Migration

leo_01
#1
is it hard to migrate to Canada?..what does one need to become Canadian?
 
Cliffy
#2
One needs to love hockey and beer (real beer, not that watered down Yanky swill), love or hate pot (no middle ground allowed), think Yankies are war mongers, Obama is the messiah, the french should go back to France, First Nations people are all lazy alcoholics, the government owes you a living, we have the best health care system in the world, be a fat mindless consumer and hate anybody who is not a fundamentalist christian.

Reprogram your mind to embrace all that and you should have no problem getting in the country and receiving a fat government cheque every month for the rest of your life. Oh, I forgot, you have to be a rabbid conservative. According to Yukon Jack all liberal thinking people are the scurge of humanity, the lowest life form on the planet. I hope you find this useful in you quest to become a Canadian, eh!
 
JLM
#3
Quote: Originally Posted by Cliffy View Post

One needs to love hockey and beer (real beer, not that watered down Yanky swill), love or hate pot (no middle ground allowed), think Yankies are war mongers, Obama is the messiah, the french should go back to France, First Nations people are all lazy alcoholics, the government owes you a living, we have the best health care system in the world, be a fat mindless consumer and hate anybody who is not a fundamentalist christian.

Reprogram your mind to embrace all that and you should have no problem getting in the country and receiving a fat government cheque every month for the rest of your life. Oh, I forgot, you have to be a rabbid conservative. According to Yukon Jack all liberal thinking people are the scurge of humanity, the lowest life form on the planet. I hope you find this useful in you quest to become a Canadian, eh!

And once you are here (and it helps if you are physically and mentally handicapped and can't speak English) you are automatically out qualify anyone else (especially white, English speaking, born in Canada citizens) for a getting a job in any profession. Also if you happen to commit any serious crimes like homicide by car racing they won't deport you.
 
shadowshiv
#4
Hopefully some serious answers will appear in this thread.
 
bobnoorduyn
#5
With all joking and cynicism aside, it depends on a number of things; where you are emigrating from, whether you have any professional qualifications, if you have a job waiting for you here, whether you have a sponsor etc. Preference is given to those from certain countries, these countries vary depending on immigration policies put in place by past governments. At the moment we still have a department run by Liberal appointees and some policies still relflect those views. If you are coming from the UK, Western Europe, the Netherlands or Scandinavia, you may want to take up residence in Jamaica first, (well, maybe that is a bit cyinical). A freind of mine has been here for almost ten years and, (apparently) ran afoul of the immigration department and was nearly deported recently. Under the policy du jour, Brits were last on the list, behind refugees, Somolian war criminals and Jamaican gangsters. He could only immigrate if he had money and started his own business. Under that provision he cannot be covered by our health care until his business shows a profit and he pays taxes for two years, nor can he buy his own health insurance, that is the law. His case is still under review.

Search the government web sites, but like any government website, they can be hard to navigate through. Then you may want to consult with an immigration lawyer, doing the homework first can save a lot of grief later. But beware, there are a lot of hidden rules, and some get made up on the fly.
 
JLM
#6
Quote: Originally Posted by shadowshiv View Post

Hopefully some serious answers will appear in this thread.

It all depends on whether you want to be serious about what happens on paper or what happens in real life. One just has to look at what happens to foreign gangsters who reside here knowing the chances of deportation are slim at best.
 
china
#7
So ,you want to live in Canada.......?
Why ? ,,,,have you lived in Canada before ?
 
Liberalman
#8
They seem to be letting in the terrorist Tamil Tigers from Sri Lanka
 
Liberalman
#9
Do you know how to drive a taxi cab this might help you.
 
YukonJack
#10
" According to Yukon Jack all liberal thinking people are the scurge of humanity, the lowest life form on the planet. I hope you find this useful in you quest to become a Canadian, eh!"

You just proved my point, that you so eloquently - albeit undeservingly - attributed to me, Cliffy!

You are a liberal troll who takes perverse pleasure in picking fights when none is warranted or necessary.
 
DurkaDurka
#11
Pay me $10,000 and I will have your immigration expedited with the highest authorities in the land.
 
Cliffy
#12
Quote: Originally Posted by YukonJack View Post

" According to Yukon Jack all liberal thinking people are the scurge of humanity, the lowest life form on the planet. I hope you find this useful in you quest to become a Canadian, eh!"

