Sucks doesn't it? Cuz that's exactly what you're doing when you try and tell me what boys go through when they're spanked/smacked...... you're not one, so how the hell do you know?
I'm human, that's how I know, very stupid statement indeed.
Hmmm..... I think if I tried hard enough I might get a couple of pistol whips out of ya before you shot me
probably, while I was trying to figure out how to fire the gun.
So what other alternative suggestions do you believe would work without resorting to physical?
Physical restraint is OK, I've done that and just hold on till things begin to settle a little , as parents are so much
stronger, then lots of talking, lots and lots, and there is always favourite things
that can be denied, in our case our kids were very high level athletes, and if they thought they couldn't go to practice, or a game, or a gym meet, or a hockey game, etc etc, they would be devastated, more so than if I batted them over the head with a pot, but let them go to their sport. there is a third party to bring in, can be a
relative that the child really likes, there can be family conferences after the heat
has settled down, if school is involved, a teacher can become involved. Lots of love
can be shown while the discipline is being given, this is hard to explain, but pretty
easy when it's happening, as one knows his/he own child, can't explain to others how
to do it with their own, just don't 'hit' them. Everyone has their own situation and life,
so they apply that decision to their own families. Just don't 'hit' them.
I remember I used to tell them, occasionally, that if they didn't smarten up I would
send them to 'tim buk too', and I always had a little humour in my voice, but many
years later, one of my daughters told me that she used to get terrified cause she thought I meant it, and she didn't want to go there, I felt awful, as I didn't really
mean it to be mean, but she took it very seriously.
I survived, I still talk to my parents.... they no longer hit me by the way..... the system technically worked. I am employed, creative, free thinking, don't drink, and I contribute to scoeity..... I smoke weed, but hey, you can't win them all.
Well, time will only tell.
Of course one thing I'll be telling them often is that if they don't want to live in my house with my rules, then they can always live with a foster family or be given up for adoption and see if their lives are any better..... I'm sure the kids in class will treat them lovely knowing they don't have real parents who love them, etc.
Yeah, I remember telling my kids, occasionally, that we should arrange a child exchange with a third world country so they could live without most things for a year, then come
home again. They were not sure if I was serious or not, but it made them think about
their lives a little more.
Of course, if they decided to call my bluff about sending them to a foster family, I'll just pack up all their stuff, put them in the car, tell them that's what I'm doing, only to drop them off to military school..... hey, parents do it with Disney Land, only to take them to the dentist
Fair enough, but as an honest question, have you had to deal with a child who was physically violent and wouldn't cool down?
My children were never physically violent with me or my hus band, but a few times they were physically violent with each other, as teenagers, and that was very hard, physically getting between them, holding one, and getting rid of the other by ordering her
out of the way. Blood flowed and it took a while to straighten out at times. Didn't happen often, they love each other. But it's interesting, as, those fights were caused because one of them was being nasty with me, bad words and loud, carrying on too long and the other couldn't stand it any more, and came to my defense, then I had to break it up.
Indeed it should... but you're also generalizing towards those who will use physical punishment.... each situation should be judged on it's own merrit. Is this parent causing too much pain and suffering on their child for something trivial and is considdered assault? Or did this parent's physical actions prevent this child from doing something very stupid that they have yet to fully understand the consequences of?
I allready covered that point, I'm concerned with parents who constantly use corporal
punishment on their children, not for situations like you explain.
See that's the other problem..... you have the courts setting laws and rules for how to parent one's child, they're restricted by what they can do for dicipline for their kid, as a previous example, the courts just overturned a parent's grounding of their daughter from a friggin trip of all things, because they thought it was too harsh.
How did that situation get into court in the first place, I don't know anything about it,
so can't comment.
...... And yet, when you no longer have any rights as a parent to actually parent your kids and give them some sort of authoritive struture in their lives, they'll start doing all these bad things and get out of control..... and then it's still the parent's fault because they're so out of control and didn't give them any authoritive structure they respected or at the very least, feared.
The law will protect kids who are getting pounded all over the place on a steady basis,
neighbours will notice that, kids will be injured, the kids will be scared or rebellious,
kids will run away, I've said over and over, guess no one is paying attention to my posts,
that if you are a good parent, like most of us, the law will never bother you.
Many are getting far too dramatic with this law, when it will never apply to them.
Please think of the kids who 'need' this law.
Granted, but all those things you just listed (Except the sexual abuse) can easily be related back to the children being able to walk all over their parents. They always get what they want, they get too much money, they can hang out with anybody they want, they can start having sex in jr high..... all because they'll threaten their parents that if they lay a hand on them or if they do anything to them, they'll call the cops and press charges, so parents are scared of their own kids now, they're afraid of being labeled a bad mother or a bad father
Those parents are very weak to begin with, let the kids get away with everything from day one, and are very reluctant to ever say NO or put their foot down over ANYTHING, they make their children like that. They need lots of help from a third party, which
I hate, but sometimes it is necessary.
in their community, they're afraid they'll goto jail for only doing what they thought was right, and time and time again I hear in the news here in the Halifax area, of some youth beating some other kid up for their money, or ganging up on another because they're different, or robbing corner stores, or swarmming old ladies in the Commons, beating them with metal table legs....... and then they're caught, and the parents are on the news saying they're glad the system caught them, because they were at their wits end, their child never listened to them, attacked them, and they were simply afraid of doing anything because they'd be arrested themselves.
