Order, order some extra rolls of loo paper, please: House of Commons is caught short


Blackleaf
#1
Britain's politicians are famous for producing a load of s**t, so you would think they would ensure that there is plenty of toilet paper at the Palace of Westminster.

But the "Honourable Members" were left desperate yesterday as it emerged that staff responsible for looking after the Commons toilets began to report in the morning that cubicles in the gentlemen's toilets could not be restocked because of a supply problem.

Panic ensued across the Palace, leaving some members to send their staff to the Tesco Metro across the road to buy supplies. Supplies were even stolen from the ladies' toilets, which hadn't run out.

Of course, the Commons has been disrupted many times over the centuries. Flour, leaflets and even manure have been thrown at politicians by protestors and, in 1642, King Charles I entered the Commons Chamber with an armed force in order to arrest five members for high treason. Because of that event, the Monarch has been barred from entering the Commons ever since.

Order, order some extra rolls of loo paper, please: House of Commons is caught short

By Tim Shipman
02nd December 2009
Daily Mail


Shortage: MPs sent out their staff to buy toilet paper from a nearby supermarket after the House of Commons ran out

The House of Commons was yesterday suffering from an unusual shortage of white papers - toilet papers, that is.

MPs and peers were left desperate after officials in the Palace of Westminster were caught short by a lack of loo roll.

Staff responsible for replenishing the Commons toilets began to report mid-morning that those cubicles out of paper could not be restocked because of a supply shortage.

When word of the crisis spread around the Palace, frantic staff rushed to locate the remaining toilet paper.



MPs sent out their staff to buy up toilet paper from the Tesco Metro across the road from Parliament.

Just when it seemed that the reputation of honourable members could sink no lower, there were reports of pre-emptive raids on ladies loos, where the supply had yet to run out.

One MP compared the situation to the failure of the Ministry of Defence to supply kit to British troops in the field.

He said that MoD officials and the private company contracted to supply the loo roll both use a 'just in time' procurement system, which broke down.

'Soldiers missed out on body armour but even they had supplies of toilet roll,' the Labour member said.

The company responsible for supplying the Commons is KGB, which stands for Kevan and Gina Brown, the firm's owners.

They confirmed that the paper shortage had become a problem. 'There has been an issue with supplies. But it will be sorted out as soon as possible,' a member of staff said.

Last night an emergency order was rushed in to relieve MPs and peers.

A Commons spokesman said: 'I have spoken to the cleaners and there are now adequate supplies of toilet paper.'

Sessions of the House of Commons have been subjected to unusual disruptions in the past.

Angry protesters have thrown objects into the Chamber from the galleries. The chosen missiles have included manure, flour, leaflets and a canister of tear gas.



But one of the most famous disruptions in history occurred when King Charles I entered the Commons Chamber in 1642 with an armed force in order to arrest five members for high treason.

As a result the tradition of monarchs not being allowed to set foot in the House of Commons was born.

dailymail.co.uk
 
FiveParadox
#2


Fabulous story, thank you! I love the notes of drama and intrigue.
 
AnnaG
#3
lol
I suppose no-one thought of using the paper towels for drying hands? Or perhaps pols don't wash their hands after doing you-know-what.
 

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