avoid the positive thinking mentality

[darkbeaver]

Spiritual, psychological and holistic reasons to avoid the positive thinking mentality

by Mike Bundrant

(NaturalNews) Mention a problem to just about anyone and you'll be inundated with positive advice. "Things will get better soon. Just keep a positive outlook. Chin up, my friend! Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining. When one door closes, another opens. Your attitude determines your altitude. You'll be fine. Everything turns out for the best in the end."

Positive thinking dominates our conscious minds. When we have a thought we can control, we try to make it positive. This is a massive problem; it may be humanity's deadly flaw. All those negative thoughts you cannot control, therefore, have a basis in unconscious negativity, an area we are motivated to avoid, especially since the advent of the positive thinking culture.

What is unconscious originates outside of our awareness. What is outside of our awareness is outside of our control. To control negativity, we need to be able to see it, focus on it, confront it, deal with it - NOT avoid it.

The positive side of life is valid part of the story. Denying the rest of story goes against ancient spiritual wisdom, psychological evidence, common sense and sets you up for a lifetime of disappointment and self-sabotage.

Look at the world around you. Look at your own mind and behavior honestly. It is not all positive. Focusing only on the positive and denying the negative is a recipe for disaster. The disaster is in full force all around us. We continue to deny it at our own peril.

We need holistic thinking, not positive thinking.

Positive thinking is the act of thinking good or affirmative thoughts. Many people engage in positive thinking to rid themselves of negative thoughts, even though it is the worst way to get rid of them.

Positive thinking goes against holistic thinking on so many levels. Holistic thinking embraces all of life, the positive and the negative, to the point of transcending them. By transcending them, I don't mean avoiding negativity, but achieving balance between these opposing forces that are not going away, no matter how much we pretend otherwise.

Focusing solely on the positive empowers the negative, because the negative and the positive are connected. It works like a teeter-totter. Sit on one side and the other pops up. Put equal weight on both sides and you can live in balance and harmony.

Lessons from Taoism


Taoism teaches us that the seeming opposites in life actually give rise to each other. Many natural dualities (such as female and male, dark and light, low and high, cold and hot, water and fire, life and death, and so on) are thought of as physical manifestations of the yin-yang concept.

Christian apologist C.S. Lewis spoke highly of the Tao in his book, The Abolition of Man:

The Tao, which others may call Natural Law or Traditional Morality or the First Principles of Practical Reason or the First Platitudes, is not one among a series of possible systems of value. It is the sole source of all value judgments. If it is rejected, all value is rejected.

Denying negativity - especially our unconscious attachments to it - is a flat rejection of the Tao.

The Old Testament lays it out clearly, in Eccelesiates 3: 1-8

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

If a "positive thinker," as opposed to (theoretically) King Solomon, had written Ecclesiastes, here is what we might have gotten:

A time to be born, but you never have to die if you see the glass as "half-full."

A time to laugh, but weeping is not necessary because nothing in life is sad if you have a positive mental attitude.

A time to search, and never give up regardless of the evidence.

A time to love, but we're not comfortable mentioning that other word.

A time for peace, so let's pretend there are no bad guys in the world.

A time to heal, but we're not comfortable admitting there is such a thing as killing, or even suffering.

If we are going to deal with the negative before it swallows us, we need to learn to focus on it, intentionally. This involves learning how it operates in our own psyche. We need to face it productively, rather than ignore it. Facing negativity can change your life for the better in ways you have never imagined.

When you face negativity - including the natural negativity within you - with open eyes and an open mind, you naturally put your magnificent intelligence to work to solve problems, not deny them. Self-sabotage, which results from an unconscious attachment to negativity, becomes a thing of the past. To learn more about how to overcome self-sabotage by understanding negative attachments, watch this free video.

 

[SLM]

Seems to be about balance which makes sense to me. You've got to take the bad with the good, otherwise you really don't have the whole thing.

 

[Sal]

I agree that positive thinking can lead to very negative outcomes.

I have always felt part of the problem with the "positive thinking crowd" was denial. From a psychological perspective denial is deeply damaging. I also think it sucks energy to keep trying to refocus from negative to positive when one should be expending one's energy on problem solving.

When we hit a wall which thwarts our progress I think it is best to stop at the wall and rethink our approach. Maybe after reflection we need to take a new path. I have always been an advocate of allowing the negative to BE the positive. It teaches us, it guides us.

It is our response to circumstance that moulds who we are and what we become.

 

[L Gilbert]

Spiritual, psychological and holistic reasons to avoid the positive thinking mentalitywatch this free video.

Been saying this for years: hope for the best, expect the worst.

