This topic seems to be easily taken out of context, esspecially with the limited information provied in the case. Granted I am by no means trying to defend the guy and his actions, but seriously look at what has been provided in what seems to be a clearly biased news report:
.....The judge also referred to a letter of apology by the man in which he appeared to be blaming the little girl.
The man told police his daughter "initiated the sexual acts" in the bedroom and in the shower and, in his apology letter, he asks her forgiveness for him "not showing better judgment" and not stopping her more forcibly.
Ok, what are they claiming are "initiated sexual acts?"
In the bedroom? The shower? No, I don't need someone trying to tell me what they think is the obvious as to what those acts were, because you and I don't know..... for all we know he could have pointed and explained in a very mature manner, which perhaps some uptights might find offensive. Then again, he could have grabbed and jerked off right in front of her..... we don't know given the provided information.
"I only wanted to show her that I loved her and that some things would have to wait for her to grow up, but to give knowledge of what to expect," he said in the letter.
If I want to express my "love" for my children, it certainly won't be anything sexual in nature, that's for damn sure, but how many parents here have had their children come to them and ask them something in regards to their body, or what does this do, or how come I have this, etc.?
We've already had plenty of debates in regards to how slack sexual education can be in school and by parents... I myself have also been in a few debates on when parents should or shouldn't be teaching their kids about these things. How young is too young? Who has the right to determine this for everybody? What can and can not be taught? How to teach them?
"I had only wanted to answer your questions as best as I could. I know that showing you was not the way and giving in to you was wrong. I didn't want you hating daddy because I wouldn't tell you what you wanted to know."
That sounds pretty sickly mind you, which seems to express a level of guilt in his actions.... but is that influenced guilt in people telling him what he did was wrong, or does he actually reflect back and understand it to be wrong?
But see, we can't answer this question either because we don't even know what was actually done in the first place.
The man, who earlier pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual touching of a person under 14, ended the letter by asking the girl's mom if he could still say goodnight to the child.
According to agreed facts, the man is the biological father of the victim, who recently turned eight, and was separated from the girl's mother during the 2005 offences.
The girl's mother called police after the girl revealed her father was touching her sexually. During one of the incidents, the man was talking to his daughter about women having orgasms, according to the agreed facts.
So what the hell is wrong with explaining to your child about what orgasms are? They're going to figure it out one way or another. And what did they mean by her telling her mom that he was touching her sexually? Was she crying and feeling completely violated and needed to turn to her mom in order for it to stop, or did she just blurt something out she learned from her father, didn't think it was a big deal and then her mom blew the whole damn thing out of perspective?
Like I said, I'm not taking the guy's side on this, cuz chances are he may have done all kinds of things above and beyond what I would personally considder acceptable when it comes to educating your children on sexual matters..... but I have seen the gray line for parents come up time and time again when it comes to things sexual in nature towards their children.
• Some will take pictures of their infants in black and white poses, naked and exposing their asses to the camera and most considder that a form of art and to show how tiny and innocent their kids were at one time..... other's think they're sexual exploitation and offensive.
• Some parents will still take baths/showers with their kids to teach them how to properly clean themselves, how to properly dry off afterwards. Some would considdered that offensive and disgusting.
I mean until I hear in detail what actions were really done, I can't determine one way or another my opinions on this situation.
Oh and from what I read, he was in no way attempting to place blame on his daughter, he was explaining the situation and pointing out where he made his error in judgement. From what I read, his daughter had some questions which I am assuming related to our sexual anatomy and he answered them (In what fashion I don't know)
I mean, we all keep hearing about having to educate your children on certain things before they learn them from their friends or on the street, like drugs and sex, so most parents will claim they would rather them learn this stuff from them and thus they would know what they're children are being taught...... but then where is the line in this case being drawn?
We can't tell by the supplied information. Did he just expose and show her the parts of a boy and a girl and left it at that ~ Perhaps pointing or expressing what occurs, or did he go much farther?
The report sure makes him sound like one sick perv who didn't know when to draw the line...... but is this all swayed towards the mother's perspective to make him out to be some freak child perv because she wasn't willing for her child to know about these things just yet AKA: blown out of porpotion?
I have more to post, but I'll leave it at that for the time being..... once again, I'm neutral on this topic until I hear more information as to what crimes were commited.
"unlawful sexual touching of a person under 14"
~ Doesn't tell a person anything. Hypothetically if I decided to point with one finger to identify what the testicle is or what the clitoris is and I accidentally make contact.... since we are talking about sexual education, would that be considdered unlawful sexual touching? ~ I guess that depends on who's interpreting the situation.
Then again, that is also why I'd most likely be explaining things via a book and illustrations..... I mean, I know I'm not all that hedious, but I know my body isn't the most stellar diagram of the human anatomy.
But does anybody see where I am going with parents' thin lines they have to tip toe around when it comes to teaching sexual education to their kids?
One reason why I think this was blown out of porpotion is:
"...... that some things would have to wait for her to grow up, but to give knowledge of what to expect,"
Being the devil's advocate here, that to me sounds like he knew where a line was to be drawn and he didn't do or tell her everything there was to know or do in sex, but "To Give her Knowlege of what to Expect."
~ to me it seems like he's perhaps not a child preditor or closet molester, but he was ignorant on what society deems appropreate information for a child her age and ignorant on the approach to this knowlege.
Then again, maybe he knew very well what he was doing and he's one sick little puppy..... once again, not enough information for me to judge.
The rest of what I plan on adding is in regards to when he gets out of jail..... but one thing at a time.
Last edited by Praxius; Apr 30th, 2008 at 02:22 PM..