Many Straight Men Have Gay Sex

Nearly 10% of Self-Proclaimed 'Straight' Men Only Have Sex With Men
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WebMD Medical News
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-- Nearly one in 10 men who say they're straight have sex only with other men, a New York City survey finds.
And 70% of those straight-identified men having sex with men are married.
In fact, 10% of all married men in this survey report same-sex behaviour during the past year.
This means safe-sex messages aimed at straight and gay men are likely missing this important subgroup, suggest Preeti Pathela, DrPH, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, and colleagues.
"To reduce the burden of sexually transmitted diseases and HIV infection among men who have sex with men, it is of utmost importance for [health care] providers to take a sexual history that ascertains the sex of a partner," Pathela and colleagues report. "Asking about a patient's sexual identity will not adequately assess his risk."
Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men

In 2003, Pathela's team performed telephone interviews with nearly 4,200 New York City men. They conducted the interviews in English, Spanish, Chinese, and Russian; a translation service helped with interviews in Greek, Korean, Yiddish, Polish, and Haitian Creole.
In nearly every study of sexual behaviour, the percentage of men who report sex with men is higher than the percentage of men who report being gay.
So Pathela and colleagues first asked the men if they were bisexual, gay, or straight. Then they asked about specific sexual behaviours.
Some of the findings:

• Straight-identified men who have sex with men report fewer sex partners than gay men.
• Straight-identified men who have sex with men report fewer STDs in the past year than gay men.
• Straight-identified men who have sex with men are less likely than gay men to report using a condom during their last sexual encounter.
• Straight-identified men who have sex with men are more likely to be foreign born than gay men.

Also, a man who says he is straight but is having sex with other men is more likely to be married than a straight man who has sex with women, according to the survey. Only 54% of the men who say they're straight and have sex with women are married, compared with the 70% marriage rate among the men who say they're straight but have sex with men.
Pathela and colleagues note that because they report fewer STDs and fewer sex partners than gay men, straight-identified men who have sex with men may think they are at lower risk of HIV and STDs. This isn't necessarily so.
The men with whom these straight-identified men have sex may themselves have multiple sex partners and elevated STD and HIV risk. The low rate of condom use makes the straight-identified men vulnerable.
"Prevention messages should focus on the activities that pose risk -- for example, unprotected receptive anal sex -- and should not be framed to appeal solely to gay-identified men," Pathela and colleagues suggest.
The findings appear in the Sept. 19 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

You are one in a 10 ....padre.

Indeed. I have the "honour" of never having had any sort of sexual conduct with another male..and oddly enough, do not seem to yearn for it either

100% of men are homosexuals - except for all the heterosexual ones.

I thought everyone realized given penitentiary or solitary situations in which there are only males co-existing as a group for a lengthy period of time, homosexuality will be practiced. Very few men will abstain from having sex even with another male - their drive is that strong. As for homosexual traits all humans have them to varying degrees - but rarely have the need to recognize or practice them.

Again we have a situation where an organized religion bases some of its teachings against what nature dictates and makes sins out of human behavior.

God is seen to many as a dictator rather than a beneficent creator through the eyes of man-made worship.

Am I the only one who sees the flaw in this? How can you say 7% (70% of 10%) only have sex with men, when they are married? The assumption would be they've had or are having sex with women as well... not exclusively with men. Perhaps I'm reading it wrong.

BTW... when I go in for my yearly physical, on the fancy little form that asks '# of sexual partners this year', I write 100 of mixed gender.

I love my hubby, and trust him with all my heart, but I think the medical profession is stupidly naive to let women skip viral screening based on trusting the word of a man the doc has probably never even met.

Anytime and doc asks me why I would put that, I point out how ridiculous it is, given the statistics, for them to assume that any woman isn't being exposed to risk by their husband (and vice versa I might add).

When I saw this thread I thought WMG came back

First of all, men who have sex only with other men are not straight. That statement alone pulls this topic apart. Men who have sex with other men are gay.

These are likely men who have altogether ceased having sexual relations with their wives. There are many, many, sexless marriages out there.

Calmecam

Why would a sexless marriage direct males to have sex with other males..... why not other females?

OK, now bite your tongue.

Probably similar logic as with Bill Clinton and the petrie dish. If its with another man it may not be cheating in their mind.

okay... how one identifies their sexuality is subject to a sliding scale. There are plenty of guys who could, if pressed, with no other option at hand, have a grunt or two with another man, and not find that gay. Getting your rocks off is quite different from forming an emotional bond, kissing, holding hands, etc, in the minds of plenty of men. And Ski, you're probably right.... for many men it probably doesn't constitute cheating. For plenty of wives it's also possibly a preferable route for hubby to take.