 

[SLM]

I agree that positive thinking can lead to very negative outcomes.

I have always felt part of the problem with the "positive thinking crowd" was denial. From a psychological perspective denial is deeply damaging. I also think it sucks energy to keep trying to refocus from negative to positive when one should be expending one's energy on problem solving.

When we hit a wall which thwarts our progress I think it is best to stop at the wall and rethink our approach. Maybe after reflection we need to take a new path. I have always been an advocate of allowing the negative to BE the positive. It teaches us, it guides us.

It is our response to circumstance that moulds who we are and what we become.

"Positive" thinkers, and in the same way "negative" thinkers too, are idealogues. Focused solely on the "ideal", either in a drive to acquire it which involves ignoring all else or bemoaning what they don't have. What they are missing is reality, which is made up of both the positive and the negative. The way to achieve happiness is through compromise and acceptance, "Grant me the serenity to change the things I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference", or words to that effect.

 

[Cliffy]

To achieve balance in life one must not have any emotional attachments to outcomes. Plant seeds and walk away. If they grow, fine. If they don't fine. Life is what happens when you are planning other things. I think that is pretty Zen.

 

[darkbeaver]

Now we can say what the half full crowd are full of. It was always a stupid argument, half is not full. No one has ever owned a half full glass, you can't buy one anywhere.

 

[karrie]

I'm sorry but the article is overly simplistic. Positive thinking is NOT the same as being oblivious to the existence of negative outcomes.

Positive thinking as I've seen it, centers around the notion that negative outcomes are not the end of the story. It's not a matter of not seeing the whole picture, it's a matter of where you want to linger in viewing it. I don't want to linger on the scar on my neck from the melanoma, I want to focus on the fact that I'm healthy. I don't want to linger on my aunty's death, I want to focus on her children, my cousins, who are a joy in my life. That doesn't mean I pretend my aunt is alive. That doesn't mean I pretend I bear no scar. But positivity spurs me to move on.

I don't know what the right term would be, for the obliviousness that article describes, but it's not simple positivity.

 

[darkbeaver]

I'm sorry but the article is overly simplistic. Positive thinking is NOT the same as being oblivious to the existence of negative outcomes.

Positive thinking as I've seen it, centers around the notion that negative outcomes are not the end of the story. It's not a matter of not seeing the whole picture, it's a matter of where you want to linger in viewing it. I don't want to linger on the scar on my neck from the melanoma, I want to focus on the fact that I'm healthy. I don't want to linger on my aunty's death, I want to focus on her children, my cousins, who are a joy in my life. That doesn't mean I pretend my aunt is alive. That doesn't mean I pretend I bear no scar. But positivity spurs me to move on.

I don't know what the right term would be, for the obliviousness that article describes, but it's not simple positivity.

negative and positive co-exist or they don't exist at all there is only one

 

[Elder]

Spiritual, psychological and holistic reasons to avoid the positive thinking mentality

by Mike Bundrant

(NaturalNews) Mention a problem to just about anyone and you'll be inundated with positive advice. "Things will get better soon. Just keep a positive outlook. Chin up, my friend! Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining. When one door closes, another opens. Your attitude determines your altitude. You'll be fine. Everything turns out for the best in the end."

Positive thinking dominates our conscious minds. When we have a thought we can control, we try to make it positive. This is a massive problem; it may be humanity's deadly flaw. All those negative thoughts you cannot control, therefore, have a basis in unconscious negativity, an area we are motivated to avoid, especially since the advent of the positive thinking culture.

What is unconscious originates outside of our awareness. What is outside of our awareness is outside of our control. To control negativity, we need to be able to see it, focus on it, confront it, deal with it - NOT avoid it.

The positive side of life is valid part of the story. Denying the rest of story goes against ancient spiritual wisdom, psychological evidence, common sense and sets you up for a lifetime of disappointment and self-sabotage.

Look at the world around you. Look at your own mind and behavior honestly. It is not all positive. Focusing only on the positive and denying the negative is a recipe for disaster. The disaster is in full force all around us. We continue to deny it at our own peril.

We need holistic thinking, not positive thinking.

Positive thinking is the act of thinking good or affirmative thoughts. Many people engage in positive thinking to rid themselves of negative thoughts, even though it is the worst way to get rid of them.

Positive thinking goes against holistic thinking on so many levels. Holistic thinking embraces all of life, the positive and the negative, to the point of transcending them. By transcending them, I don't mean avoiding negativity, but achieving balance between these opposing forces that are not going away, no matter how much we pretend otherwise.

Focusing solely on the positive empowers the negative, because the negative and the positive are connected. It works like a teeter-totter. Sit on one side and the other pops up. Put equal weight on both sides and you can live in balance and harmony.

