butter-fingered England team-mate David Sheppard.
"The only fellow I've met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since."
Aussie pace ace Dennis Lillee on England opener Geoffrey Boycott.
"Who's this, then? Father f***ing Christmas?"
Aussie speedster Jeff Thomson, greeting silver-haired David Steele at Lords in 1975.
"I hate bowling at you. I'm not as good at hitting a moving target."
Lillee to unorthodox English batsman Derek Randall.
" Boycott? Bounce the c***, Edrich? Bounce the c***, Willis? Slog the c***, Underwood? Bloody tight - hard to get away. Slog the c***!"
Ian Chappell addresses an Australian team meeting.
"I've faced bigger, uglier bowlers than you, mate - now f**k off and bowl the next one."
Aussie legend Allan Border to England seamer Angus Fraser.
HUNGRY ... Mike Gatting
"You've got to bat on this in a minute, Tufnell. Hospital food suit you?"
Oz paceman Craig McDermott to England batting rabbit Phil Tufnell.
"Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the back."
Merv Hughes sledges England's Robin Smith.
"If it had been a cheese roll, it would never have got past him."
Graham Gooch on England team-mate Mike Gatting being bowled by Shane Warne's "ball of the century" in 1993.
"When the pressure point comes, England's cricketers crumble."
Warne, 1997.
"They are the greatest bunch of sledgers there's ever been."
Aussie legend Neil Harvey on his country's 2001 national team.
"Do you wake up in the middle of the night thinking you might have dropped the Ashes?"
Tufnell to Warne at a Melbourne awards ceremony in February this year. Warne dropped Kevin Pietersen on the last day of the final 2005 Ashes Test - with his pal Pietersen 'thanking him' with 158.
THESE are just a few of the anecdotes from Simon Briggs' entertaining Stiff Upper Lips and Baggy Green Caps. The new book - which he labels "A sledger's history of the Ashes" - is printed by Quercus.
thesun.co.uk
150 years of verbal warfare
By IAN TUCKEY
A great moment in sport: Australia's two batsmen look depressed just seconds after England won the Ashes in 2005.
CRICKET may only be the second most popular sport in the world after soccer - but it has long ruled the sporting globe when it comes to sledging.
England's W.G. Grace, the greatest player of the 19th century, was the first master of verbal warfare.
Later legends of psychological insults, over 146 years of Ashes conflicts, include heroes like Fred Trueman, Ian Chappell, Merv Hughes.
Here are some of the classic encounters in the art of putting your opponent off, wrecking his confidence, or simply ridiculing him.
The history of the Ashes has also been laced with psychological jousting between matches.
Here are some of the best exchanges between the English and their deadly rivals the Australians over 150 years of cricket:
"Surely, you're not going, Doc? There's still one stump standing."
Fast bowler Charles Kortright after clean bowling W.G. Grace in 1898.
"They have come to watch me bat, not you bowl."
W.G. Grace, responding to being bowled off the first ball in an exhibition match. He replaced the bails and resumed his innings!
"All Australians are uneducated, and an unruly mob."
Douglas Jardine, the England skipper infamous for his "controversial" Bodyline bowling tactics Down Under in 1932-33.
"If we don't beat you, we'll knock your bloody heads off."
England's Bill Voce to Australia's Vic Richardson in 1932.
"There are two teams out there on the oval. One is playing cricket, the other is not."
Battered Aussie skipper Bill Woodfull at the 1932-33 Third Test.
"Well bowled, Harold."
Jardine to Larwood after the world's fastest bowler hit Woodfull dangerously near the heart.
"A fine bloody way to start a series."
Hammond to Bradman as 'the Don' declines to walk after a 'catch' behind in 1946.
"Well bowled, you bastard - now give me the bloody ball!"
Tony Lock, after fellow England spinner Jim Laker took 19 Aussie wickets at Old Trafford in 1956.
"Don't bother shutting it, son - you won't be out there long enough."
England paceman Fred Trueman to an Aussie batsman as he walked through the pavilion gate in the early 1960s (****ing hilarious).
"Kid yourself it's a Sunday, Rev - and put your hands together."
Fred Trueman to butter-fingered England team-mate David Sheppard.
"The only fellow I've met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since."
Aussie pace ace Dennis Lillee on England opener Geoffrey Boycott.
"Who's this, then? Father f***ing Christmas?"
Aussie speedster Jeff Thomson, greeting silver-haired David Steele at Lords in 1975.
"I hate bowling at you. I'm not as good at hitting a moving target."
Lillee to unorthodox English batsman Derek Randall.
" Boycott? Bounce the c***, Edrich? Bounce the c***, Willis? Slog the c***, Underwood? Bloody tight - hard to get away. Slog the c***!"
Ian Chappell addresses an Australian team meeting.
"I've faced bigger, uglier bowlers than you, mate - now f**k off and bowl the next one."
Aussie legend Allan Border to England seamer Angus Fraser.
"You've got to bat on this in a minute, Tufnell. Hospital food suit you?"
Oz paceman Craig McDermott to England batting rabbit Phil Tufnell.
"Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the back."
Merv Hughes sledges England's Robin Smith.
"If it had been a cheese roll, it would never have got past him."
Graham Gooch on England team-mate Mike Gatting being bowled by Shane Warne's "ball of the century" in 1993.
"When the pressure point comes, England's cricketers crumble."
Warne, 1997.
"They are the greatest bunch of sledgers there's ever been."
Aussie legend Neil Harvey on his country's 2001 national team.
"Do you wake up in the middle of the night thinking you might have dropped the Ashes?"
Tufnell to Warne at a Melbourne awards ceremony in February this year. Warne dropped Kevin Pietersen on the last day of the final 2005 Ashes Test - with his pal Pietersen 'thanking him' with 158.
THESE are just a few of the anecdotes from Simon Briggs' entertaining Stiff Upper Lips and Baggy Green Caps. The new book - which he labels "A sledger's history of the Ashes" - is printed by Quercus.
thesun.co.uk
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