I'll never forget when I was a teenager. I was in Grade 11. The local ruffian, Billy Neulinger and his friends were always getting into trouble. Billy wasn't too bright. In fact, some of the posters here remind me of him. That's why I am telling you this story.
It was about 10:30 Sunday morning. The Murphys were getting ready to drive to church when the announcement came over the car radio. Someone had set fire to the shed at the Seventh Day Adventist Church! A fire burned the small 10x14 garden shed to the ground.
The cops found a note taped to the church announcement board. It said that Jews shouldn't be allowed to live in our village, and so, they were going to burn their "church" down while everybody was in it! But Billy was pretty dim and it didn't take the cops too long to track him down. Hopefully, Billy's old man or a counselor told him that wanting to pursue a life of crime, and being so stupid, probably wasn't a good idea.
Billy's first mistake was he wrote the note himself. In pencil. And he signed it, "The Nuelinger Gang" The cops knew who they needed to question after reading the note. Billy's reputation preceded him. It was full of spelling mistakes, including Billy's last name. He was so stupid, he couldn't even spell that properly!
Secondly, the Jewish "Church" (synagogue) he targeted wasn't a synagogue at all, but the Christian Seventh Day Adventist church. After they arrested him, Billy said they burned the smaller building (the garden shed) because it was easier to set the cross on fire. The shed had a miniature bell tower on it, complete with a small cross, that was closer to the ground. Of course, we all know that Jews hang crosses outside their "churches" all the time!
When the cops asked him why he wanted to burn everyone, he told them religious people preferred death by burning, so he figured to wait until Sunday morning when everyone was there. Hey Billy! Strike three! He was after the local Jewish population. Maybe he should have thought about doing that on a Saturday, when they were all at the synagogue...across town! The building with the big Magen David (Star of David) on it.
But Billy was doubly stupid...or maybe it was just bad luck. Seventh Day Adventists are called that because they celebrate their sabbath on the seventh day - which is a Saturday (the seventh day of the old Christian and Jewish calendars). That is from Friday at sunset, until Saturday at sunset - the same as the Jews. So, on Sunday, the first day of the new week, the building was empty.
To quote from Forrest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does, Billy!"
And an interesting sidebar to this is many of you learned why the calendar on your wall starts on Sunday and ends on Saturday - the seventh day of the week!
Mazel tov!
Ezra Levant 
Verified account @ezralevant
