"WE'RE IN JAIL, DUDE... AAAAAAAAGH... GODAMMIT... F***... GOD, F***ING S**T... THIS SUCKS."
WORDS used by US Air Force pilots after they had attacked L/Cpl Matty Hull's marked convoy, either through poor training, woeful judgment, or a gungho desire to play with their shoot 'em up joy-sticks.
Words which show a lamentable lack of professionalism and maturity.
Words which will surely make future generations ask why British servicemen were forced to fight America's war for oil alongside the juvenile cast of the cartoon show South Park?
Well, did those American pilots sound any different from Cartman and Kenny?
Didn't the Pentagon basically slap the same disclaimer on footage of L/Cpl Hull's death that appears at the start of every South Park episode: "The following programme contains coarse language and, due to its contents, should not be viewed by anyone."?
And how many times over the years, when "friendly fire" has taken out their own, must air traffic controllers have yelled: "Oh, my God, they killed Kenny... Bastards."
There is nothing funny about Matty Hull's tragic murder but my, how the Yanks have added a comic slant.
According to US Central Command, it regrets this tape going public in case "it gives the enemy a glimpse of our capability".
Capability? To what? Kill for the sake of killing. A spokesman for Matty Hull's Household Cavalry colleagues says that they are glad this tape has come to light, because it shows "the Americans are cowboys".
And the facts at the time of his death back up the slur. In 2003 alone, American friendly fire claimed 16 British servicemen, five American and an ITV camera crew. A bus full of Syrian workers was blown up, and 33 Kurds were murdered in their village. And it was nothing new. During the first Gulf War, 24 per cent of American deaths were caused by their own guns.
Who can forget their slaughter of the Afghan wedding party, or the 64 Albanian refugees killed on tractors as they fled Kosovo?
That's before we count the thousands of Iraqis wiped out by the Washington doctrine of Minimum Lethal Force. A phrase as bizarrely contradictory as healthy corpses. Or friendly fire.
But maybe we should ask the question: what came first, the cowboys or the cowboy state? Look at the Commander-In- Chief, who ordered troops into battle with no legal reason and no clear objectives other than to kill for revenge in some mythical war on terror.
Remember when George Bush said that al-Qaeda members were wanted dead or alive and compared his battle with Osama bin Laden to a Wild West shoot-out?
How, when he announced on TV that he had ordered the carpet bombing of Iraq, he was caught off-mic, saying: "Ah feel good." Remember how he greets his faithful, trigger-happy pardner-in-crime with the words: "Yo, Blair!"
I can just imagine Bush phoning up Downing Street after another deadly calamity and saying: "Yo, Blair... God f***ing s**t... This sucks."
And I can only pray that, one day, Yo Blair yells back: "We're in jail, dude... aaaaaaaagh."