#1Jul 6th, 2011
So I'm curious if someone here, who might feel the same way as my roommate, could explain it to me.
Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
Sex and morality
So I'm curious if someone here, who might feel the same way as my roommate, could explain it to me.
Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
#2
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
When I was growing up catholic, it was in my head that if you did have sex before you were married, then it was one of those bigger sins that'd toss you into hell and the first time you did, you'd have a pregnancy to deal with.My roommate and I were talking earlier, and she mentioned that she and her boyfriend of some years were waiting for marriage to have sex. I had no idea. Despite her religiosity, I had just assumed they were doin' it. This attitude has always confused me. Of course, her explanation is a religious one, and religious explanations are nonsensical and arbitrary. But considering it rationally, I believe there's no logical connection between sex and morality. It's not a matter of a bad argument; it's just a total non sequitur.
So I'm curious if someone here, who might feel the same way as my roommate, could explain it to me.
Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
And if that happened, then the cat was out of the bag, your family would know you had sex before you were married, then comes the pressure to marry from your family so the kid would grow up in a house with two parents, or face being disowned, then you have the problem of spending the rest of your life raising a child and losing any part of your life to spend on yourself.......
...... and the worries of STD's..... it just didn't seem worth all the hassle & risks.
That, and since they never had sex before, they don't know what they're missing or not missing, so they're happy with what they currently know of life.
Thus, there is more to it than just the religious aspect, but in my personal experience, it's a triggering factor that justifies the rest of the above thinking and can set people in their ways as you described.
But around the age of 19, I just fk'it all and did it anyways. I was also at the part of my life where I was starting to drop out of my religous beliefs.
You can also compare the thinking to someone who's never done drugs, like smoking pot, and the paranoia that it could immediately ruin your life, become addicted, move into other heavier drugs..... and they just don't think it's worth feeding you curiosity.
#3
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
I think it is easier to explain by looking at marriage. I am married. I love my wife and have a great deal of feelings and commitment towards her. I would not cheat on her and personally dont feel that this has to be a moral or religious issue. This could merely be a trust and commitment issue.
Now if i roll back the clocks, if we had decided not to have premarital sex, it might have been based on the same beliefs and understanding about marriage that makes our commitment to each other very real today.
Now if i roll back the clocks, if we had decided not to have premarital sex, it might have been based on the same beliefs and understanding about marriage that makes our commitment to each other very real today.
+3
#4 Top Rated PostRe: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
It's not premarital sex if you never get married!
+1
#5Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
I think it's strictly a matter between her and her fiance and really nobody else's business so maybe you should just butt out.My roommate and I were talking earlier, and she mentioned that she and her boyfriend of some years were waiting for marriage to have sex. I had no idea. Despite her religiosity, I had just assumed they were doin' it. This attitude has always confused me. Of course, her explanation is a religious one, and religious explanations are nonsensical and arbitrary. But considering it rationally, I believe there's no logical connection between sex and morality. It's not a matter of a bad argument; it's just a total non sequitur.
So I'm curious if someone here, who might feel the same way as my roommate, could explain it to me.
Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
+1
#6Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
Maybe it's for the best if there's nothing to compare with - sorta Victorian, and completely up to them
+2
#7Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
To each his own. If this is what they believe is right for them. Awesome! Takes a great commitment!
+2
#8Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Darlene_O
Awesome? It's not awesome. It's a personal choice. It's no better and no worse than the other choice.To each his own. If this is what they believe is right for them. Awesome! Takes a great commitment!
+1
#9Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
There is a moral component to the issue, but not necessarily founded in religion. The only compounding variable resides with the individual moral code by which your room mate lives her life. If that code is founded by a religious variable, then so be it; but in the end, she is the one that has to answer to herself long before she is required to answer to anyone else.This attitude has always confused me. Of course, her explanation is a religious one, and religious explanations are nonsensical and arbitrary. But considering it rationally, I believe there's no logical connection between sex and morality. It's not a matter of a bad argument; it's just a total non sequitur.
+1
#10Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by TenPenny
Ummmmmmmm, I would hope that there are broad enough minded people to understand it may be a better choice for them without being judged by others! Awesome? It's not awesome. It's a personal choice. It's no better and no worse than the other choice.
