Kamikaze goose destroys Skoda

Kamikaze goose destroys Skoda

Gander-monium ... Tony Deakin by his window which was smashed by a Canada goose (inset) Goose's blood

March 27, 2007

LUCKY Martyn Ranyard had an amazing escape when a GOOSE smashed through a car windscreen and smacked him in the face.

The IT manager, 25, was left covered in blood and feathers after the bizarre collision, which happened at 70mph on a motorway.

Martyn was being driven home from a business meeting in boss Tony Deakin’s Skoda when the two-stone bird fell from the sky.

Road safety experts said yesterday that the pair’s survival was “nothing short of a miracle”.

Martyn said: “One minute I was chatting and the next I saw this huge bird plummeting down.

“I just froze as I saw it hurtling towards me. It came like it had been fired straight at me.”

Martyn, of Keighley, West Yorks, did not even have time to throw up his hands to protect his face.

He said: “I just closed my eyes and braced myself — I heard a loud smash and felt a massive slap which knocked my head back. I was covered head to toe in blood, feathers and glass.”

The combined speed of the bird — which may have been shot by a farmer — and Tony’s S-reg silver Fabia was more than 100mph.

Dad-of-four Tony, 64, said: “Something smashed through the windscreen and walloped Martyn in the face.

“I hadn’t a clue what had happened — then I realised there was a dead goose in the car.

“Martyn was covered in blood. He just kept screaming.”

Computer firm boss Tony fought to control the car on the M5 near West Bromwich.
He drove Martyn to hospital but both were later released.

Hypnosis-fan Martyn put himself in a TRANCE to calm down — and took the train home rather than get back in Tony’s battered motor.

Now he always checks for low-flying birds when he is in a car.

He said: “The chances of it happening again are millions to one — but then what was the chance of it happening in the first place?”

AA safety chief Andrew Howard praised Tony’s driving. He said: “I’ve not heard of a goose smashing through a windscreen before.”

Finally! Someone else has had something like this happen to them and it made the news this time!

While I dealt with no blood or guts, here's my story:

I used to drive a large Ford Van selling orchid plants all over the US East. I had just come down the gorge on I-40 E near mile marker 72 or so. I saw 2 large turkey buzzards swoop about 70 ft in front of my van. I looked down at the road at the dead beast they were after. I looked up and saw the smaller/younger of the two cut BACK in front of me. I tried to slow down, but it was too late. The damn thing busts my windshield in and rolls over top of the van. I slow way down and pull over rather quickly (for some reason I am lucky enough to have never panicked when something crazy has happened to me on the road....like the time my airbag went off in my face at 60 mph).

The bird was gone. My windshield was completely caved inward except for a 6 inch wide strip on the driver's side. My windshield wipers were bent outwards, the glass was starting to fall apart, and there were two dirty skidmarks leading up my hood to the severely-pushed-in windshield WHICH had all these teeny-tiny feathers stuck in it.

SO I called my boss (a man who, upon finding out that I was in Washington DC with a leaky gas tank said, "Uh, just put some chewing gum in the hole"). Bossman tells me to drive the 7 miles back to the shop in present condition. I called the Highway Patrol and a lady told me that if I got pulled over, to tell the officer that this woman had said I could drive this way, as my boss was too cheap to have AAA or to call a towtruck. I drove the distance looking through a 6-inch-wide pane of glass as the rest was billowing tiny chunks of itself onto the dashboard.

I got back to the greenhouses. I showed a manager the damage. He laughed. I found out later that the big bossman thought I had broken the windsheild and had lied about it.

oy vey.

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