The "Rapture" - Don't get Left Behind!!1

Tyr

Council Member
Nov 27, 2008
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Sitting at my laptop
Dateline: Wasilla Assembly of God Church

WAAAkkk, supmiiitf. BrAAACKK, unfitum. summma, summa
The women writhed in convulsions and fell to the floor.

Some arcane Voodo ceremony? A tribal incantation in Zimbabwe?

No, just the "laying on of hands" and "speaking in tongues" in the Assemblies of God, a Protestant, Pentecostal association of churches with roots in the Pentecostal revivalism of the early twentieth century.

Fringe fundament evangelicals have started poping up all over the place. Even is staid old Canada

Will Christians will one day simultaneously vanish into thin air, leaving piles of clothes on the ground and their cars to go driverless off the road. After this Twilight Zone-like opener, all hell will break loose for seven years, a titanic battle between God and his angels on one hand and an evil Beast on the other will rage on the ancient battleground of Armageddon in modern-day Israel, and Jesus will return riding in the clouds and reign in Jerusalem for a thousand years. Anyone who hasn’t already accepted Christ as his personal Lord and Savior beforehand will then be cast into a lake of fire to deep-fry forever. All this will happen soon, the Web site avers.

Welcome to the world of premillenial dispensationalism, a radical fundamentalist interpretation of the Book of Revelation also known as End Times or Final Days theology that holds that the prophecies of the final book of the Bible have yet to be fulfilled

Polls show that at least one in six Americans—and one in three Republicans—believe in this scenario. The Left Behind series of books, a fictionalized account of the “final days” by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, has sold 62 million copies.

While it is well-known that George W. Bush presents himself as devoutly Christian, and he is widely considered beholden to the fundamentalists who are at least a third of the U.S. population and the GOP’s core voting base, whether or not he is a dispensationalist has emerged as one the administration’s most closely held secrets. The White House even refuses to say if the president has read the Left Behind books.

As mainstream religion is losing adherents by the fatful daily, the "born agains" are out there aggressively recruiting the easily led

Has Canada fallen prey to this plague?
 

Said1

Hubba Hubba
Apr 18, 2005
5,336
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Das Kapital
The pretribes are pretty whacky. Before Ariel Sharon died, they claimed he'd be the last elected (or last something) leader of Israel.
 

Scott Free

House Member
May 9, 2007
3,893
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BC
Dawkins calls this phenomena the theocratic Dark Age.

I expect it is coming to Canada for two reasons: it poses a hurdle that only individual initiative, education and effort can overcome; the simple easy route is to believe in a sky god, and our education system has all but completely disintegrated.
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
7,267
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Newfoundland!
.....Polls show that at least one in six Americans...

Correction. Polls show that at least one in six of the americans who are willing to respond to a poll when asked believe this crap.

the fact is the polls like these will always blow the numbers out of proportion when they tend to favour those who wish to speak... and who is more likely to state their beliefs? someone who has rational, steady, well-thought-out beliefs and is moderate about stating them or someone with wild, far-ranging beliefs which make bold statements about everyone they know and also require that they should tell everyone loudly that they believe in them?
 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
14,698
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JW's believe the end is near too.

There are 1,035,802 of them in the US. Current US population: 305,802,604
 

Stretch

House Member
Feb 16, 2003
3,924
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Australia
christians were thrown to the lions a while back.......ever wonder why?
that dude that walked on water....what the hell was his name.....anyway, he said you can do what I do and more....and the people that did were called witches and burned at the stake.....anyone ever had a reiki treatment?.

who am I talking about?
he was born to a virgin by immaculate conception thru the intervention of a holy spirit. when he was born, the ruling tyrant wanted to kill him. all male children under the age of 2 were slain by the ruler. he performed miracles which included healing the sick, giving sight to the blind, casting out devils and raising the dead. he was put to death on the cross between to thieves. sounds like that guy.....what the hel......oh jc....but strangely, it's not.
that is exactly howthey describe the eastern saviour god known as virishna, 1200 yrs before jc is claimed to have been born. just the names have been changed to protect the guilty!
 