Lessons from Taoism


Taoism teaches us that the seeming opposites in life actually give rise to each other. Many natural dualities (such as female and male, dark and light, low and high, cold and hot, water and fire, life and death, and so on) are thought of as physical manifestations of the yin-yang concept.

Christian apologist C.S. Lewis spoke highly of the Tao in his book, The Abolition of Man:

The Tao, which others may call Natural Law or Traditional Morality or the First Principles of Practical Reason or the First Platitudes, is not one among a series of possible systems of value. It is the sole source of all value judgments. If it is rejected, all value is rejected.

Denying negativity - especially our unconscious attachments to it - is a flat rejection of the Tao.

The Old Testament lays it out clearly, in Eccelesiates 3: 1-8

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

If a "positive thinker," as opposed to (theoretically) King Solomon, had written Ecclesiastes, here is what we might have gotten:

A time to be born, but you never have to die if you see the glass as "half-full."

A time to laugh, but weeping is not necessary because nothing in life is sad if you have a positive mental attitude.

A time to search, and never give up regardless of the evidence.

A time to love, but we're not comfortable mentioning that other word.

A time for peace, so let's pretend there are no bad guys in the world.

A time to heal, but we're not comfortable admitting there is such a thing as killing, or even suffering.

If we are going to deal with the negative before it swallows us, we need to learn to focus on it, intentionally. This involves learning how it operates in our own psyche. We need to face it productively, rather than ignore it. Facing negativity can change your life for the better in ways you have never imagined.

When you face negativity - including the natural negativity within you - with open eyes and an open mind, you naturally put your magnificent intelligence to work to solve problems, not deny them. Self-sabotage, which results from an unconscious attachment to negativity, becomes a thing of the past. To learn more about how to overcome self-sabotage by understanding negative attachments, watch this free video.

I am so positively impressed with this article. Bravo to Mike Brundant.

"Focusing solely on the positive empowers the negative, because the negative and the positive are connected. It works like a teeter-totter. Sit on one side and the other pops up. Put equal weight on both sides and you can live in balance and harmony".

I agree with the entire article but the above quote really tells it. There is nothing simplistic about this article at all. It is extremely profound but one would have had to choose to walk a path of enlightenment to fully comprehend it. Those of the Cocooned world would view this as nonsense.

This 3rd dimension is the dimension of the material/ physical. This means that energy manifests in physical form. As you know energy cannot be created or destroyed. Every thought is energy. When we ignore the negative and replace it with the positive we set ourselves up for future physical disease conditions, mental and emotional dysfunction, spiritual confusion, psychological distress and aberration. It is as the author states: The 2 are interconnected. One does not function independent of the other.

When we deny the negative we psychologically "store" the denied energy in pockets within ourselves. The dark parts accumulate and over time become manifest (takes form) in the physical world. It must happen this way for this is the 3rd dimension and these are the cut-in-stone rules that cannot be avoided. When we do not examine or acknowledge the negative we become victims of it. We cannot change what we refuse to know. It is pure folly to pretend that bad things do not happen. Another aspect of this dimension's nature is that it is "dual" so ignoring the negative is unwise. It, the negative, just does not magically do away.

In fact, often the denier of reality is likely to die suddenly of, say, cancer - why? Because the stored dense, dark energy has an acid effect upon the body. It raises body acids which leave one vulnerable to degenerative disease conditions. I have a private head-shake every time I hear some say: "she/he was such a good person....why did she/he have to die?" Well, they denied the negative which is a part of reality, or even worse focussed only on it, and the immune system took a dive. She/he may have had a false persona. When one can sense energy secretive, dishonest people are an open book. It does not matter what words you use or what stories you tell the energy sensitive knows the truth by the state of that person's inner architecture. All folk with cancer and various arthritic conditions have unusually high body acids.

People with secrets, deniers, are psychologically and spiritually twisted within themselves. We cannot bring into the Light that which we refuse to face so it remains inside of us festering and operating through us (in the negative) eventually manifesting in some outer form. It does not have to be a physical form either. It can be loss of business, inability to form lasting healthy relationships with others, chronic bad luck (which does not really exist for it is a denial of self-culpability) and ongoing physical conditions, mental illness and more.

Take his advice and examine the dark wriggling things inside of you. Exposure allows balance and healing to occur.

I do not detect a message in here to focus on the negative. Rather the message is to acknowledge it so that it does not collect within us. You can be certain the stored energy is a powerfully, dark influence and it cannot magically morph into a positive effect.

