A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.
He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.
A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.
"But it's not for me to question his story."
She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.
Read more: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum | Metro.co.uk (external - login to view)
'It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one.'
I think it would be apt at this point to make a distinction between potato wedges and potato wedgies.
And of course, poo-tine (with turds n' gravy) now has a whole new meaning, too.
sh!t, anyone hungry?