Need help growing a beard.

BigLou

Electoral Member
Aug 13, 2008
149
1
18
Vancouver, B.C.
I'm only in gr. 9 and I need some help to grow a small beard, just for the novelty of having one. I'm trying to be the first person in my class to get a beard. Right now I've got a few hairs on my chin, about 3/4 of an inch of hair on my sideburns, 1/4 inch hairs on my upper lip, and 3 hairs on my jawline. Is there anyway I could get hair all along my jaw line and all around my mouth in like a month tops?
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
18,326
119
63
The only treatment is the application of time. Probably about five years of it. I've known young men who couldn't grow a beard or moustache when they were well over 21 years old. It's all in the genes.
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
149
63
Shave everyday whether you need to or not. Splash aftershave on until you're screaming in pain. Then make a face in mirror similar to one of a constipated 50-year old who ate too much cheese. Rinse and repeat for two or three years.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
18,326
119
63
There are lots of people around who would be very happy if the hair on their heads grew with as much enthusiasm as the hair on their chins..........:roll::smile:
 

Scott Free

House Member
May 9, 2007
3,893
46
48
BC
It's a testosterone thing. First check that your balls have dropped. Double check with your parents you weren't born an hermaphrodite. If all that checks out then follow what kreskin says. Some people can't grow a beard until their 30's so it might take a while.
 

Nuggler

kind and gentle
Feb 27, 2006
11,596
140
63
Backwater, Ontario.
It's a testosterone thing. First check that your balls have dropped. Double check with your parents you weren't born an hermaphrodite. If all that checks out then follow what kreskin says. Some people can't grow a beard until their 30's so it might take a while.


8O 8O :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Gotta clean the coffee offn the keyboard!!!

Big Loo, Don't sweat it!! It'll come. And when it does, (the beard, that is), you'll be kicking your ass for wanting it.

If you have a job where you have to shave every day; remember, that's EVERY DAY. You'll regret the whiskers. Ya know all them commercials about the "gentle" after shave what don't burn......................BULLS H I T !!!!
They ALL burn, and when you sweat, it stings and itches like hell. Put on bug repellant when ya go fishin, and it stings and burns like hell too.

QUIT IT..................Or as Bob Newhart would say.........JUST STOP IT !!

I grew a beard about 20 years ago and ain't shaved since. Just around the neck a bit, so I don't look any more like a chimp than I has to. And I put that off till about 3-4 days.

TRUST ME, LOU; JUST STOP IT !!

(uncle Nuggs advice to the beardless):read2:
 

Unforgiven

Force majeure
May 28, 2007
6,770
137
63
What's a nice boy like you want with a dirty beard? Those nasty Taliban buggers all have beards and look what it's done for them. Nothing! Get a shave and a hair cut and keep it clean each day. That's the way to show your school yard chums that man that you've become. ;-)
 

TenPenny

Hall of Fame Member
Jun 9, 2004
17,466
138
63
Location, Location
I'm only in gr. 9 and I need some help to grow a small beard, just for the novelty of having one. I'm trying to be the first person in my class to get a beard. Right now I've got a few hairs on my chin, about 3/4 of an inch of hair on my sideburns, 1/4 inch hairs on my upper lip, and 3 hairs on my jawline. Is there anyway I could get hair all along my jaw line and all around my mouth in like a month tops?

There's a simple way to grow a beard.Do not shave.andWait.
 

lone wolf

Grossly Underrated
Nov 25, 2006
32,493
210
63
In the bush near Sudbury
Smear cream on your face and let the cat lick it off....

Good gawrsh.... I barely remember Grade Nine facial folliage (and the guys who darkened their fine strands with black marker) When they're as coarse as pubes and girls are saying it's prickly - and every time you go school with a toilet papered bloodspot on your cheek - you'll wish for these whispy whiskered just-after-grade-school days....
 
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BigLou

Electoral Member
Aug 13, 2008
149
1
18
Vancouver, B.C.
Well...thanks for the input guys. I hear that almond oil is supposed to help beards grow but I dont know where to buy it. And yeah I want a beard, It'll make me look more masculin than the other guys, and I'd love stroking my beard when thinking because it would make me look smart.
 

Canaduh

Derailing Threads
Mar 7, 2008
304
2
18
Southwest WA
Shave everyday whether you need to or not. Splash aftershave on until you're screaming in pain. Then make a face in mirror similar to one of a constipated 50-year old who ate too much cheese. Rinse and repeat for two or three years.

Its been proven shaving does not speed up the growth or thickness of hair.

And yeah I want a beard, It'll make me look more masculin than the other guys, and I'd love stroking my beard when thinking because it would make me look smart.

A 14 year olds bum fluff =/= a beard.
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
7,267
118
63
45
Newfoundland!
I couldnt grow anything like a beard till i was well into my 20s. When i realised it was possible i grew a tiny beard on the tip of my chin which i maintain with great pride and I always try to let it grow as long as it can. My ideal beard is that of the kung-fu master in "kill bill". So far it's about 3 inches long
 

shadowshiv

Dark Overlord
May 29, 2007
17,545
120
63
50
I'm only in gr. 9 and I need some help to grow a small beard, just for the novelty of having one. I'm trying to be the first person in my class to get a beard. Right now I've got a few hairs on my chin, about 3/4 of an inch of hair on my sideburns, 1/4 inch hairs on my upper lip, and 3 hairs on my jawline. Is there anyway I could get hair all along my jaw line and all around my mouth in like a month tops?

Whatever you do, do NOT follow in Cartman's footsteps. That would be bad. Very bad.;-):lol::p