Your 15 year old daughter commits suicide- You question - Why

Goober

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Your 15 year old daughter commits suicide- You question - Why - Do you blame yourself for not being there- not seeing the so called warning signs that are supposed to be evident. You put yourself thru hell. This family went thru hell and are still going thru hell
Then you find out why - 8 months later when many knew why- You also find out how her friends turned on her and drove her to suicide.


May those that committed this, the friends that turned on her, the ones that covered it up I do hope that somehow life brings its revenge to you. Not someone you love but to you in some way.

Arrests made in sexual battery of Audrie Pott, who later hanged herself | World | News | National Post

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Eight days after being sexually assaulted by friends while passed out at a party, and then humiliated by online photos, 15-year-old Audrie Pott posted on Facebook that her life was ruined, “worst day ever,” and hanged herself, the family’s lawyer said.

For the next eight months, her family struggled to figure out what happened to their soccer-loving, artistic, horse-crazy daughter, whose gentle smile, long dark hair and shining eyes belied a struggling soul.

And then on Thursday, a California sheriff’s office arrested three 16-year-old boys on suspicion of sexual battery. The arrests “reopened a wound” for family members of Pott, and they have gone into seclusion, family attorney Robert Allard said.

“The family has been trying to understand why their loving daughter would have taken her life at such a young age and to make sure that those responsible would be held accountable,” Allard said.

Allard did not provide additional details about how she was assaulted but he said she had fallen asleep after drinking at a sleepover.

Family members of the girl said on Friday they suspect the attackers tried to destroy evidence. The family claim was posted on a Facebook page for a foundation set up in her name. It did not provide further details, and the Santa Clara County sheriff’s office did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Santa Clara County sheriff’s Lt. Jose Cardoza said the suspects were booked into juvenile hall and face two felonies and one misdemeanour each. Their names were not released because they are minors. Details about the assault were also not released.

Cardoza said the investigation is ongoing
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bobnoorduyn

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Nov 26, 2008
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Tragic. Parents don't see the warning signs because children don't come with operator's manuals. They also have to make a living, and in many cases both parents work, and in far too may cases there is only one parent. Having suffered though two daughters' teenage years I can attest to never knowing what warning signs to look for. Fortunately we were, and are still a two parent family. My wife was a stay at home mom and I was on medical leave, so we were both home full time, and it was tough still. Kids are very good at hiding the emotions they don't want you to see. We went as far as taking the doors off their bedrooms so they couldn't be totaly secluded. That backfired when one went to the bathroom, snuck out and ran away, Their neocortexes are not developed and cannot connect cause and effect, which is why minors, depending on jurisdiction between 17 - 19, cannot be licenced to sign contracts. They can however be licenced to drive, join the armed forces, own firearms, etc.,go figure. Being minors, I dont think they should be allowed unsupervised internet access; camera phones and texting functions should be disabled, and the only cell phone numbers enabled shoulod be ones the parents allow.

Parenting is a 24 hour job, and it is tough with teens, and too many parents only do it part time.

Miscreants also have to stop being mollycoddled. The US system is far too harsh, but ours is far too weak. But there still has to be some accountability, I just don't know what.
 

Goober

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Jan 23, 2009
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It's scary what a common story this is becoming.

It is- Married couple, teen doing well commits suicide- self blame, the possible accusations back and forth at each pother- coming from grief, the why, what did I miss- the pain. Theyb went thru hell and are still going thru it.
May these ffrs do adult time.
And the friends who emailed, texted etc, make their name public. I have no ffn sympathy for them. Live with their decisions.
 

gerryh

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Nov 21, 2004
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yup.... it's a bitch...... and really..... the parents should have been paying closer attention to who their friends were....where they were going..... who would be there to have each of their backs...... basic shyte..... shyte that I and my wife make sure of every fu cking day.
 

karrie

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yup.... it's a bitch...... and really..... the parents should have been paying closer attention to who their friends were....where they were going..... who would be there to have each of their backs...... basic shyte..... shyte that I and my wife make sure of every fu cking day.

It goes beyond what HER parents should have done. My kids know (and yes, this sparked renewed discussion), that they should come to me if they're worried for a friend too. My responsibility doesn't end with my kids, their friends may need help too. The parents of the kids who bullied, or ignored the bullying, surrounding this incident, all need to evaluate their parenting.

When a breakdown this large occurs, the whole community needs to take a look at what they need to fix.
 

gerryh

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Nov 21, 2004
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It goes beyond what HER parents should have done. My kids know (and yes, this sparked renewed discussion), that they should come to me if they're worried for a friend too. My responsibility doesn't end with my kids, their friends may need help too. The parents of the kids who bullied, or ignored the bullying, surrounding this incident, all need to evaluate their parenting.

When a breakdown this large occurs, the whole community needs to take a look at what they need to fix.



agreed. I just can't wrap my head around how ANY parent could have allowed this to happen or did NOT teach their kids that this was wrong.
 

karrie

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Jan 6, 2007
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agreed. I just can't wrap my head around how ANY parent could have allowed this to happen or did NOT teach their kids that this was wrong.
I can't even wrap my head around where the breakdown occurs, because I really honestly would never think to tell my kids 'don't encourage rape'. I don't know a single parent who would. How do you get the nuances of these moral issues across? No one had to tell me this stuff. And if it doesn't get across to your kids, what was the breakdown? I walk away from these news reports always more and more perplexed.
 

