The woes of the modern day Noah........

Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure. We had to then go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.

Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many approved carpenters I'm supposed to hire for my building team. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The governments beat me to it."

Would somebody answer just one question? What the hell is a "cubit"?
45.72 cm (external - login to view)
I make that about 18 inches. The ark sounds too small to me. I'm glad I didn't have to fill it with two chickens, two cows, two donkeys, two pigs...zebras, rhinos, elephants, hippos, etc,etc, etc.....
the ark was just one cubit long?
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

the ark was just one cubit long?

No, the ark was supposed to be 300 cubits long by 50 cubits wide by 30 cubits high......still sounds small........lot of animals out there...
450ft doesn't seem up to much, eh? Maybe there were less species back then, or everything was smaller.
Lesson from Noah: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to build something REALLY big........
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

450ft doesn't seem up to much, eh? Maybe there were less species back then, or everything was smaller.

Haven't You heard of "Doctor Who" and what he fits in a telephone booth......Same principle

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