As scientists announce that they have discovered the homes of the people who probably built Stonehenge.......
Fancy a Pterodactyl Twizzler, anyone?
2nd February 2007
Daily Mail
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN
Scientists have uncovered what they believe to be the remains of an ancient settlement which housed the workers who built Stonehenge.
Parchment prints of semi-naked women have been found, along with flagons which are thought to have contained a prehistoric version of real ale, made from mud and twigs - rather like its modern equivalent.
Anthropologists believe that after a hard day's leaning on a shovel, the labourers would repair to a 24-hour pub for some serious bingedrinking before moving on to a supercasino, where they would blow their entire week's wages, worth almost 10p at today's prices.
Primitive roulette wheels and fruit machines fashioned from stone have been unearthed, together with discarded remnants of tickets marked 'National Lottery'.
In the centre of the settlement there was a large cage, capable of accommodating up to a dozen 'housemates'.
The workers would gather round each evening to observe these people abusing each other and performing mundane tasks such as grooming and pretending to be a cat.
Once a week, one of the 'housemates' would be dragged from the cage and slaughtered as a human sacrifice.
Graffiti reading 'Jade Woz 'Ere' and 'Shilpa is a Slag' was found chiselled into rocks buried beneath what carbon-dating indicates may have been pizza boxes.
From the extensive use of forensic testing, researchers believe that the workers existed mainly on a diet of 'Pterodactyl Twizzlers'.
Although there is evidence that some ancient Britons worked on Stonehenge, most were too idle for manual labour.
It would appear that specialist skills such as the laying of a bitumen-based form of road surfacing were contracted out to men who travelled over from the south of Ireland.
A number of stone wheels found at the site are believed to have come from their caravans, along with horseshoes, several lawnmowers, pieces of scrap metal, mattresses, stone vessels containing something resembling red diesel and what appears to be a satellite dish made from granite.
DNA testing has also placed the origins of the majority of the inhabitants of the settlement from as far afield as Eastern Europe, North Africa and Afghanistan.
This mirrors the recent findings at a similar encampment in ancient Gaul at a location we know today as Sangatte.
Archaeologists also say they believe they have solved the centuries-old mystery of why Stonehenge was left unfinished.
Work was abandoned after health and safety inspectors ruled it was too dangerous to continue, fearing that the stones might topple over and hurt someone.
dailymail.co.uk
Fancy a Pterodactyl Twizzler, anyone?
2nd February 2007
Daily Mail
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN
Scientists have uncovered what they believe to be the remains of an ancient settlement which housed the workers who built Stonehenge.
Parchment prints of semi-naked women have been found, along with flagons which are thought to have contained a prehistoric version of real ale, made from mud and twigs - rather like its modern equivalent.
Anthropologists believe that after a hard day's leaning on a shovel, the labourers would repair to a 24-hour pub for some serious bingedrinking before moving on to a supercasino, where they would blow their entire week's wages, worth almost 10p at today's prices.
Primitive roulette wheels and fruit machines fashioned from stone have been unearthed, together with discarded remnants of tickets marked 'National Lottery'.
In the centre of the settlement there was a large cage, capable of accommodating up to a dozen 'housemates'.
The workers would gather round each evening to observe these people abusing each other and performing mundane tasks such as grooming and pretending to be a cat.
Once a week, one of the 'housemates' would be dragged from the cage and slaughtered as a human sacrifice.
Graffiti reading 'Jade Woz 'Ere' and 'Shilpa is a Slag' was found chiselled into rocks buried beneath what carbon-dating indicates may have been pizza boxes.
From the extensive use of forensic testing, researchers believe that the workers existed mainly on a diet of 'Pterodactyl Twizzlers'.
Although there is evidence that some ancient Britons worked on Stonehenge, most were too idle for manual labour.
It would appear that specialist skills such as the laying of a bitumen-based form of road surfacing were contracted out to men who travelled over from the south of Ireland.
A number of stone wheels found at the site are believed to have come from their caravans, along with horseshoes, several lawnmowers, pieces of scrap metal, mattresses, stone vessels containing something resembling red diesel and what appears to be a satellite dish made from granite.
DNA testing has also placed the origins of the majority of the inhabitants of the settlement from as far afield as Eastern Europe, North Africa and Afghanistan.
This mirrors the recent findings at a similar encampment in ancient Gaul at a location we know today as Sangatte.
Archaeologists also say they believe they have solved the centuries-old mystery of why Stonehenge was left unfinished.
Work was abandoned after health and safety inspectors ruled it was too dangerous to continue, fearing that the stones might topple over and hurt someone.
dailymail.co.uk