Sal

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I can't even wrap my head around where the breakdown occurs, because I really honestly would never think to tell my kids 'don't encourage rape'. I don't know a single parent who would. How do you get the nuances of these moral issues across? No one had to tell me this stuff. And if it doesn't get across to your kids, what was the breakdown? I walk away from these news reports always more and more perplexed.
I think this happens when there is a disconnect. When people feel connected with each other they have the ability to (empathize). They don't wish to lash out and hurt they wish to connect and understand. As soon as someone cannot empathize with another it's like permission to torture. I don't think you can impart nuances. Someone is either able to delve down (depth of character) or things are black and white (shallow).

What is making these kids view the world as black and white? Us/them? They are disconnected somewhere.
 

Cliffy

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I think this happens when there is a disconnect. When people feel connected with each other they have the ability to (empathize). They don't wish to lash out and hurt they wish to connect and understand. As soon as someone cannot empathize with another it's like permission to torture. I don't think you can impart nuances. Someone is either able to delve down (depth of character) or things are black and white (shallow).

What is making these kids view the world as black and white? Us/them? They are disconnected somewhere.
We have a culture that would rather text each other than talk to each other face to face, even when they are in the same room. It used to blow my mind when I was running the local computer access center when a bunch of girls (and some boys) would come in after school and sit there texting each other when they were sitting side by side. Or they would walk on either side of the road and cell phone each other. Now its Facebook. Reality has become virtual - pretty disconnected, I'd say.
 

Sal

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We have a culture that would rather text each other than talk to each other face to face, even when they are in the same room. It used to blow my mind when I was running the local computer access center when a bunch of girls (and some boys) would come in after school and sit there texting each other when they were sitting side by side. Or they would walk on either side of the road and cell phone each other. Now its Facebook. Reality has become virtual - pretty disconnected, I'd say.
I was going to venture there and then didn't. I think texting is a contributing factor to the distance. I don't think it "has" to be because as a form of communication, it is extremely valuable. Same with Facebook. Facebook has allowed me to connect with people on the other side of the world that I would not have met had I not had them as a "game neighbour". I have stayed in touch with these people long after I have quit the games. So the medium is not the problem. It is how we use it.

I think what we are missing is perhaps teaching youth the correct way to use texting and social media. It can distance us because we do not view the other person as human. Or it can connect us. They need to learn social media manners. I am not certain how one goes about that but I know there are studies happening they just can't keep up with the speed at which the medium evolves.

It's that distance thing again. Not good.

_________________________________________________________________

I don't know if this will post here or not. One man has made a huge difference with suicides and it began with a tragedy.

I have taken the course he speaks of. I think everyone should take it. It is just one weekend out of your life that could save another's whole world.

Segment: PostSecret
 

Goober

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yup.... it's a bitch...... and really..... the parents should have been paying closer attention to who their friends were....where they were going..... who would be there to have each of their backs...... basic shyte..... shyte that I and my wife make sure of every fu cking day.

Some parents have an excellent relationship with their kids- but if they do not want you to now something, probability is significant that you will not know. At times they will wait until having reached adulthood and tell you what happened.

As to friends - Once kids go out the door you have no idea at times of who is with them. Unless they are on a tight leash.

Some may assign blame to the parents, I do not know how they can arrive at that conclusion based upon the information available. Which is sparse to say the least.
 

gerryh

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Nov 21, 2004
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Some parents have an excellent relationship with their kids- but if they do not want you to now something, probability is significant that you will not know. At times they will wait until having reached adulthood and tell you what happened.


riiiiiiiiight..... :roll:

As to friends - Once kids go out the door you have no idea at times of who is with them. Unless they are on a tight leash.

of course, how stupid of me. :roll:


Some may assign blame to the parents, I do not know how they can arrive at that conclusion based upon the information available. Which is sparse to say the least.

of course, you're right. Parents should shoulder none of the blame at all.



:roll::roll::roll:
 

Goober

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Jan 23, 2009
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riiiiiiiiight..... :roll:



of course, how stupid of me. :roll:




of course, you're right. Parents should shoulder none of the blame at all.



:roll::roll::roll:
It appeared you laid all blame at the feet of the parents.
 

petros

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Nov 21, 2008
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If you can't tell by the age of 2 when your kids is lieing, you've shown them your weaknesses and left yourself in the dark.
 

Goober

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riiiiiiiiight..... :roll:



of course, how stupid of me. :roll:




of course, you're right. Parents should shoulder none of the blame at all.



:roll::roll::roll:

Well Gerry as you have all the answers then rebut with something aside from rolling eyes.
 

bobnoorduyn

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Nov 26, 2008
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If you can't tell by the age of 2 when your kids is lieing, you've shown them your weaknesses and left yourself in the dark.

That's a mug's game, there are two indicators; their lips are moving and they are exhaling, with either voiced or unvoiced syllables, (unvoiced is usally the better indicator). Its the same way Judge Judy identifies a teenage liar.