Spade

Ace Poster
Nov 18, 2008
12,822
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Aether Island
I just drove home from work, and during today's rush hour the traffic was remarkably light. However, must be the colder weather, but there were cars abandoned everywhere! You'd think people in this country would be prepared! Like, people, get your vehicles winterized, for Chrissakes!

Sorry, got to go south for a week or two. Winter's getting me down! If a don't talk for a bit, you'll know where I'll be!
 
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Stretch

House Member
Feb 16, 2003
3,924
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Australia
I just drove home from work, and during today's rush hour the traffic was remarkably light. However, must be the colder weather, but there were cars abandoned everywhere! You'd think people in this country would be prepared! Like, people, get your vehicles winterized, for Chrissakes!

Sorry, got to go south for a week or two. Winter's getting me down! If a don't talk for a bit, you'll know where I'll be!
and this has wot to do with the OP?
 

darkbeaver

the universe is electric
Jan 26, 2006
41,035
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RR1 Distopia 666 Discordia
Dawkins calls this phenomena the theocratic Dark Age.

I expect it is coming to Canada for two reasons: it poses a hurdle that only individual initiative, education and effort can overcome; the simple easy route is to believe in a sky god, and our education system has all but completely disintegrated.

Canadas Prime Minister is of the ilk, it's already in Canada.
 

MHz

Time Out
Mar 16, 2007
41,030
43
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Red Deer AB
The pretribes are pretty whacky. Before Ariel Sharon died, they claimed he'd be the last elected (or last something) leader of Israel.
I think that is pretribbers. Just goes to show you that if you don't check out the sources you can be fed anything. Patriots are as easily lead around by the nose as anybody who buys into 'the truth' without doing some serious homework on their own, for Christian's it is belief in something the Bible doesn't teach. The rapture is only one of many false teachings about the Bible. There would be no pretribbers and those Churches would now be empty if somebody examined how they came to that conclusion and how much they had to twist Scripture to come up with this theory. It's certainly an easy sell for those who have itchy ears, apparently there is no shortage.
 

MHz

Time Out
Mar 16, 2007
41,030
43
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Red Deer AB
Can I see your source for this please?

:smile:
Here are some more points.
AlabamaAtheist.Org


  • ...immaculately conceived and born of a spotless virgin, "who had never known man."
  • ...conceived by a spirit ghost (you know... a "Holy Ghost").
  • ...threatened in early infancy with death by the ruling tyrant, Cansa (remember Herod?).
  • ...taken by his parents as they fled to Gokul for safety from Cansa (remember Herod?).
  • ...saved from an order of Cansa that all male children under the age of two were to be slain. Coincidentally, Herod of Judea supposedly gave the same order 1200 years later. Hmm...
  • ...visited by angels and shepherds at his birthplace.
  • ...born after a prophecy predicted his birth.
  • ...given frankincense and myrrh by visiting sages at his birth. Boy, the coincidences are really starting to add up here.
  • ...worshiped and saluted as the "Savior of Men."
  • ...said to have performed many astounding miracles, such as healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind, casting out devils, and raising the dead to life.
  • ...put to death on a cross between two thieves.
  • ...taken into hell, rose from the dead, and ascended up to heaven "in the sight of all men."

A google search might get something more detailed
 

Said1

Hubba Hubba
Apr 18, 2005
5,336
66
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Das Kapital
I think that is pretribbers. Just goes to show you that if you don't check out the sources you can be fed anything. Patriots are as easily lead around by the nose as anybody who buys into 'the truth' without doing some serious homework on their own, for Christian's it is belief in something the Bible doesn't teach. The rapture is only one of many false teachings about the Bible. There would be no pretribbers and those Churches would now be empty if somebody examined how they came to that conclusion and how much they had to twist Scripture to come up with this theory. It's certainly an easy sell for those who have itchy ears, apparently there is no shortage.
I meant Pretribes. Like saying 'Fundis' or "Prots". Or it was it the missing word 'too' that threw the entire post off?

If I was a serious Christian, I would probably be a pretiber, just cause they're so grovey. I've met a few over the years, theyre pretty trippy. :lol:
 
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Cliffy

Standing Member
Nov 19, 2008
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The Biggest Secret

LOOK IT UP!!!

David Icke

Stretch,

David Icke actually does his research. You expect the right to actually believe facts? My goodness you are optimistic.