#11
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by JLM
I'm not judging, that's my point. It's not 'awesome'; it's not 'not awesome'.Ummmmmmmm, I would hope that there are broad enough minded people to understand it may be a better choice for them without being judged by others!
You're the one judging, by suggesting it's a better choice.
I'm broad minded enough to not judge, and therefore not claim that it's 'awesome'.
You should do so well.
#12
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by TenPenny
Wrong- I'm suggesting it might be a better choice for them.I'm not judging, that's my point. It's not 'awesome'; it's not 'not awesome'.
You're the one judging, by suggesting it's a better choice.
I'm broad minded enough to not judge, and therefore not claim that it's 'awesome'.
You should do so well.
#13
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011YouTube - Whats Love Got to do With It by Tina Turner Lyrics
What has love got to do with it (or morality)
#14
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Praxius
I think understand where the mentality comes from. It's strictly brain washing, of course. What I'm asking is if anybody knows of a logical argument to justify it. If there is anyone who believes that there is a connection between sex and morality, I'd like to hear it.When I was growing up catholic, it was in my head that if you did have sex before you were married, then it was one of those bigger sins that'd toss you into hell and the first time you did, you'd have a pregnancy to deal with.
And if that happened, then the cat was out of the bag, your family would know you had sex before you were married, then comes the pressure to marry from your family so the kid would grow up in a house with two parents, or face being disowned, then you have the problem of spending the rest of your life raising a child and losing any part of your life to spend on yourself.......
...... and the worries of STD's..... it just didn't seem worth all the hassle & risks.
That, and since they never had sex before, they don't know what they're missing or not missing, so they're happy with what they currently know of life.
Thus, there is more to it than just the religious aspect, but in my personal experience, it's a triggering factor that justifies the rest of the above thinking and can set people in their ways as you described.
But around the age of 19, I just fk'it all and did it anyways. I was also at the part of my life where I was starting to drop out of my religous beliefs.
You can also compare the thinking to someone who's never done drugs, like smoking pot, and the paranoia that it could immediately ruin your life, become addicted, move into other heavier drugs..... and they just don't think it's worth feeding you curiosity.
Quote: Originally Posted by cranky
I'm not asking about extra-marital sex.I think it is easier to explain by looking at marriage. I am married. I love my wife and have a great deal of feelings and commitment towards her. I would not cheat on her and personally dont feel that this has to be a moral or religious issue. This could merely be a trust and commitment issue.
Quote: Originally Posted by JLM
.I think it's strictly a matter between her and her fiance and really nobody else's business so maybe you should just butt out.
Quote: Originally Posted by Darlene_O
To each his own. If this is what they believe is right for them. Awesome! Takes a great commitment!
Quote: Originally Posted by captain morgan
Three people who aren't getting it. Thanks for trying though.There is a moral component to the issue, but not necessarily founded in religion. The only compounding variable resides with the individual moral code by which your room mate lives her life. If that code is founded by a religious variable, then so be it; but in the end, she is the one that has to answer to herself long before she is required to answer to anyone else.
#15
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
Three people who aren't getting it. Thanks for trying though.
If you look beyond your own definition regarding what actually drives the motivation/decision to engage (or not) in pre-marital sex; you might develop an understanding of the variables involved.
Not everyone engages religious ideals in making their individual decisions regarding their life choices.
+1
#16Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
[QUOTE=Corduroy;1449159
Three people who aren't getting it. Thanks for trying though.[/QUOTE]
From what you say.............."This attitude has always confused me. Of course, her explanation is a religious one, and religious explanations are nonsensical and arbitrary. But considering it rationally, I believe there's no logical connection between sex and morality.", it's obvious you are the one whose not "getting it", sex is a matter between two people and is REALLY none of your business. As far as I'm concerned ANY reason for two people to have sex or NOT is no concern of mine. YOu need something constructive to put your mind to.
