Afraid of death .

china

Time Out
Jul 30, 2006
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Are you afraid of death? Is it perhaps because you do not know how to live? If you knew how to live fully, would you be afraid of death? If you loved the trees, the sunset, the birds, the falling leaf; if you were aware of men and women in tears, of poor people, and really felt love in your heart, would you be afraid of death? Would you? You do not live with joy, you are not happy, you are not vitally sensitive to things; and is that why you ask what is going to happen when you die? Life for you is sorrow, and so you are much more interested in death. You feel that perhaps there will be happiness after death. I do not know .After all, fear is at the bottom of all this - fear of dying, fear of living, fear of suffering. If you cannot understand what it is that causes fear and be free of it, then it does not matter very much whether you are living or dead.
What causes fear?
 

s243a

Council Member
Mar 9, 2007
1,352
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Calgary
For me fear is what I can’t control but desperately want to. I don’t think this generally applies because how do you explain irrational fears like fear of heights? Thus I will refine it and say fear is a response to what we are conditioned to avoid, either biological, socially or through association with dramatic events or our own rationalizations and thought patters. When we lack knowledge we lack control and thus are missing some of the needed tools to avoid that which we are conditioned to avoid.
 

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
10,168
536
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Regina, SK
What causes fear?
Uncertainty. Not knowing. I don't really know whether I'm afraid of death or not. I certainly don't want to die any time soon, I've got things to do yet and I want to dance at my children's weddings, but at my age (58 next month) I know that my life is probably much more than half over. I don't have any life-threatening medical conditions though, at least according to the most recent inspection, so with a little luck and good management I might have another 30 or 40 years left. The men on my mother's side mostly made it into their 90s in pretty good shape. But of the men on my father's side, nobody got past 72 and my father at my age was hypertensive, diabetic, he'd had major abdominal surgery twice, and was two years away from his first episode of congestive heart failure, which is what eventually carried him off at 72. I have no such health issues, I seem to be more like the men from my mother's side and I've also taken better care of myself than any of them ever did.

I know I'll die some day, but I try to live for the day and not think much about that. Doesn't always work though; sometimes I have bleak moments of anxiety about not being around for significant moments in the lives of my children and grandchildren. And I don't even have any grandchildren yet. It's not exactly fear though, it's just things I don't want to miss.

Besides, it's late, I'm tired, and I don't know if I'm making any sense.
 

tamarin

House Member
Jun 12, 2006
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Oshawa ON
Indeed, Self, Dex is a sharpie.
I'm 56 and I admit I read the obituaries now, a practice I've only come onto in the last year. Over a week's time I'll usually recognize someone. It is a little jarring. And you think someday I'll be in this column. What disturbs too is that when you recognize a name from your own age group you sit there a minute and wonder how could that possibly be.
 

tamarin

House Member
Jun 12, 2006
3,197
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Oshawa ON
Good idea, Self! If I was to write my own I think I might be too harsh. Who better to recognize me than me? I find even now my achievements, whatever those may be, seldom get as much thought as my regrets.
 

selfactivated

Time Out
Apr 11, 2006
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Richmond, Virginia
After Critter's death I think more and more on these things....my Sis had a good word to describe my mood as of late.....marose. But I didnt get to make Critters I wasnt even consulted about it.....anyway.....death is life and in all things be prepared.
 

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
10,168
536
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Regina, SK
I'm 56 and I admit I read the obituaries now, a practice I've only come onto in the last year.
Aw jeez... me too. I've seen death announcements for people I know are the parents of people I went to high school with, their names are listed as survivors. And I've seen depressingly many death announcements for people much younger than I am. I feel good about having outlived them, and bad about the premature losses so many others are suffering... How morbid is that?
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
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63
Death and dying are two different things. Both of them trouble me when I dwell on it. I wonder what my last moments will be. Massive heart attack? Car accident? Freak accident? Cancer? How much pain will it be and long will that pain endure? Then, the mysteries of death. Will it be eternal nothingness? The concept of never knowing your children again. Much of it is hard to comprehend. Also to be considered is the effect of one's death on loved ones. Never being there for them again. The emotional impact it has on them.

I have never felt good dwelling on the subject. It depresses me when I do.
 

china

Time Out
Jul 30, 2006
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Dexter Sinister ,
Besides, it's late, I'm tired, and I don't know if I'm making any sense.__________________________________________________________

You make alot of sense Dexter-You're agood man.
 

china

Time Out
Jul 30, 2006
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Kreskin :Death and dying are two different things. Both of them trouble me when I dwell on it.______________________________________

Do remember Kreskin that there is no life without death and there is no death without life.
 

