Americans head to the polls in midterm election
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It would be nice ..
to hear a speech like this, from any President, Dem or Republican, I know it might be a little old or out of date, but its the spirit of the letter that counts. I'd vote for a president like this in a heartbeat.
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .
A special note to our neighbors:
Mexico is on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America . Thank you and good night.
to hear a speech like this, from any President, Dem or Republican, I know it might be a little old or out of date, but its the spirit of the letter that counts. I'd vote for a president like this in a heartbeat.
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .
A special note to our neighbors:
Mexico is on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America . Thank you and good night.
Dems 'Only Ones' Who Can Make Nov. Operation A Success
November 1, 2006 | Issue 42•44
Bush: Thousands Of Registered Democrats Needed For 'Extremely Important' Mission
WASHINGTON, DC—In a televised address to the nation Monday, President Bush announced that the U.S. is in "desperate need of thousands of registered Democrats" to conduct what he called an "extremely important mission" to begin immediately and continue at least until the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November.
Bush lauded the "progressive American heroes"
who he says will be vital in carrying out the mission.
"This mission is absolutely vital, for the next week to 10 days will determine the future of our country," said Bush, who would not reveal what the operation entailed, only to say that it was "highly classified."
"We are calling on the most stalwart Democrats in the land," Bush said. "In fact, they are the only ones capable of making it a success."
Although details were limited, an unnamed administration official revealed that, on Wednesday, November 1, registered Democrats will be asked to report to designated government rendezvous points such as post offices and military recruiting centers. Once there, they will be registered, fingerprinted, and issued one-piece jumpsuits, bedding, and canteens of drinking water, then directed to board brown school buses bound for an undisclosed location or locations.
"Certainly it will mean sacrifice, and possibly a prolonged absence from your families," Bush said. "We need at least 40,000 Democrats, but more are always welcome."
"Our very way of life depends on it," he added.
While Bush said any registered Democrat is eligible to participate, those who reside in Arizona's Fifth, Ohio's First, and Pennsylvania's Eighth Congressional Districts are most needed to ensure the mission's success. Democrats from New Jersey, Missouri, Tennessee, and "especially Virginia" were also strongly encouraged to volunteer.
Bush also called on the 64 percent of citizens upset with the handling of the situation in Iraq, the 80 percent who think Congress is doing a poor job, and the 63 percent who disapprove of his own job performance as "supremely qualified for the special task."
Bush added that the same liberal voters with whom his administration has traditionally been at odds would be "warmly welcomed and fully accommodated." Bush appealed to Democrats' "noble hearts," describing his traditional political foes as "a breed apart—passionate, dedicated Americans who can really make a difference."
"Staunch supporters of abortion rights, reduced dependence on foreign oil, gay marriage, and a national system of health care: We need you now more than ever," Bush said. "Registered Democrats in Michigan and Georgia who believe that the federal minimum wage needs to be increased and that global warming is being inadequately addressed are perfectly suited for such a selfless venture."
Bush's announcement drew an enthusiastic reaction from a Republican Congress dispirited by a series of scandals and criticism over its lackluster legislative performance.
“I am delighted that, in this arduous midterm election season, the White House is finally reaching across the aisle to these fine, vigilant individuals,” said Sen. Rick Santorum (R–PA), who is up for re-election around the same time as the proposed mission. "Despite our differences, I know the Democrats of my home state are the kinds of folks the president is talking about—strong, devoted, caring people who support stem-cell research and stronger gun laws."
Acknowledging the "tough times and hardship" endured by soldiers stationed in Iraq, Bush also announced plans to give the entire military the day off on Nov. 7 so they can take some time to "relax, reflect, and vote."
November 1, 2006 | Issue 42•44
Bush: Thousands Of Registered Democrats Needed For 'Extremely Important' Mission
WASHINGTON, DC—In a televised address to the nation Monday, President Bush announced that the U.S. is in "desperate need of thousands of registered Democrats" to conduct what he called an "extremely important mission" to begin immediately and continue at least until the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November.
Bush lauded the "progressive American heroes"
who he says will be vital in carrying out the mission.
"This mission is absolutely vital, for the next week to 10 days will determine the future of our country," said Bush, who would not reveal what the operation entailed, only to say that it was "highly classified."
"We are calling on the most stalwart Democrats in the land," Bush said. "In fact, they are the only ones capable of making it a success."
Although details were limited, an unnamed administration official revealed that, on Wednesday, November 1, registered Democrats will be asked to report to designated government rendezvous points such as post offices and military recruiting centers. Once there, they will be registered, fingerprinted, and issued one-piece jumpsuits, bedding, and canteens of drinking water, then directed to board brown school buses bound for an undisclosed location or locations.
"Certainly it will mean sacrifice, and possibly a prolonged absence from your families," Bush said. "We need at least 40,000 Democrats, but more are always welcome."
"Our very way of life depends on it," he added.