For a man who is predominantly straight, there will be no traipsing off into the sunset head over heels in love with Steve, shattering the family.

Whether the marriage is sexless or not has no bearing on the issue (the sexless marriage response dealt specifically with the issue of explaining how it could be possible that 7% of married men have sex ONLY with other men but NOT their spouse). If the person in question happens to be bisexual, they could very well still be enjoying healthy sexual relations with their spouse and STILL be having a little "sumthin'-sumthin'" on the side.

The term "men who have sex with other men" (or MSM) is a term that has been created to identify the homosexuals and bisexuals of the world who are too hypocritical to actually call themselves what they actually are.

Some truly believe if they do everything with someone of the same sex but kiss they are still heterosexual!

However, to answer the question about the reason(s) for which married men would seek to have sex with other men...

Despite current laws and rights, there is still a significant proportion of the population that, even today, has such hatred toward homosexuals that they believe they are "abominations", "pedophiles", "going straight to Hell", or that they should have no rights whatsoever, or even worse, that they should be locked up or put to death.

Now go back to the 50s or 60s (or earlier) when those attitudes were dominant in society. Many men who were gay or bisexual all along, but not as free to live their lives as they are today, simply repressed themselves and did what was considered socially acceptable and got married (aka "get me to the Church on time"). An alternate route was to join the clergy.

Now that societal attitudes have changed a good deal, and given that that which is repressed eventually resurfaces (and generally when it does, it is gangbusters!), many men are allowing themselves to be who they always were.

Unfortunately, not all people are ethical enough to end their marriages BEFORE they do that, which is one of the reasons all women (and men) should get tested for STDs and STIs regularly. You just NEVER know what you're husband (or wife) is doing, and what he (she) is bringing home, when you are not looking (and if it is not with another man, it can be with another woman, or a sex-trade worker -- male or female).

What with all the marriages that end in divorce as a result of adultery, do you really take your spouse at his or her word when it comes to trusting them with your life?

There IS a reason that the chant "2, 4, 6, 8, is your boyfriend (girlfriend) really straight?", has been repeated loud and clear at Pride parades throughout the years.

Incidents of HIV, Hepatitis-C and other STDs and STIs are rising quickly among recently divorced people re-joining the dating game, older people (often recently widowed seniors who are still sexually active -- thank you Cialis and Viagra!), and heterosexual women because they believe they are so "secure" in their relationships and lifestyles, or that these things are "gay diseases", and therefore that they are not at risk.

Ironically enough, even today with all the rights and laws, the societal pressure to conform (particularly within cultures where religion still plays a strong role) STILL leads men who are not entirely heterosexual to get married. In many cultures, a blind eye will willingly be granted if the male "does his duty" by getting married and making it so that his wife pops out a little one, so long as he keeps his indiscretions on the DL (down-low).

As has been stated, for some, the behaviour can be rationalized as "not cheating" if it is with someone of the same sex.

Others yet think they are "still straight" so long as are still having sexual relations with someone of the opposite sex. They have managed to convince themselves that they are "straight-looking and straight-acting" despite the fact they are having occasional or frequent relations with someone of the same sex (aka "Since I am married to a woman, this penis in my mouth COULDN'T POSSIBLY make me look gay.")

Calmecam

Interesting - and I confess I am confused for you seem determined to build a cast on men who disguise their primary sexual urges regarding gender preference.

There are so many degrees of preference, it is impossible to label all people as one or the other with the convenient 'bi' in the middle.

When we admit sexuality is not a life style nor even a goal - but a preference or desire - which may or may not include both genders we may recognize we humans as having many differentiations which dogmatic society, whipped on by 'religion' serves to create creatures which we are not.

If the majority prefer one sex lovemaking - they have an easy life - and even then they still stray - same gender - new person - so we are always on the hunt whether we will admit it or not.

Ergo, we haven't risen much above the animal stage when it comes to satisfying our most basic urge - having sex.

There is nothing wrong - only fooling ourselves into thinking we are 'above' these urges is where humans go wrong and then they built religious reasons for the 'wrongness' of nature.

Without sex - there would be few religions - only laws concerning rights of mankind.

Calmecam... I am in stitches after reading your last sentence in parentheses!