Vereya

Council Member
Apr 20, 2006
2,003
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Tula
I am not afraid of death. I know that my death is always by my side, waiting for me. I know what dying will feel like, and I am not afraid. This world is full of interesting and fascinating things, so when I get to see a lot of them, and when my time is over, it would be interesting for me to die. To get through the tough part, and to go on to new choices and to new opportunities. If I were to die today, I would regret not having done or seen many things that I plan to do and to see, but I would not feel any fear. I love this world, and I thouroughly enjoy my life, but there are other worlds that are just as good, or even better, because they are less familiar yet, and there are other lives to be lived. Why fear?
 

china

Time Out
Jul 30, 2006
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Whot are we afraid of ?Are we afraid of a fact or of an idea about the fact ?Are we afraid of the thing as ity is, or are we afraid of what we thing it is. Are we afraid of death , or of the idfea of death? Because I am afraid of the word , of the Ideas , I never understand the fact , I never look at the fact , I am never in direct relation with the fact. It is only when I am in communion with the fact that there is no fear . There is no communion with the facts so long as I have an idea , opinion , a theory about the fact .So we have to be very clear wheather we are afraid of the word ,the idea , or the fact.
 
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karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
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bliss
When my aunty Vivian was dying, she told me what she feared the most about dying.

She said, she'd gotten to see all these lives, all these stories, begin. She'd seen her children born, she'd seen her grandchildren born. She had followed the stories of my life, and of my siblings and cousins and all of our children. She had involved herself in our stories, and was thoroughly enjoying watching them unfold, anticipating where they might go next. And her biggest fear, was that of never getting to finish the stories. Never getting to see how the twists and turns would play out. Would her daughters ever fall easily into their roles as moms? Would her nephew finally find true love and realize the girl he was with was not the woman he wanted? Would her son ever find true love? And most crucially, who would her grandsons grow into, and what adventures would befall them along their journey?

I think our biggest fear is exactly what my aunty described... the fear of missing out. Not of death, for what will we care? Not of pain, for that is over once we're gone. But that this story we've been watching all our lives, will carry on without us.
 

El Barto

les fesses a l'aire
Feb 11, 2007
5,959
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Quebec
To me theres no fear in death.
How i die is the biggest fear. (Hopeing its quick and painless.)
Right before the fear of not haveing lived to my potential.
 

china

Time Out
Jul 30, 2006
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s243a
For me fear is what I can’t control but desperately want to._________________

If you would have an understanding of feer , there would be no need to control it .
 

AndyF

Electoral Member
Jan 5, 2007
384
7
18
Ont
Are you afraid of death? Is it perhaps because you do not know how to live? If you knew how to live fully, would you be afraid of death? If you loved the trees, the sunset, the birds, the falling leaf; if you were aware of men and women in tears, of poor people, and really felt love in your heart, would you be afraid of death? Would you? You do not live with joy, you are not happy, you are not vitally sensitive to things; and is that why you ask what is going to happen when you die? Life for you is sorrow, and so you are much more interested in death. You feel that perhaps there will be happiness after death. I do not know .After all, fear is at the bottom of all this - fear of dying, fear of living, fear of suffering. If you cannot understand what it is that causes fear and be free of it, then it does not matter very much whether you are living or dead.
What causes fear?

Yes.

Depends if you want the religious take on it or human.

Religiously, it's a transition, and true death comes when your not destined for heaven. Humanly, as follows.......

My profile is similar to Dex's. I'm 61 but have grandkids. Lately I've come to start thinking about burial plots and not being a burden on my kids and wife by a funeral. It's all done in a joking manner right now but as time goes by it will become more serious I guess. So you see, even if you don't want to think about it, your eminent exit indirectly forces you to think of these things. It also makes how long I'm going to live more predictable, which you would think be more comforting but it makes it worse. My doctor says I'm healthier than he is. My prostate is enlarged which is a way of nature saying I shouldn't count on a long life. Sex wise, I'm still 20 and you would think that would be a good thing, but it's a damn nuisance when your trying to end a life on good terms with God in the temptation department.:-( Mom and dad died due to smoking and habitual stuff, so I can't really tell what their natural life span would have been.

I'm apprehensive of long pain, not really death. Oddly, I look forward to being able to say face to face what I think to beings that matter, but I would have liked to do so in lessor proximity to the time of being dispatched, and I think it was designed that way to their advantage. (It shortens the amount of time the hallowed halls need to listen to stark truths.) I'm not well liked up there as I bring up issues that were not well thought out in the grand scheme of religious planning. I have come to discover religion was designed to be practised by man within the confines of acceptable philosophical parameters, and that's baloney.

I care for the future of my family and grandkids. If I die knowing they are all right and their future looks good, then that will be a burden lifted. The wife will be able to marry again and that's OK,....sort of...., but the male territorial instinct prevents me from being comfortable with the idea....grrrrrr. :angry3:

AndyF