Another Epic Triumph for the British Space Program

[Tecumsehsbones]

Mars lander lost on its descent, ESA confirms



Mars lander lost on its descent, ESA confirms


Meanwhile, the Martian Embassy confirms that it has asked the London Metropolitan Police to issue an Anti-Social Behaviour Order against Whitehall for dumping trash in the neighbour's garden.

 

[Curious Cdn]

Mars lander lost on its descent, ESA confirms



Mars lander lost on its descent, ESA confirms


Meanwhile, the Martian Embassy confirms that it has asked the London Metropolitan Police to issue an Anti-Social Behaviour Order against Whitehall for dumping trash in the neighbour's garden.

I told them not to put a Lucas electric system in it!

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

I'm waiting for Jack Cade to come along and tell us how the landing was a complete success and Admiral Lord Nelson and Sir Francis Drake marched out of the lander and claimed Mars for Her Maj.

 

[Blackleaf]

The Schiaparelli lander is Italian-built, you prannies.

 

[Curious Cdn]

The Schiaparelli lander is Italian-built, you prannies.

The British no longer have the technological capability to make spacecraft.

Tata owns all of that, now.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

The British no longer have the technological capability to make spacecraft.

Tata owns all of that, now.

The British never had the technological capability to make spacecraft.

 

[Curious Cdn]

The British never had the technological capability to make spacecraft.

... not ones that could successfully land on Mars, at any rate.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

The Schiaparelli lander is Italian-built, you prannies.

From your own post:

Britain is to lead Europe's ambitious mission to try to find life on Mars, it emerged today.

The European Space Agency's (ESA's) ruling council has put UK experts in charge of sending a rover vehicle to the red planet.

Ah well, as they say, success has a thousand fathers, while failure is British.

 

[EagleSmack]

WHAAAAAT!

The Brits crashed ANOTHER Mars Lander!!!!

That's not how this works... that's not how any of this works!

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

Inorite? It's like they're trying to provoke the Martians!

 

[Blackleaf]

The British no longer have the technological capability to make spacecraft.

Britain is one of the world's leading satellite manufacturers.

As for Schiaparelli, it's Italian-built.

Tata owns all of that, now.

Can you provide us with the figures? You seem like an expert on such matters.

WHAAAAAT!

The Brits crashed ANOTHER Mars Lander!!!!

That's not how this works... that's not how any of this works!

How many Yank craft to Mars have fallen victim to the Mars Curse?

In 1964, NASA’s Mariner 3 was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station. In space, its solar panels failed to open and the batteries went flat. Now it’s orbiting the Sun, dead. In 1965, Russian controllers lost contact with Zond 2 after it lost one of its solar panels. It lifelessly floated past Mars in the August of that year, only 1,500 km away from the planet. In March and April, 1969, the twin probes in the Soviet Mars 1969 program both suffered launch failure, 1969A exploded minutes after launch and 1969B took a U-turn and crashed to earth. More recently, NASA’s Mars Climate Orbiter crashed into the Red Planet in 1999 after an embarrassing measurement unit mix-up caused the satellite to enter the atmosphere too low. On Christmas 2003, the world waited for a signal from the UK Mars lander, Beagle 2, after it separated from ESA’s Mars Express. To this day, there’s been no word.

Looking over the past 48 years of Mars exploration, it makes for sad reading. A failed mission here, a “lost” mission there, with some unknowns thrown in for good measure. It would seem that mankind’s efforts to send robots to Mars have been thwarted by bad luck and strange mysteries. Is there some kind of Red Planet Triangle (much like the Bermuda Triangle), perhaps with its corners pointing to Mars, Phobos and Deimos? Is the Galactic Ghoul really out there devouring billions of dollars-worth of hardware?

The Mars Curse - Universe Today

 

[Curious Cdn]

Britain is one of the world's leasing satellite manufacturers.

As for Schiaparelli, it's Italian-built.



Can you provide us with the figures?

Hee Heee Hee!

£=0

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

Here's an idea, Jack Cade. Next time, why don't y'all tell the press the mission is to deliberately crash a probe into Mars? That way, you can call your inevitable f*ckup a "mission objective successfully completed."

 

[Blackleaf]

Here's an idea, Jack Cade. Next time, why don't y'all tell the press the mission is to deliberately crash a probe into Mars. That way, you can call your inevitable f*ckup a "mission objective successfully completed."

That's a bit rich, considering America has had more embarrassing Mars mission failures than any other country.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

That's a bit rich, considering America has had more embarrassing Mars mission failures than any other country.

America has working probes on Mars. How bout y'all?

 

[Blackleaf]

America has working probes on Mars. How bout y'all?

About half of all missions to Mars have failed, many of them American. You may have some craft working on the planet but that's because you have had many more missions there than the Europeans have.

Talking about crashing a probe into Mars, that's what happened to Nasa's Mars Climate Orbiter in 1999. It should have orbited the planet but crashed right into it.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

About half of all missions to Mars have failed, many of them American. You may have some craft working on the planet but that's because you have had many more missions there than the Europeans have.

Talking about crashing a probe into Mars, that's what happened to Nasa's Mars Climate Orbiter in 1999. It should have orbited the planet but crashed right into it.

Could you give us the number of successful British probes on Mars?

Just a "round" figure, eh, Squire? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Say no more, Squire!

 

[Murphy]

BL just cannot accept that the Brits are failures. The only space Brits explore is the space between their ears.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

BL just cannot accept that the Brits are failures. The only space Brits explore is the space between their ears.

Actually, if he wasn't retarded, he could merge his ghost fantasy with his "Briddin is worth a bucket of warm spit" fantasy and claim that the ghosts of Admiral Lord Nelson and Captain Cook are out there bravely exploring the stars in the ghost of HMS Warspite.

Then again, if he wasn't retarded, he wouldn't need excuses.

 

[Blackleaf]

BL just cannot accept that the Brits are failures.

On the contrary: Britain is the most successful, and greatest, nation on Earth.

As for the Schiaparelli lander, it's Italian.