Damspot writes "‘Laugh In looks at the news, La da di da.’
Anybody out there think that Dan Rowan and Dick Martin would think anyone would remember that little dinger from 1968?
So, let’s look at this week. It’s been a busy one, so settle in for awhile.
We’re still in Iraq (big surprise there). The Cindy doesn’t speak fer us people have arrived in Crawford to the cheers from the Bush camp. This despite the fact that most of them have no family in the war, or their kids are still alive. Forget the fact, that this week’s grand total of dead Americans in Iraq is up to one thousand, nine hundred and eighty nine. For you people with less than 10 fingers, that is 1989.
The DOJ has established guidelines for victim of terrorism reimbursement. After you read through all the “Governeeze” language, it pretty much boils down to if you are blown up somewhere other than Iraq, or Afghanistan, are an American National, or fall into a subjective description, based on working for the US, you might be compensated for an Act of Terrorism. The biggest hole in this program is that the “Terrorism” has to be caused by someone other than the United States. Sorry, Hugo Chavez!
Speaking of Hugo Chavez, it seems that Pat Robertson decided that after God REALLY spoke to him, and after God told him that he was REALLY going to call his ass home, for threatening Hugo with death, thereby breaking a whole list of commandments, Robertson apologized to Chavez. Actually, I don’t think it was God, unless you want to call the head Oil Baron, Cheney, God.
Miami-Dade County got hit with yet, another Tropical Hurricane, Storm, pissed off God, whatever. In addition to putting up with power outages, floods and OJ, the few (very few) gas stations that bothered to open, were only selling high test gas. Truck Tankers have been seen filling all tanks, at stations and the port of entry in Miami is still offloading all grades of fuel from ships. Yet one more reason to piss off God!
‘California files French fry lawsuit.’
Must be the Gropenator’s latest idea to make money for his broke ass state.
It seems that cooking starchy foods in high temp oil, can cause a cancer causing chemical called Acrylamide to rear its ugly head. So, the state is going to sue fast food restaurants and snack food makers. I guess this is part of the Bush initiative to get Americans to eat healthy, American food…..like Burrito’s. Hell, that’s almost California’s State Food…..next to Tofu, of course.
And last, but certainly not least of this weeks important news headlines (No, Bush didn’t fall off his bike again!)
Oprah is ‘furious’. It seems that a number of people in the Black media noted that she was a no show at the funeral of noted Publisher, John H. Johnson. Now, for all you ‘Honkey’s’ out there, who have no clue who John H. Johnson is, he founded Ebony and Jet magazines, very progressive magazines for Blacks. OK….edgemacation is over, for now.
Anyway, Oprah got pissed when the people at the funeral were playing ‘where’s Oprah’ during a smoke break, between preachers.
Well, you inconsiderate poor people. Oprah was in Hawaii. But, she did send flowers and a note to the widow, and promised that she would ask Geraldo Rivera to look for her husband’s hidden gold.
‘Ladies and Gents, Laugh In looks at the news!’
LOOK THAT UP IN YOUR FUNK AND WAGNALLS.
Anybody out there think that Dan Rowan and Dick Martin would think anyone would remember that little dinger from 1968?
So, let’s look at this week. It’s been a busy one, so settle in for awhile.
We’re still in Iraq (big surprise there). The Cindy doesn’t speak fer us people have arrived in Crawford to the cheers from the Bush camp. This despite the fact that most of them have no family in the war, or their kids are still alive. Forget the fact, that this week’s grand total of dead Americans in Iraq is up to one thousand, nine hundred and eighty nine. For you people with less than 10 fingers, that is 1989.
The DOJ has established guidelines for victim of terrorism reimbursement. After you read through all the “Governeeze” language, it pretty much boils down to if you are blown up somewhere other than Iraq, or Afghanistan, are an American National, or fall into a subjective description, based on working for the US, you might be compensated for an Act of Terrorism. The biggest hole in this program is that the “Terrorism” has to be caused by someone other than the United States. Sorry, Hugo Chavez!
Speaking of Hugo Chavez, it seems that Pat Robertson decided that after God REALLY spoke to him, and after God told him that he was REALLY going to call his ass home, for threatening Hugo with death, thereby breaking a whole list of commandments, Robertson apologized to Chavez. Actually, I don’t think it was God, unless you want to call the head Oil Baron, Cheney, God.
Miami-Dade County got hit with yet, another Tropical Hurricane, Storm, pissed off God, whatever. In addition to putting up with power outages, floods and OJ, the few (very few) gas stations that bothered to open, were only selling high test gas. Truck Tankers have been seen filling all tanks, at stations and the port of entry in Miami is still offloading all grades of fuel from ships. Yet one more reason to piss off God!
‘California files French fry lawsuit.’
Must be the Gropenator’s latest idea to make money for his broke ass state.
It seems that cooking starchy foods in high temp oil, can cause a cancer causing chemical called Acrylamide to rear its ugly head. So, the state is going to sue fast food restaurants and snack food makers. I guess this is part of the Bush initiative to get Americans to eat healthy, American food…..like Burrito’s. Hell, that’s almost California’s State Food…..next to Tofu, of course.
And last, but certainly not least of this weeks important news headlines (No, Bush didn’t fall off his bike again!)
Oprah is ‘furious’. It seems that a number of people in the Black media noted that she was a no show at the funeral of noted Publisher, John H. Johnson. Now, for all you ‘Honkey’s’ out there, who have no clue who John H. Johnson is, he founded Ebony and Jet magazines, very progressive magazines for Blacks. OK….edgemacation is over, for now.
Anyway, Oprah got pissed when the people at the funeral were playing ‘where’s Oprah’ during a smoke break, between preachers.
Well, you inconsiderate poor people. Oprah was in Hawaii. But, she did send flowers and a note to the widow, and promised that she would ask Geraldo Rivera to look for her husband’s hidden gold.
‘Ladies and Gents, Laugh In looks at the news!’
LOOK THAT UP IN YOUR FUNK AND WAGNALLS.