Three people who aren't getting it. Thanks for trying though.[/QUOTE]
From what you say.............."This attitude has always confused me. Of course, her explanation is a religious one, and religious explanations are nonsensical and arbitrary. But considering it rationally, I believe there's no logical connection between sex and morality.", it's obvious you are the one whose not "getting it", sex is a matter between two people and is REALLY none of your business. As far as I'm concerned ANY reason for two people to have sex or NOT is no concern of mine. YOu need something constructive to put your mind to.
Quote: Originally Posted by captain morgan
Right on............Do you think the matter is really ANYONE ELSE'S business? If you look beyond your own definition regarding what actually drives the motivation/decision to engage (or not) in pre-marital sex; you might develop an understanding of the variables involved.
Not everyone engages religious ideals in making their individual decisions regarding their life choices.
+1
#17Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
OK then... so is there anyone on this forum that actually understands the question I'm asking?
#18
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
You asked three questions..............1. .Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong?2. Or that promiscuity is wrong? 3. Or that virginity is a form of purity? OK then... so is there anyone on this forum that actually understands the question I'm asking?
1. Who cares? 2. It can be and 3. It can be.
#19
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
You're not having sex with your roommate? I thought everyone did that. My roommate and I were talking earlier, and she mentioned that she and her boyfriend of some years were waiting for marriage to have sex. I had no idea. Despite her religiosity, I had just assumed they were doin' it. This attitude has always confused me. Of course, her explanation is a religious one, and religious explanations are nonsensical and arbitrary. But considering it rationally, I believe there's no logical connection between sex and morality. It's not a matter of a bad argument; it's just a total non sequitur.
So I'm curious if someone here, who might feel the same way as my roommate, could explain it to me.
Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
you are hoping for a non religious, non moral justification for what they are doing, no?OK then... so is there anyone on this forum that actually understands the question I'm asking?
#20
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
[QUOTE=cranky;
you are hoping for a non religious, non moral justification for what they are doing, no?[/QUOTE]
Maybe she should mind her own business!
you are hoping for a non religious, non moral justification for what they are doing, no?[/QUOTE]
Maybe she should mind her own business!
#21
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
Premarital sex is wrong. The reason why you are suppose to wait until marriage is because your virginity is a gift to your partner and vice versa. It "cements" the marriage with the gift you give each other.Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
+3
#22Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
Virginity is a form of purity, yes. A vrigin does not carry sexually transmitted diseases, plain and simple. To attempt to keep people virgins (honest virgins, not today's 'take my ass instead' version), until they monogamously mate, is to attempt to keep viruses and bacterias from sickening your population. If you look at the religious origins of edicts on virginity, they tend to come from Leviticus, which is essentially the how to manual of not spreading disease. Practical? Effective? Is it a spiritual form of purity? no.
Is there anyone here who believes that premarital sex is wrong? Or that promiscuity is wrong? Or that virginity is a form of purity?
Is promiscuity wrong? Depends on the context. If my husband decides to be promisuous and not tell me, it's all kinds of wrong and few people would argue otherwise.
Is premarital sex wrong? Again, it's a context issue. If you believe it's wrong for you, then it's wrong.
Goodness knows it doesn't hurt anyone for two people to wait. But, I've seen it hurt plenty of people to have sex before they were mentally ready for it.
#23
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by karrie
Looks to me that what you're really arguing is that not having diseases is a form of purity. One can be sexually active and not have a sexually transmitted disease.Virginity is a form of purity, yes. A vrigin does not carry sexually transmitted diseases, plain and simple. To attempt to keep people virgins (honest virgins, not today's 'take my ass instead' version), until they monogamously mate, is to attempt to keep viruses and bacterias from sickening your population. If you look at the religious origins of edicts on virginity, they tend to come from Leviticus, which is essentially the how to manual of not spreading disease. Practical? Effective? Is it a spiritual form of purity? no.
The first time I had sex it was with another virgin. Did we both lose some kind of purity then? Neither of us could have given the other any kind of disease.
Quote:
I'm asking about promiscuity itself. The context you provided and the answer you've given makes it another issue: extra-marital sex, which I've already said I'm not talking about.Is promiscuity wrong? Depends on the context. If my husband decides to be promisuous and not tell me, it's all kinds of wrong and few people would argue otherwise.
