Two youngsters win my Darwinian award of the week
- Thread starter L Gilbert
- Start date
I remember this one:
Low Flying Drunk
[SIZE=-1]
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin [/SIZE]
(1996, Canada) Sleeping residents of Chilliwack were awakened early one morning by the sound of a small aircraft flying lower than usual. The engine noise was like a mosquito, zooming too close too quick, then veering away. What the bleep was going on? In the wee hours of the night, during a bout of heavy drinking, two future Darwin Award nominees concluded that, with neither had a pilot's license nor flight training, they nevertheless knew enough to pilot an aircraft. knew all they needed to know to at a local dive, They drew the obvious conclusion, and decided to take a plane from the small local airport for a drunken joyride over the city. They invited two females along for the ride; fortunately, the level-headed ladies declined.
From idea to execution, the plan evolved quickly. One of the gentlemen worked at the airport and had access to the tarmac. The two men then managed to unlock a plane and get it off the ground and into the sky. They went on to buzz around in the dark, skimming above the roofs of the houses. This went on for an extended period of time.
Eventually they decided to land. They attempted to land on the grassy median between east and west-bound lanes of the Trans Canada Highway. They almost made it under the electrical wires that cross the median. Almost. Where these wires were concerned, fate intervened. Instead of making a soft landing on the grassy verge, the tail clipped the wires, sending the aircraft diving nose-first into the ground and killing both occupants.
Only then were the sleepy Chilliwack residents able to return to their REM sleep.
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin [/SIZE]
(1996, Canada) Sleeping residents of Chilliwack were awakened early one morning by the sound of a small aircraft flying lower than usual. The engine noise was like a mosquito, zooming too close too quick, then veering away. What the bleep was going on? In the wee hours of the night, during a bout of heavy drinking, two future Darwin Award nominees concluded that, with neither had a pilot's license nor flight training, they nevertheless knew enough to pilot an aircraft. knew all they needed to know to at a local dive, They drew the obvious conclusion, and decided to take a plane from the small local airport for a drunken joyride over the city. They invited two females along for the ride; fortunately, the level-headed ladies declined.
From idea to execution, the plan evolved quickly. One of the gentlemen worked at the airport and had access to the tarmac. The two men then managed to unlock a plane and get it off the ground and into the sky. They went on to buzz around in the dark, skimming above the roofs of the houses. This went on for an extended period of time.
Eventually they decided to land. They attempted to land on the grassy median between east and west-bound lanes of the Trans Canada Highway. They almost made it under the electrical wires that cross the median. Almost. Where these wires were concerned, fate intervened. Instead of making a soft landing on the grassy verge, the tail clipped the wires, sending the aircraft diving nose-first into the ground and killing both occupants.
Only then were the sleepy Chilliwack residents able to return to their REM sleep.
Well, technically you are right. these only removed themselves from public. Almost as good.
This one is stupid from start to finish:
Not a Shred of Sense
[SIZE=-1]
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin [/SIZE]
The ambulance responded to a frantic call concerning a neighbor's trip through an industrial tree shredder. It seems the individual had decided to prune his own trees, rather than hire a professional. Why not? After all, the local shop rented shredders that could make quick work of yard debris, including tree limbs up to 8 inches in diameter. To save time (those fateful words) the neighbor had placed the shredder at the base of a great oak tree, where he could drop branches directly into the hopper. He intended to cut off the top third of the oak, since it had been killed by lightning.
With the shredder running wide open, the neighbor climbed his ladder to the first tree branch, stepped off the ladder, slipped, and fell. The paramedics found him very dead, half in and half out of the shredder's hopper, one leg shredded to the hip.
Not married, no kids, removed self from the gene pool.
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin [/SIZE]
The ambulance responded to a frantic call concerning a neighbor's trip through an industrial tree shredder. It seems the individual had decided to prune his own trees, rather than hire a professional. Why not? After all, the local shop rented shredders that could make quick work of yard debris, including tree limbs up to 8 inches in diameter. To save time (those fateful words) the neighbor had placed the shredder at the base of a great oak tree, where he could drop branches directly into the hopper. He intended to cut off the top third of the oak, since it had been killed by lightning.
With the shredder running wide open, the neighbor climbed his ladder to the first tree branch, stepped off the ladder, slipped, and fell. The paramedics found him very dead, half in and half out of the shredder's hopper, one leg shredded to the hip.
Not married, no kids, removed self from the gene pool.
Saw a homemade vidclip of some sort of organism whose friend had bought a Luger replica. The friend of this organism showed it the handgun and the organism pointed the thing at its own head, asked if it was loaded, pulled the trigger, and shot itself.
The kids? that were dumping rocks off the overpass should be horsewhipped and shot with a ball of their own s**t. Then their mothere given retroactive abortions. A young guy that I worked with a few years back was nearly killed by some idiots like this in Nanaimo. He was off work for nearly a year.