They should have done something when their kids were very young.
And, lots of real good parents have problem children/teenagers, and need to get help,
and there are some very bad parents who, for some reason, have one or two children in the family who are great kids. Go figure, that's life.
What name calling? Calling your 4 daughters "Princesses?" I didn't think that'd be considdered name calling.... but then again, this politically correct world has gone down the crapper as of late, so it doesn't suprise me.
Yeah, calling them princesses, is condescending and insulting, and they would laugh
out loud at that, as they were top athletes, very mentally strong, and hated wearing
dresses, let alone tierras. (sp?)
I called them little princesses in comparison to my own past..... I was a hellion..... you've seen me comment about myself in the past just in this thread alone and myself calling myself far worse then princess (Pr*ck, *******, etc.) ..... don't take it so personally. Your children were respectful enough to follow your structure of discipline in a manner where you didn't feel physical punishment was required..... to me, that's pretty "Angellic"
if you don't like "Princess."
I'm sure they're perfectly fine ladies.
ladies, no they wouldn't like that, but very attractive athletes.
Ok.... shall I think of another name to identify them as? Heck I'm technically from Irish royalty from centuries past..... yet I still call myself an *******..... in fact, I'm a Royal *******.
My dad, born in dublin ireland, catholic, no royalty either.
People gotta lighten up.
Then those are the people that require stricter rules and guildlines.... but an out right ban on the practice due to other's who abuse the system isn't the answer.
There is no outright ban, the law is pointed directly to those who need it.
Then enforce the already existing laws to protect those kids from those parents.... spanking a child for being way out of line is not abuse.... closed fist punching and causing long term physical harm is not acceptable and to me that is abuse.
I agree to a point, but constant smacking and spanking and other physical punishment
has to be stopped, cause it is too hard on the child.
If my friends started hitting me around, not only would they be in a pool of blood, but they wouldn't be much of a friend.
My seven year old grandson is a very strong minded intelligent child, and if he is hit,
which his dad has done, he immediately goes into a rage and begins to defend himself,
I respect this from him, as no one needs to accept physical anger against them, and
I like that part of him, a parent better think twice before laying a hand on him. But,
other types of dicipline will work, if well thought out.
He is not a bad child, but if he is hit, he hits back and doesn't stop, and he hollers, "don't
hit me again"., good for him, no one will mess with him throughout his life, and if they
do, they will know about it.
But as it goes for the long term spectrum of how it's passed down through family, I guess my dad got it a lot worse from my grandfather then I did from my dad (Although it's hard to believe.... he's such a friendly and peaceful fella.... of course he's no longer raising kids, so that could be a part of it.) But I remember when I was younger I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't do to my kids what was done to me.... but that still doesn't mean I might not have to raise my hand to them once in a while.
Yeah, my husband, who I mentioned way back in this thread somewhere, was hit quite
a bit, for going to hockey when he was forbidden to do so. My husband is strong willed, but physically very calm, and has never ever hit any of our daughters, just ins't his nature, I would raise my hand against them before he ever would. Yet, as a kid he was
a very tough kid/teenager, and feared no one.
The Irish rage grows strong in my family, and I know my kids, much like my siblings and myself, will have a hard time keeping it under control as I have gradually learned how to do.
My irish dad was not violent, but the booze he drank turned his personality into someone else, someone I didn't know.
.^ I also attribute this to my ability to accept any and all of the consequences which come from any and all of my actions through my life. I have learned to think things through first, before taking action, and making sure I am willing to accept the outcomes from my actions. I learned to respect my parents and respect my grandparents even more so. I learned to repect my elders, and respect police authority.
Good for you, i sincerely mean that.
I am sure other methods of upbringing can come to similar outcomes in other's lives, but I have no regrets for my life, and I hold nothing against my parents before, now or in the future. What I went through clearly worked to make sure I'm not some raving lunatic on the streets
That's good I'm glad you're happy, I'm just happy that this law will protect the children/
teenagers who 'need' protecting, has nothing to do with good parents who occasionally smack their kids, (even though I don't like that), but everything to do with the kids
who need protecting, that was my point all along and I made that quite clear many
times. We can go on and on about individual cases till the cows come home, doesn'[t
really matter, I'm glad for the kids who need this law, it will help them.
We have had a good go-round here, enjoyed talking with you, take care.
Last edited by talloola; Jun 20th, 2008 at 10:25 PM..