Is it wrong for a single person to sleep with a lot of people?
Quote:
Can I assume that by your relativist position you don't believe that it's wrong?Is premarital sex wrong? Again, it's a context issue. If you believe it's wrong for you, then it's wrong.
Quote: Originally Posted by cranky
No. I'm asking for a logical argument on the morality pre-marital sex. Non-religious yes, but it's certainly moral. This is a question of morality.you are hoping for a non religious, non moral justification for what they are doing, no?
#24
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
Would that be purity ... or innocence? Innocence lost can't be reclaimed. The added loss comes when you've had better....
#25
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
[QUOTE=Corduroy;Is it wrong for a single person to sleep with a lot of people?
.[/QUOTE]
All at the same time?
.[/QUOTE]
All at the same time?
#26
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by Corduroy
Is not having diseases a form of purity? yes. Is it possible to be sexually active without catching diseases? Yes. But does that dismiss it as part of the original reasoning behind pushing for virginity? no. Looks to me that what you're really arguing is that not having diseases is a form of purity. One can be sexually active and not have a sexually transmitted disease.
The first time I had sex it was with another virgin. Did we both lose some kind of purity then? Neither of us could have given the other any kind of disease.
I'm asking about promiscuity itself. The context you provided and the answer you've given makes it another issue: extra-marital sex, which I've already said I'm not talking about.
Is it wrong for a single person to sleep with a lot of people?
Can I assume that by your relativist position you don't believe that it's wrong?
Do I believe that premarital sex is wrong....
No, I don't believe it was the wrong choice for me, but, I married the only man I had consentual 'pre-matiral' sex with. There is little in this world that is as relativistic as sex. There are no concrete answers. Some people ought to wait. Some people have a very emotional, spiritual connection to the notion of sex.
I'm certainly not going to go along and attempt to strip it of their romantic notions.
#27
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011
"Is premarital sex wrong? Again, it's a context issue. If you believe it's wrong for you, then it's wrong."
Off the cuff, Karrie, I whole heartedly agreed with that statement, but after thinking it over I put it to the acid test. When you take some act that is a little more nefarious, can you honestly say "if you believe it's right, then it's right"? Now I'm really screwed up!
Off the cuff, Karrie, I whole heartedly agreed with that statement, but after thinking it over I put it to the acid test. When you take some act that is a little more nefarious, can you honestly say "if you believe it's right, then it's right"? Now I'm really screwed up!
+1
#28Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by JLM
"Is premarital sex wrong? Again, it's a context issue. If you believe it's wrong for you, then it's wrong."
Off the cuff, Karrie, I whole heartedly agreed with that statement, but after thinking it over I put it to the acid test. When you take some act that is a little more nefarious, can you honestly say "if you believe it's right, then it's right"? Now I'm really screwed up!
No, because few things 'nefarious' are like what we're talking about, where they truly impact no one but the participants.
If two people decide to have sex before marriage, it really victimizes no one. The wrongness of it is entirely mental/emotional/spiritual.
#29
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by karrie
You are so wise, Karrie. No, because few things 'nefarious' are like what we're talking about, where they truly impact no one but the participants.
If two people decide to have sex before marriage, it really victimizes no one. The wrongness of it is entirely mental/emotional/spiritual.
#30
Re: Sex and morality
Jul 6th, 2011Quote: Originally Posted by karrie
That's beside the point. The purity ultimately has nothing to do with virginity. The purity is lack of disease. And the question was whether virginity was a form of purity, not disease.Is not having diseases a form of purity? yes. Is it possible to be sexually active without catching diseases? Yes. But does that dismiss it as part of the original reasoning behind pushing for virginity? no.
Quote:
Why should some people ought to wait? What's the difference between them and you? How does that difference make pre-marital sex inappropriate and marital sex appropriate?Do I believe that premarital sex is wrong....
No, I don't believe it was the wrong choice for me, but, I married the only man I had consentual 'pre-matiral' sex with. There is little in this world that is as relativistic as sex. There are no concrete answers. Some people ought to wait. Some people have a very emotional, spiritual connection to the notion of sex.
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