Miracle Baby Pees Beer!

His Highness Pisses Lager

LONDON, 1 April 2014 - Buckingham Palace revealed today that His Most Serene High Holy Royal Extra-Special Highness, Prince George Alexander of Twatingham, actually pisses a fine, full-bodied lager, one of many miracles attributed to the Royal Grub.

Crowds of delirious Londoners queued up for a refreshing draught of Prince's Pee, the bottled product of the royal kidneys. One visibly intoxicated Englishman slurred "Cor blimey, we like whatever comes outta Wee Georgie's Wee Willie. Right, then. Down the pub, what?"

Initially nettled by the announcement, the notoriously surly Scots quickly turned jubilant upon hearing that the third-in-line to the Shiny Hat also sh*ts haggis, crucified Salmond, and swore to live in grinding poverty whilst fighting England's wars forever.

When asked for comment, Prince Philip, the Duke of Cesspool and grandfather to the New English Messiah, said "I'm a wheel of cheese!"

Mail Online/we-love-engerland-so-much-we'll-publish-any-tripe/imbecile/microcephalic
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me pee vodka."

The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted.

The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night. The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Russian comes home and tells his wife, "Natasha grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka. "His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.

The Russian begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife asks him, "But Boris, why do we need only one glass?"

Boris raises the glass and says,

"Because tonight, my love, you drink from the bottle."
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