While Bush said any registered Democrat is eligible to participate, those who reside in Arizona's Fifth, Ohio's First, and Pennsylvania's Eighth Congressional Districts are most needed to ensure the mission's success. Democrats from New Jersey, Missouri, Tennessee, and "especially Virginia" were also strongly encouraged to volunteer.
Bush also called on the 64 percent of citizens upset with the handling of the situation in Iraq, the 80 percent who think Congress is doing a poor job, and the 63 percent who disapprove of his own job performance as "supremely qualified for the special task."
Bush added that the same liberal voters with whom his administration has traditionally been at odds would be "warmly welcomed and fully accommodated." Bush appealed to Democrats' "noble hearts," describing his traditional political foes as "a breed apart—passionate, dedicated Americans who can really make a difference."
"Staunch supporters of abortion rights, reduced dependence on foreign oil, gay marriage, and a national system of health care: We need you now more than ever," Bush said. "Registered Democrats in Michigan and Georgia who believe that the federal minimum wage needs to be increased and that global warming is being inadequately addressed are perfectly suited for such a selfless venture."
Bush's announcement drew an enthusiastic reaction from a Republican Congress dispirited by a series of scandals and criticism over its lackluster legislative performance.
“I am delighted that, in this arduous midterm election season, the White House is finally reaching across the aisle to these fine, vigilant individuals,” said Sen. Rick Santorum (R–PA), who is up for re-election around the same time as the proposed mission. "Despite our differences, I know the Democrats of my home state are the kinds of folks the president is talking about—strong, devoted, caring people who support stem-cell research and stronger gun laws."
Acknowledging the "tough times and hardship" endured by soldiers stationed in Iraq, Bush also announced plans to give the entire military the day off on Nov. 7 so they can take some time to "relax, reflect, and vote."
Obviously written by a red neck wearing a very tight thong who has somehow forgotten who started that war, and who's odious foreign policy got them to this point in the first place. Maybe if more westerners took the trouble to learn Arabic, the problems with the Arab states would not have gotten this far. Maybe world domination by ignorance can work, but the evidence doesn't show that to be the case.
So, whats your deal? I thought the majority of posters on this board wanted the U.S. to mind our own business. So what is it now? Mind our own business, BUT please keep sending us money?
And as far as the quote in bold is concerned, I'll concede this point. If the middle east were the largest geographical producer of avocados instead of oil, we wouldn't be in this mess at all. But once again, if we let it run its own course, we would AGAIN be blamed for not doing something about gas costing $15 a gallon or liter ( whatever you use) because of instability in the region. So I refer you back to this part of the post:
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
So if I were in charge, I do the same as the jokester who wrote the thing suggests, I'd pull everyone out of everywhere and let the rest of the world fend for themselves.
Thomaska, I hear you loud and clear! Whereas the guy who wrote this obviously went overboard, I caught the gist of it. Lock our borders let the world solve their own problems. Drill Alaska and begin oil extraction from our 2 trillion available barrels of shale deposits, I don't give a **** if I have to pay $5 a gallon for it.
But do you think for a moment we will hear the end of it? Not a chance in hell. Don't go far, look at WWII and our "delayed" participation to it. The haters still bitch, and they will ALWAYS bitch.
On another note, I did my civic duty today.
But do you think for a moment we will hear the end of it? Not a chance in hell. Don't go far, look at WWII and our "delayed" participation to it. The haters still bitch, and they will ALWAYS bitch.
On another note, I did my civic duty today.
Thomaska, I hear you loud and clear! Whereas the guy who wrote this obviously went overboard, I caught the gist of it. Lock our borders let the world solve their own problems. Drill Alaska and begin oil extraction from our 2 trillion available barrels of shale deposits, I don't give a **** if I have to pay $5 a gallon for it.
But do you think for a moment we will hear the end of it? Not a chance in hell. Don't go far, look at WWII and our "delayed" participation to it. The haters still bitch, and they will ALWAYS bitch.
On another note, I did my civic duty today.
Typical.. Anyone who disagrees with U.S. policy is a "hater". The biggest producers of green house gasses want to produce even more of it and to hell with the rest of the world. Join Kyoto? Never. It would hurt your economy...let the rest of the world worry about that. Detroit is still making 10 thousand pound, 10 cylinder, SUVs that get about 10 miles to the gallon. Americans are buying them because they can.
The thing that hurts, is during your delay of entry into WW2, you were making a fortune selling war materials to Germany. I would say that is something to bitch about.
Considering that the bloody mess the Exxon Valdez made in Prince William Sound is still being cleaned up, I don't blame the rest of the world for being nervous about the Alaska oil.
No, not anyone, but those who are consistent, you would be a prime example of an American hater.
That's correct, let the rest of the world worry about it. Like Canada, which fairs worse than the US and HAS signed on Kyoto.
More internet history #juan? You should really read a history book, it makes a world of difference.
What we do in Alaska is nobody's business but our own. Just like when you are banging seals to protect your local industries. Your pseudo-environmentalism is too apparent.