TOO FUNNY!

What sentence.. I don't see a sentence... there's no inappropriate sentence there is there? *scratches head in confusion and walks away*

Karrie

(aka "Since I am married to a woman, this penis in my mouth COULDN'T POSSIBLY make me look gay.")

Eaglesmack - ???

We had a funny, fun spirited debate many years ago at a pub.

What constitutes gay?

The reason it came up was because there was a hazing incident at a HS in which the boys did what they call a "Tea Bag" on a boy or boys that were being held down. I will not get into what tea bagging is to not offend folks.

At any rate... I said the boys that did the tea bagging are gay. They willfully did an act that was sexual in nature on another. Now don't get me wrong. I am not knocking gay people or grouping these punks with law abiding gay people. What I am saying again is that they willfully did that. The victim is not because he was forced.

So in jest the bartender says. "OK... what about an actor who plays a gay guy on TV?"
"Does he kiss the guy on the show?" another guy said
"Yes" said the bartender
"He's Gay"

So the bartender laughs and says "NO WAY!"
Another guy adds "I do not care if it happened once. I don't care if you were drunk. Once you have any sort of gay act... you're forever gay. You can marry and have 20 kids and NEVER touch another man again... you're still gay."

To each his own I say. But I also say "You are what you are."

But forcing another into some kind of sexual acting out isn't really sex at all.....

It could be rape if successfully forced - even by a group

It could be intimidation only by a group - not motivated by sex but by bullying and shaming

Gay sex or Straight sex - is when two (or more) people willingly participate to an event culminating in the satisfaction of the majority taking part. Even if they never take part again.... as is the case with many juvenile boys who learn this most convenient way.

Surprisingly many pre-teens have sexual relations and experiment with same sex people when eventually, they reject the concept and turn to the opposite (and acceptable for them) sexual partners.

I understand in principle. A forced act is not in the norm of what sex is. Rape, hazing, bullying is a display or act of power of one over the other. It is to humiliate and shame and at times bully; like hazing.

BUT... these kids did a willfull act which was in essence ...gay... man on man. They chose that. I say they are gay now. Not to take anything away from good people who happen to be gay.

Eagle

I'd call them molesters...and perhaps some of the bullies had 'gay' ideas of experimentation and perhaps some of them think back on that time to get aroused.... and if that is true....they could have
gay tendencies whether practiced or not....and perhaps the gay tendencies would have to be combined with attack or molest.... it's a sliding scale and the variables are huge...

If you willingly have a homosexual encounter, then you are to some degree homosexual. You can eat pussy your entire life, but suck one cock and what will people call you?

I've never had a homosexual encounter because I've never felt the urge to have one. I've had opportunities and invitations, but it doesn't interest me. If I did feel the urge, I would pursue it. But sex with a guy is about as appealing to me as sex with a goat. In fact I really don't know what women see in men. I'm glad women like men, but I don't understand it.

I'm really a women trapped in a man's body. But I'm also a lesbian. What does that make me?

Using sex as a weapon (like the teabagging example) is not indicative of sexual preference. Violent sexual acts have nothing whatsover to do with sexuality. The penis (et al) in that case is simply a weapon. If you use a saber to butter your bread, you can't call it a butter knife.

Many homosexuals have heterosexual relationships by choice rather than by desire--for a variety of reasons. I don't think it makes them heterosexual or even bisexual. Your sexuality is in your intent, not in the act. If you are having sex simply for procreation (as in a gay man assisting a woman in fertilization) a few heterosexual acts does not make the gay man bisexual. Unless he thoroughly enjoys it and gets stimulated even considering it. THEN he's bisexual.

Lesbian women who marry men may do so for societal reasons. That doesnt make them bisexual. Performing a sexual act for reasons other than sexual satisfaction (orgasm) does not determine "sexuality". Likewise, the phrase "sexual preference" does not rule out occasional non-preference sexual activity.

Adventurous. Curious. But not necessarily preferring this.

Or just plain old 'hard up', 'not getting any', 'no better options available'.

Just because I'll eat ham if it's around, doesn't mean I'm a fan of pork. I'd identify as a turkey lover, even if there was no turkey around for me to eat.

Zack tackly.

You are the analogy queen LOL

So what happens when you throw transsexuals into the mix?

Quote:
Originally Posted by earth_as_one
You can eat pussy your entire life, but suck one cock and what will people call you?



The correct answer is people will call you a cocksucker. It was supposed to be a joke.

Post op or pree op?