Bitter Billabongs!

"Bitter billabongs!" cried the strange Australian, who crept around the creek after the flood.

"I can't believe it's still here! The water, I mean. It didn't evaporate or fill up with salties. Crikey! But it smells horrible! Like a thousand crocs shat in the drink! It's amazing what a 16 footer can sh!t out!"

Ozzie wrangles an 18 ft saltie.

Born in the Outback, Ozzie Nelson moved to Darwin and lived near a tidal pool where thousands of salt water crocs hung out. Ozzie loved tourists, but his buddies the crocs loved them more. Ozzie's Saurian neighbours waited patiently every day to drag another unsuspecting British tourist into the water.

"Nobody likes Brits." Ozzie said. "Except for the salties. We always send the poms down to the huts by the creek to sleep. We tell'em it's for the 'real Australian experience'. There's no dunny in the hut, so when they wake up in the middle of the night to take a piss, the crocs are there and ready."

You can see a full episode of Northern Australian Adventures with Ozzie Nelson tonight at 7PM on ABC. Rated TV-14.
bill barilko
Typical Billabong action Down Unda

The Oz government thinks that there are over 20 million wild pigs. The males can get over 300 lb., and like most wild piggies, are fast and strong enough to stick human who get too close. Varmint hunting. I could have done without all the flies. I guess that's to be expected down at the water's edge.

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