Bono Wants To ‘Send In’ Comedians To Combat ISIS

[Locutus]

because mental illness

ISIS. It’s a problem. The Obama Administration has spent more time denying the reality of the situation than crafting a viable solution to defeat the savages. We’ve heard it all– “They just need jobs!” “We don’t understaaaaaand their culture!” “They don’t even have anything to do with Islam!” “We can end the violence with love!”

Just when I thought I’ve heard it all, U2’s Bono comes out and drops this doozy.

Bono testified before the Senate Appropriations subcommittee Tuesday and told lawmakers that we need to “send in” comedians like Amy Schumer, Chris Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen to the Middle East. You know, so they can tell jokes in the streets, which will neutralize the bloodshed, because it’s hard to chop off heads while laughing at Amy Schumer’s jokes. Or something.


U2's Bono Tells Congress How To Fight ISIS, And It Involves Amy Schumer


Rock star Bono calls on Congress to take swift action to deal with global refugee crisis and extremism | Daily Mail Online

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

I think U2 should do another impromptu concert in downtown Dimascus. That will surely help.

 

[skookumchuck]

But but........the "progressives" think the sun rises and sets with peeps like Bono and basically anybody who plays music. Kind of like many of my people, if you can grunt and chant while beating a tom tom (an instrument limited to only a few tribes and none on the coast btw) you are special, yeah sure...........
Oh and keep in mind that the "tom tom" was a British description of a childs toy.

 

[Locutus]

hewson is a douchebag of the highest order and the easily swayed and star-struck will follow these retards into the most absurd of times.

 

[Murphy]

I think ISIS might be positively influenced if the Food Network taped "Cutthroat Kitchen" in their area.

I'm not seeing success with stuff like, "Two Imams and a Rabbi walk into a bar..." But hey, it's Bono. He knows best.

 

[Johnnny]

Lead the pack Bono

 

[Remington1]

Well, walk the walk man!! Go first, and if they like you and are laughing so hard they forget to chop off your head, then maybe you can throw around others name that can go to make them laugh some more.

Your buds are too strong.

 

[taxslave]

Lets start with some musicians like Bieber, Dion and all the rappers we can round up. If they don't come back for whatever reason it will be no loss.

 

[Ludlow]

Bonon be the man

 

[Locutus]

Am I really alone among all the writers making fun of Bono this week (see above) to note that, were satire really the industrial-strength stupidity solvent he thinks it is, the U2 singer himself would have been reduced to a small, stubborn carpet stain ages ago?

This 2002 bit about Bono in The Onion, for instance—“Vowing to lobby Congress for African aid on progressively larger Jumbotrons until demands are met”—could have been written yesterday. South Park subjected him to scatological (for me, bile-rising) abuse almost ten years ago, portraying him as a sentient chunk of fecal matter, a turd who’d cracked the Turing test.

There’s no reason any of this stuff—“Rest of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving,” “African leaders advise Bono on reform of U2”—should still be as funny as it is. (I chuckled a lot while writing this column.) But Bono is blue-chip, the Berkshire Hathaway (Class A) of comedy.

mo

Typhoid Bono Testifies - Taki's Magazine

 

[Ludlow]

Am I really alone among all the writers making fun of Bono this week (see above) to note that, were satire really the industrial-strength stupidity solvent he thinks it is, the U2 singer himself would have been reduced to a small, stubborn carpet stain ages ago?

This 2002 bit about Bono in The Onion, for instance—“Vowing to lobby Congress for African aid on progressively larger Jumbotrons until demands are met”—could have been written yesterday. South Park subjected him to scatological (for me, bile-rising) abuse almost ten years ago, portraying him as a sentient chunk of fecal matter, a turd who’d cracked the Turing test.

There’s no reason any of this stuff—“Rest of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving,” “African leaders advise Bono on reform of U2”—should still be as funny as it is. (I chuckled a lot while writing this column.) But Bono is blue-chip, the Berkshire Hathaway (Class A) of comedy.

mo

Typhoid Bono Testifies - Taki's Magazine

I knew it was only a matter of time before you viciously attacked the great humanitarian Bonon. This type of violent insensitivity and verbal violence is why peace and love travel a hard road .

 

[Blackleaf]

Muslims don't have a sense of humour.

 

[Ludlow]

Muslims don't have a sense of humour.

what the hell man. Cat Stevens is a barrel of laughs.

 

[Johnnny]

Muslims don't have a sense of humour.

Nope they don't...


Its like when I told my muslim teacher that he was average. Then he said I was the mean one!!!!! go figure.... LOL get it?

 

[55Mercury]

we do use comedy, but they don't get it, mostly because they're the brunt of all the jokes.

I think we should take our good humour one step further and deploy whole divisions of women, and divisions of gays to go rub izzle's and allah's nose in it.

to further enhance the comedic effect, just this once, just for this war with izzle (izzle's gonna fizzle), suspend the atrocities section of the geneva convention thereby allowing torture and trophy taking from the enemy, scalps, noses, ears, and such, and say, wouldn't it be hilarious if it became all the rage for our hero fags to come back glorious from doing God's Good Works with a nice frizzy izzy nutsack to hang from the rear-view mirrors of their rainbow-plated F-150s?

yep


take no prisoners with that lot

 

[Sons of Liberty]

What an idiot

 

[Blackleaf]

what the hell man. Cat Stevens is a barrel of laughs.

He wasn't born Muslim, though.

 

[grumpydigger]

bono???? more like BOZO

 

[Jinentonix]

Muslims don't have a sense of humour.

What? Hey, some of them are a real blast, man.

Not to mention, I think Bobo has been watching too much Monty Python.

 

[Jinentonix]

I also find it amusing? Interesting? No absolutely ****ing stupid that two of his suggestions are obviously people of Jewish persuasion. Yeah, that 'll go down real good, Jewish comedians attempting to "disarm" ISIS with humour.