Jeremy Clarkson, one of the presenters of the BBC's popular motoring show Top Gear and a Sun columnist, explains in today's article to ignore those pessimistic and crazy environmentalists...
More resilient than first thought ... the planet
Saturday 15th April 2008
FOR years, we’ve been told that unless we buy a stupid electric car and eat mud for the rest of our lives, the world will boil, our children will be microwaved and all the polar bears will sink.
But now, the World Meteorological Organisation has announced that this year, the world will actually cool down a bit.
As a result, scientists are being forced to admit that the planet (which weighs 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilograms) is more resilient to the Range Rover (which weighs 3,000kg) than was first thought.
In other words, everything we’ve been told for the past five years by the Government, Al Gore, Channel Four News and hippies everywhere is a big bucket of nonsense.
Gore ... nonsense
I’m not surprised. Because there’s always someone somewhere telling us the world is about to end.
And it never does.
First of all there was God, who said that if we carried on fornicating, a big seven-headed monster would gobble us up.
Well, it hasn’t even got round to eating Warren Beatty yet, and he’s spent most of his life fornicating.
Then, in the early 20th Century, we were solemnly informed that the world’s population would eventually become too stupid to survive unless white people stopped mating with black people and disabled people were banned from breeding at all.
And this wasn’t some half-arsed Nazi theory either. Winston Churchill supported it. So did H G Wells, Alexander Graham Bell, George Bernard Shaw and almost all contemporary scientists.
Right up to the 1970s, Canada was sterilising Inuits in case their silly semen somehow got into the womb of a white woman.
But then, one day, everyone realised that actually it was all a pack of nonsense and the whole idea — an idea which had gripped and terrified the world — simply went away.
Later, when I was growing up, we were all assured that the only possible outcome of the Cold War was a nuclear holocaust.
Everyone agreed the world would end in a blinding flash of cancerous light.
No one — not even the CIA — ever predicted that Russia would just give up and that a pack of East Germans would simply knock down the Berlin Wall using nothing but DIY tools and their bare hands.
Starved of something to worry about, the human race came up with the Millennium Bug.
All computers would shut down on New Year’s Eve, 1999, and in an instant we’d be plunged into the Dark Ages.
Then it was Sars, and then it was Bird Flu and then it was global warming.
Hopefully, when the next big scare is dreamed up, we’ll take a lesson from history.
And carry on as normal.