How far are you willing to go?

[CDNBear]

As I read around the boards, I see all sorts of 'sensitive' people patting themselves on the back for being all open, honest, loving, caring, yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah!

Then it dawned on me, some of them are the most cruel, judgmental and lowest people I've ever had the misfortune to come across on the net. Nothing seems to low to these people. Not posting private material, not sharing personal conversations, not attacking peoples faiths, not trying to blackmail people, not even trying to cause havoc in peoples real lives, is to low for these people.

Yet they perpetually think and state how they are above the tom foolery, the pettiness and the mean spiritedness of some others.

Simply astounding. They even refuse to apologise for these ignorant deeds. Which can only be because they don't think that they erred.

Which can only lead one to believe that they are not the people they portray themselves as.



So, how far are you willing to go to get even?

 

[Sal]

Simply astounding. They even refuse to apologise for these ignorant deeds. Which can only be because they don't think that they erred.

Which can only lead one to believe that they are not the people they portray themselves as.



So, how far are you willing to go to get even?

And therein lies the problem of the internet. The big wrinkle is who are people......really. Are they what they say, or is there an image all prettied up and pushed out there. One that begins to melt upon examination...and if you trust what they say, then whose fault is the hurt?

And then the big question, does it really matter?

I don't have an answer for that one yet.

 

[CDNBear]

The fault lies on the one that allows themselves to become the victim IMHO.

Be very careful in what you allow to be full knowledge to others, about yourself.

And to answer your question, it really begins to matter, when it crosses over from the net to the r/w. In the form of emailing ones family, after searching someones real name. Or even calling someones business contacts, clients, friends family members or spouses, in the full knowledge of the outcome and in the attempt to cause strife and damage.

Yes Sal, these things do happen. Believe it or not.

 

[Sal]

The fault lies on the one that allows themselves to become the victim IMHO.

Be very careful in what you allow to be full knowledge to others, about yourself.

And to answer your question, it really begins to matter, when it crosses over from the net to the r/w. In the form of emailing ones family, after searching someones real name. Or even calling someones business contacts, clients, friends family members or spouses, in the full knowledge of the outcome and in the attempt to cause strife and damage.

Yes Sal, these things do happen. Believe it or not.

Holy crap........well yeah, okay then it does begin to more than matter.

Ya know it's funny, this post is a really good warning to me and so I am going to take it as such. I believe the universe does speak to us in a whisper. If we don't listen it gets louder. If we still don't listen, we get slammed across the head and it just escalates from there until we listen, hear and adjust our behaviour.

I used to be net paranoid. People teased me about it. Lately I have begun to relax that probably because although over the years I have been nipped here and there, I have never been truly bitten. Not in anyway that you speak of.

But I am going to really think about what you have written here Bear. Thanks.

 

[CDNBear]

No need for thanx Sal,

It was way back at a board far far away and now defunct, that I was mauled. I had pissed off the wrong guy (Over some topic involving sexuality of all silly things)shortly after I had started up my on business. Being proud and in need of work, I was quite open with its name and such.

He felt it was appropriate to call one of the sites I was working at and inform them I was stealing, lol...short story, it cost me 2 grand and even though the police were informed by me when the accusation was proven false, he was never charged with anything.

Then there's the petty **** that's happened over the years.

It will be a cold day in hell before I open up more to anyone on line again.

 

[Sal]

No need for thanx Sal,

Yeah, there's need. Not for you perhaps and not for any place I have been or info I have shared so far. BUT perhaps I just need to examine my own "out there" potential is all.

It was way back at a board far far away and now defunct, that I was mauled. I had pissed off the wrong guy (Over some topic involving sexuality of all silly things)shortly after I had started up my on business. Being proud and in need of work, I was quite open with its name and such.

He felt it was appropriate to call one of the sites I was working at and inform them I was stealing, lol...short story, it cost me 2 grand and even though the police were informed by me when the accusation was proven false, he was never charged with anything.

Then there's the petty **** that's happened over the years.

It will be a cold day in hell before I open up more to anyone on line again.