This is a very positive enlightened article. Thanks for posting it.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

But darkbeaver, you're very positive. Every time anything happens, you're positive it's a big conspiracy by the bankers.

 

[Angstrom]

It reminds me of my wife, when the car breaks down.
she is always thinking positive. It's probably some little small thing.

And it always turns out to be a 700$ little small thing lol.

 

[Elder]

It reminds me of my wife, when the car breaks down.
she is always thinking positive. It's probably some little small thing.

And it always turns out to be a 700$ small thing lol.

Got a good laugh from that!! I would say her positive attitude is better than cursing and smashing the windshield then punching you in the nose out of frustration wouldn't you say? I lack of drama is the best way.

 

[petros]

Many natural dualities (such as female and male, dark and light, low and high, cold and hot, water and fire, life and death, and so on) are thought of as physical manifestations of the yin-yang concept.

Yin-yang concept eh? After the hamster comment, I'm staying away from ANY and ALL yin-yang concepts you present.

 

[Angstrom]

Got a good laugh from that!! I would say her positive attitude is better than cursing and smashing the windshield then punching you in the nose out of frustration wouldn't you say? I lack of drama is the best way.

Yes, definitely better then smashing the wind shield...
But, exactly like the article describes I feel she is trying to avoid the situation.

It's like she dose not want to deal with the negative situation, and hides behind a wall
of positive thinking, hoping the problem will go away......


It frustrates the heck out of me.

 

[Elder]

Yes, definitely better then smashing the wind shield...
But, exactly like the article describes I feel she is trying to avoid the situation.

It's like she dose not want to deal with the negative situation, and hides behind a wall
of positive thinking, hoping the problem will go away......


It frustrates the heck out of me.

Ahhhh! Now I understand. I will post more later husband and I are just starting a movie.

 

[Cliffy]

It would be better to just let life be what it is. Nothing is good or bad, it is just an experience. It is judgement that causes duality, yin/yang. If you don't judge, there is no emotional stigma added to the event. I believe that s what the "judge not.." quote from the bible is all about. Everything is connected, interdependent. There is no separation, no us and them. Life is just one big cosmic dance. It is an ego with a concept of separation that make it into a drama.

 

[Elder]

Yes, definitely better then smashing the wind shield...
But, exactly like the article describes I feel she is trying to avoid the situation.

It's like she does not want to deal with the negative situation, and hides behind a wall
of positive thinking, hoping the problem will go away....

It frustrates the heck out of me.

Husband did not make it to the opening credits of the movie. By the time I had a quick shower and returned - he was asleep. I think the asparagus omelette accompanied By a bottle of La Fin du Monde, a strong French ale, combined to render him unconscious.

Regarding your wife's positivity it appears that she is at the "negative" end of positivity. It sounds strange but we both know what we are talking about here. It could be a technique of denying reality through positivity. Your frustration is understandable. Folk such as your wife, and I'm sure she's a lovely lady, actually cause more problems and difficulties down that rocky path for themselves.

It is similar to a man who smokes cigarettes, drinks beer, eats anything he pleases, does not exercise, and refuses to see a doctor for annual physicals. He denies the messages his body sends him such as: high blood pressure, ruddy complexion, heartburn, tight painful chest spasms, headaches and nausea. He is still smiling and assuring you he is just fine as falls to the ground and dies of a heart attack

This is an extreme example but it pretty well describes the process of being unrealistically positive; the consequences of that denial is, probably, a Conditioned reaction to the negative. Her mother may have told her that "if you stay sunny and bright everything will be just right."
It is an unrealistic coping strategy for negative events and situations.
The I'm not only does not help in this instance it a is dangerous.

Her denial of the negative and sunny positivity was probably conditioned into her as a girl child. Maybe she does not know how to do handle life in any other way. She has no experience in facing reality head-on so you may need to help her here. Do in a gentle way because if you try to force her, belittle her, or Mock her she will not be able to implement change.

The truth is I have no idea how you may go about helping her. If I come up with any solutions I will certainly let you know. Some folk are going to think that you're nuts if you say that your wife is too positive and you want her to get a grip on reality.

I have a neighbor across the street (i know her for 14 years)who lives in a fantasy world. She's my age 63, an intelligent woman who does and says some rather dumb things because she's not based in the real world. It must be a defense mechanism. In her mind a lady does not say bad things, true or not, she was told to be always positive. This has never helped anyone handle the complexities of life in my opinion. How do you learn ?

