Do It Danish Style


Tecumsehsbones
#1
'Do it for Denmark!’ campaign wants Danes to have more sex. A lot more sex

<LI class="left marR5">By Terrence McCoy March 27

Denmark has a lot of things going for it. Last year, the UN’s World Happiness Report crowned it the globe’s happiest country (external - login to view), citing the nation’s commitment to maternity leave, gender equality, biking, and drinking lots of wine when it’s cold outside.

Its economy is also tops, chugging out $211 billion in annual GDP despite its relatively small population of 5.6 million. Economic inequality? Not a problem. Income distributes more evenly (external - login to view) there than most places.

But Denmark has a sex problem. (Re-evaluating that happiness ranking already?)

Well, it’s not exactly a sex problem, per se. It’s more like a baby problem. According to government statistics, Denmark posted a birth rate of 10 per 1,000 residents in 2013 — its lowest in decades. The nation’s birthrate was 9.9 in 1983.

Denmark’s perennially low birth rate places it with Germany (8.33 (external - login to view)), Japan (8.39) (external - login to view) and Singapore (7.72 (external - login to view)). And the downward trend has left people worried in Denmark. Most couples say they want two or three kids, according to the Copenhagen Post, (external - login to view) but one in five couples wind up childless.

On Wednesday, a bold — and hilarious — campaign emerged in Denmark to reverse the trend. For the salvation of the country, a travel company-organized movement called “Do it for Denmark!” wants Danes to act and act now — without precautions. “Denmark is facing a crisis,” the company, Spies Rejser, says. (external - login to view) ”We are concerned. The fewer Danes means fewer people to support the aging population — but sadly, also fewer Spies travelers.”

But don’t fret, Denmark! There’s a solution.

“Studies show that Danes have 46 percent more sex on [vacation], and because more sex increases the chances for more children, we [call] for a romantic break to save the future of Denmark.”

The Post was unable to independently confirm that Danes have 46 percent more sex on vacation, but the claim that people generally make more whoopi while on vacation does appear plausible, especially if they don’t have kids along. According to a 2004 National Leisure Travel Monitor study, one third of people (external - login to view) reported they had more sex while on vacation, and Psychology Today agrees (external - login to view).
So can vacation sex save the Kingdom of Denmark?

Spies thinks it can, so the company has sweetened the deal. According to its promotion, the company will give prizes to couples who get pregnant while on vacations purchased through them. First, the couple must select a “romantic” city — it recommends Paris and Rome — then “let yourself be seduced by the city pulse.” (external - login to view)

Afterward, upon successful sex, the couple is to shoot off a positive pregnancy test and medical records to the company. Then they may win three years worth of free diapers. (external - login to view)

And just in case Danes are confused by this whole pregnancy thing, the company has offered a helpful how-to. “Use your cycle to identify the most likely time to conceive,” it explains. “Avoid stress. Get a massage. Try yoga. Take advantage of gravity. Lie down for at least 15 minutes after sex.”

“And men,” Spies admonishes, “avoid tight pants. Even if you think it looks good.”

‘Do it for Denmark!’ campaign wants Danes to have more sex. A lot more sex. (external - login to view)

Do It For Denmark - YouTube

 
spaminator
+1
#2  Top Rated Post
so who here is ready to eat a Danish?
 
taxslave
#3
I can help.
 
shadowshiv
+1
#4
Do it for Denmark? Bah! I'll do it because it feels so damned good! Oh yeah!
 
Blackleaf
#5
They have so much sex because there's nothing much else to do in their boring, tedious little country.

In the old days the Danes used to land on the British and Irish coastlines, raping and pillaging and striking terror into the heart of all coastal communities.

Now they just ride bicycles and play with Lego all day long.
 
shadowshiv
+1
#6
Quote: Originally Posted by BlackleafView Post

They have so much sex because there's nothing much else to do in their boring, tedious little country.

In the old days the Danes used to land on the British and Irish coastlines, raping and pillaging and striking terror into the heart of all coastal communities.

Now they just ride bicycles and play with Lego all day long.

And you say it like that's a bad thing! Sounds pretty relaxing to me. They'd probably live a longer, and happier lives like that, than being pillaging, terror-inducing rapists, wouldn't you think?
 
Blackleaf
#7
Quote: Originally Posted by shadowshivView Post

And you say it like that's a bad thing! Sounds pretty relaxing to me. They'd probably live a longer, and happier lives like that, than being pillaging, terror-inducing rapists, wouldn't you think?


The Vikings enjoyed raping and pillaging. They (the men) were warriors, after all. It brought Viking men honour and respect back home, not to mention all the riches that they nicked from coastal monasteries like Lindisfarne and Iona.

Nowadays, though, Denmark is just one more Western country that's become feminised, wishy-washy and liberal. It's gone from being a manly, macho, warrior nation into a nation of obsessed with Lego and bicycles.

In fact, its uber-liberalness is what it has in common with the other Scandinavian countries. A country which once struck fear into the hearts of Western Europeans is now a country in which everyone rides bicycles and in which sex with animals is perfectly legal.

That's the 21st Century for you, though.
 
EagleSmack
+1
#8
Yup... the Danes are just one in a long line of conquerors to dominate the English Isles. They did more than just nick coastal towns.
 
Twila
+1
#9
Quote: Originally Posted by BlackleafView Post

The Vikings enjoyed raping and pillaging. They (the men) were warriors, after all. It brought Viking men honour and respect back home, not to mention all the riches that they nicked from coastal monasteries like Lindisfarne and Iona.

Nowadays, though, Denmark is just one more Western country that's become feminised, wishy-washy and liberal. It's gone from being a manly, macho, warrior nation into a nation of obsessed with Lego and bicycles.

In fact, its uber-liberalness is what it has in common with the other Scandinavian countries. A country which once struck fear into the hearts of Western Europeans is now a country in which everyone rides bicycles and in which sex with animals is perfectly legal.

That's the 21st Century for you, though.

How's about a campaign to encourage the Danes, the Norwegians and the Swedes to get back in their longboats, head out to sea and ransack, rape, pillage, and take over coastal England and Ireland? Maybe even some of the outlying Scottish Islands?

I think if we marketed it right, they'd go for it. They must be bored of living well and being content and happy by now. The English would have some other foreigners to complain about. Variety IS the spice of life.
 

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