How the hell could anybody not mention this yet:
^ With her giant Honker, pedophile husband and crappy music she doesn't write herself (Yes, I can and will be harsh)
She should head back to Las Vegas to be won in a bet by someone in the middle east, then takes her back there and we never see her again.
Speaking of Honkers, but in the sense of voice passing through the nose:
^ Jezuz, how the hell did she get famous again? I bet if I stuck a carrot up my arse, twisted and screamed through my nose, I could sell a few million copies too. Oh wait..... I'd have to out do her and scream through my ears.
And I know I'm really going to hell for this one, but here goes:
^ That's right.... the Friendly Giant..... suck it all in, I said it.
"One little chair for one of you, and a bigger chair for two to curl up in, and for someone who likes to rock, a rocking chair in the middle. Now look up..... Look Waaaayyyyy Up..... and I'll call Rusty."
That damn quote has been engrained into my brain since the age of 2 and I can not wipe it from my memory no matter how much vodka and dope I saturate it with...... before you know it, I'm staggering downtown, screaming at the top of my lungs:
"LOOK UP! LOOK WAAAAAAAAAA......
hic.... and I'LL CALL RUSTY!!!"
And me being a decent amount above the average height, closer to the 7' then the 6' mark, it kinda works, but that's not the point! That man turned me into a drunk by the age of 5 *chucks bottle at photo on the desk*
~ Cheap B*stard! He always liked Rusty better!!!
^ No not just this dim wit..... then entire show. How the hell did this show last so long and become so popular in the first place? Is it really that boring out west?? No screwed up drug deals, no attempts to thwart Mr. Lahey's plans to become trailer park supervisor..... again.... no swearing..... just half-assed-rip-off Seinfeld jokes..... and Seinfeld wasn't even that funny either.
^ Fall Out Boy..... Gawd.... when witll all this Emo crap end? The singer's got a decent voice, I'll give em that, but them mutton chops ain't helping you look any thiner buddy, and compensating with your emo cool-wannabe guitarist who isn't really all that talented in the first place and is only in the band cuz the ladies like him, ain't helping things. Realize your place in the music industry, accept it, and just fade away.
That's it for now, but don't worry, I'll be back.