I think we need to be neutral as much as possible. This is being neither positive nor negative. It's aiming between the two and maintaining a balance throughout every situation.
Being neutral allows clear assessment of situations, such as when assessing a negatives challenge you realize it's not as drastic as you thought it would be so you feel more positive about resolving it. You Then you go on to handle whatever you need to handle.
In this way it is faced head on. I agree there is no good or bad but I see it as indications of varying levels of consciousness.
Consciousness/awareness is the key. Perhaps she prefers the bubble of false safety unawareness offers. It is a delicate issue.

Here is an interesting article which may assist you.

http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/why-negative-life-lessons-are-so-valuable/

 

[Angstrom]

The way I understand the article and interpret its meaning,

Still using my little example,
So the car breaks down. First thing right off the bat, imagine the worst case scenario.
(Start with worst outcome, lets say that's 1000$)

That means you start planning & budgeting for that. 1000$ doesn't just pop out of thin air.
Once you are ready for the worst case scenario, if it turns out to be a little thing, then you can
Be happy and positive about it.

So ya, the article is saying, don't let positive thinking get in the way of your preparedness.

 

[Elder]

The way I understand the article and interpret its meaning,

Still using my little example,
So the car breaks down. First thing right off the bat, imagine the worst case scenario.
(Start with worst outcome, lets say that's 1000$)

That means you start planning & budgeting for that. 1000$ doesn't just pop out of thin air.
Once you are ready for the worst case scenario, if it turns out to be a little thing, then you can
Be happy and positive about it.

So ya, the article is saying, don't let positive thinking get in the way of your preparedness.

"Don't Let positivity get in the way of your preparedness."

What is so wonderful about being individuals is that we perceive uniquely. 20 people read the same article and there are 20 different messages that are derived from it. When we share those unique perceptions with each other we can grow from the sharing. This is what is happening to me right now after reading your perception and message derived.

I just need a little more explanation of what the message is about. Are you upset that your wife is positive immediately? Or are you upset that her positivity makes her unrealistic about the situation?

We men and women think differently so I seek to understand.
My husband goes into neutral when something like that occurs. I used to get all dramatic and worry about the situation. We have been together for 25 years now so I had plenty of time to study him in the way that he approaches life and copes with things. Quite some years ago I realized that his approach was much superior to my energy-wasting antics so I adopted his mode of dealing with crisis. We both immediately go into neutral.

We do not worry about the future or how we are going to pay for it. Neither do we smile like idiots and say "oh everything is going to be okay." Usually we don't say much at all; we just deal with the task at hand. We do not put out any energy either way and things work out quite well no matter what the crisis is. We know we have to go through it And of course we do discuss it but it is done in a neutral manner. This way we don't put out energy to complicate the issue.

I don't know how to describe this here. We had several major crises lately and we got through them easier than some of our friends and co- workers, who were affected as well, because we did not put out emotion. No drama, no fear. Although we were heavily financially impacted by it too we knew we couldn't get out of the situation so we just went along with it. We were not traumatized like the others because of our choice of coping with the situation. Some folks got a little irritated that we were not worried. What's the sense? All it does is complicate the issue.

No, we are not robots; it is a sort of Zen thing i guess. If you look at some of my other posts I'm not exactly a peacemaker all the time.

So, when the car breaks down:
- no worry about what it's going to cost
- no blaming
- no searching for the reason
- no false positivity
- no worry
- Just do what needs to be done as it comes.

We know we had have to pay for it and that is decided in a neutral way as well. It means that we conduct ourselves in a calm manner and the situation isn't made more difficult by senseless emoting.

Positivity is an emotion, just like worry is an emotion. I don't know if I would wait until I assessed the monetary impact of the situation before I was able to feel positive again. Feeling positive wouldn't be my goal. Being neutral about the situation so that everything flows along as it needs to would be the goal.

It would be better to just let life be what it is. Nothing is good or bad, it is just an experience. It is judgement that causes duality, yin/yang. If you don't judge, there is no emotional stigma added to the event. I believe that s what the "judge not.." quote from the bible is all about. Everything is connected, interdependent. There is no separation, no us and them. Life is just one big cosmic dance. It is an ego with a concept of separation that make it into a drama.

Hey Cliffy! Exactement!! You explained it so much more simply than I can. Actually do you say it extremely well. It is the same thing - going into neutral. living between the yin and the yang. Neutral state.
This used to be the natural way of the aboriginal folk around the world. They lived in the neutral naturally. This allowed them to go with the flow,literally, of life. No worry - no hoping fir the best- just moving along in the flow.
The intense need for excitement by people these days is absolutely insane. This emotional output creates all kinds of disasters,craziness and misunderstandings.
Would a sane world it would it be if we could all just be neutral.

How did my comment to Cliffy become attached to the comment to Angstrom? I don't understand how that happened. I am on my iPhone. I suppose that makes the difference.