You just proved my point, that you so eloquently - albeit undeservingly - attributed to me, Cliffy!

You are a liberal troll who takes perverse pleasure in picking fights when none is warranted or necessary.

I'm an anarchist and I'm not picking a fight, I'm picking you nose.
 
YukonJack
#13
"I'm picking you nose. "

And you would find more intelligence in my snot than in your entire brain. And I use the word "brain" in your case with a great degree of generousity.
 
JLM
#14
Quote: Originally Posted by YukonJack View Post

"I'm picking you nose. "

And you would find more intelligence in my snot than in your entire brain. And I use the word "brain" in your case with a great degree of generousity.

I wouldn't bet my pension cheque on it, Y.J. In the snot department you might win, but in the brain department, Cliff may just have you out shadowed by a C- hair.
 
DurkaDurka
#15
Quote: Originally Posted by JLM View Post

I wouldn't bet my pension cheque on it, Y.J. In the snot department you might win, but in the brain department, Cliff may just have you out shadowed by a C- hair.

God, I love C-Hair references
 
YukonJack
#16
So, JLM, let's have a tag team match.

You and your idol, Cliffy against me and my snot.

Now that I see DurkaDurka's message make it a three against two handicap match.

Care to place a bet?

(I can't believe I sank this low just to humour a couple/three of liberal idiots).
 
L Gilbert
#17
It really isn't that hard to become Canadian if you are willing to jump through 4000 hoops (the legal way).
This may help:
Becoming a citizen
 
DurkaDurka
#18
Quote: Originally Posted by YukonJack View Post

So, JLM, let's have a tag team match.

You and your idol, Cliffy against me and my snot.

Now that I see DurkaDurka's message make it a three against two handicap match.

Care to place a bet?

(I can't believe I sank this low just to humour a couple/three of liberal idiots).

Yukon, do you like Turkish Spa's?
 
L Gilbert
#19
Turkish spa's what? Turkish spa's water? Spa's towels?
 
Cliffy
#20
Quote: Originally Posted by YukonJack View Post

So, JLM, let's have a tag team match.

You and your idol, Cliffy against me and my snot.

Now that I see DurkaDurka's message make it a three against two handicap match.

Care to place a bet?

(I can't believe I sank this low just to humour a couple/three of liberal idiots).

Now, see what I mean? I have never called you an idiot. In fact I have never heard anybody call you an idiot. But you call people that all the time and then have the audacity to complain about others picking on you. Nasty and hatelful, Jack. Wear it with pride.
 
DurkaDurka
#21
Quote: Originally Posted by L Gilbert View Post

Turkish spa's what? Turkish spa's water? Spa's towels?



Are you in there Yukon? Enough hide and seek already, lets go to the spa!
 
L Gilbert
#22
Leo: please excuse these people, some days it just seems like a lot of people take a dose of childishness and play for a while. lol Me included sometimes.
 
YukonJack
#23
"Now, see what I mean? I have never called you an idiot."

Stop being sanctimonious, Cliffy!!!

You have called me - and others of your ilk - far worse than "idiot", repeatedly, time after time.

And then you go and call me nasty and hateful.

Tsk, tsk!!!
 
YukonJack
#24
Response to #21.

Congratulations DurkaDurka!!!!

How does it feel to snuggle up to your mother's snatch in public view???

And then go and put it for all to see?
 
DurkaDurka
#25
Quote: Originally Posted by YukonJack View Post

Response to #21.

Congratulations DurkaDurka!!!!

How does it feel to snuggle up to your mother's snatch in public view???

And then go and put it for all to see?

What are you doing in my mothers snatch?
 
china
#26
'leo_01,

After this 'intelligent conversation' with the real Canadians, do you still want to move to Canada ?
 
leo_01
#27
i dont think it wil be easy right.

there might be loads of checking and approval needed.
 
bobnoorduyn
#28
Quote: Originally Posted by leo_01 View Post

i dont think it wil be easy right.

there might be loads of checking and approval needed.

I don't have the links to todays paper, but one article was about a Dutch woman, married to a Canadian who is about to be deported in 10 days to Holland where her abusive and homicidal ex will have access to her, and another about an alleged Bosnian war criminal who escaped prison there and claimed refugee status here and was just released from custody pending his hearing. Try and figure that out.
 
leo_01
#29
are you serious? gosh ...
 

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