Wow that is some bad stuff though. That is over the top, when worlds collide like that.

There was another board I posted at for a very short time. Anyway it was a little on the wild side in there. I was a voyeur, learnt a lot but I digress.....

There was a back area to the board. Adults only. The board was divided in half between two warring factions. There were a lot of fights and they got bloody. Psychological warfare.

Anyway, one women in one group crossed someone badly I guess. Or they thought she had. They tracked her, found out where she worked and informed her employer that she was in this site during work hours. It would likely be considered an X-site for work.

She got fired. I was stunned and had totally forgotten about it until your post.

Just a good reminder is all.

 

[MikeyDB]

Bear

When anyone takes the time and expends the effort to take some percieved grievance out of the "virtual world" of discussion forums and turn it into a real program of eliciting hatred and promulgating even potential harm upon another person... You're dealing with a fragile ego that has only the lightest of grasp on reality.

We talk about issues that are important enough to us in an "intellectual sense" to debate or argue about, and we sometimes push the envelope of courtesy and respect...I'm as guilty of that as anyone...

However these are when all is said and done, merely "thoughts" and when the thought police come knocking on my door, I'll have my defense ready. We have all been warned that identity theft is a reality and that our personal information is available to the potential bad-guy from sources we've also been assured about in terms of their effort to keep this information confidential.... Credit card slips and election information shows up in garbage dumps and we all roll our eyes and begin to realize that even these morons at the banks credit-card companies and lending institutions aren't protecting anyone.

Despite what you may think about some of the ascerbic rhetoric I often contribute to these threads, in the final analysis, I'm just a regular guy who harbors no interest of any kind in harming anyone. That's not the case with some others of course and its like any time a general notion or a widely accepted concept is torpedoed by the petty little minds of the emotionally or psychologically disturbed. It ruins the whole thing for everyone...

I feel badly for you but in the final analysis, no one has a gun to your head to participate here in Cyber Asylum.... and if you're being made a target (or your family and business or friends) you can... push the issue through our weak-kneed and weak-assed "police" or you can elect not to participate or you can elect to be far more conscious of the material you contribute that my lead to problems down the road.

I've sometimes thought I'd like to get that hacker who wrote that virus or that arsehole who stole my bank statement alone for twenty seconds on the pistol range...but then I realize that by internalizing this behavior and permitting it to become rage and anger...whether the person responsible for my feelings knows it or not...they have to some small degree won. They have managed to take some of my humanity away from me by permitting myself to become their victim. it's a tough balance sometimes and yes although no one ever said that life would be fair.... Wouldn't it be nice if life was fair to people who were and are fair and the nonsense of others was limited to those who practice this nonsense!

 

[lone wolf]

Geez Bear.... Some of us get Internet stalkers. Some of those stalkers are just control freaks who don't take disagreement well. When they cross the line and start messing with family and commerce, that's terrorism - or really whacked! Wonder if I Love Lucy has the same effect on your wingnut?

Woof

 

[karrie]

So, how far are you willing to go to get even?

I'm not willing to lift so much as a finger to 'get even' anymore Bear. Ultimately, I can't control the way others behave. I can only control the way I choose to react to their behavior. I can choose to not let them get under my skin, to not let them change me, make me bow to their tactics, make me less of a person by trying to vent my frustration about them. I don't always succeed, but darn it I try.

 

[lone wolf]

.... oh yeah! Question was how far am I willing to go to get even. Nobody's hit IGNORE (simply because QUOTE makes the feature useless) but a couple have got signed red reps. Hell.... It's a computer. I call it bad names too....

Woof!

 

[Praxius]

The fault lies on the one that allows themselves to become the victim IMHO.

Be very careful in what you allow to be full knowledge to others, about yourself.

And to answer your question, it really begins to matter, when it crosses over from the net to the r/w. In the form of emailing ones family, after searching someones real name. Or even calling someones business contacts, clients, friends family members or spouses, in the full knowledge of the outcome and in the attempt to cause strife and damage.

Yes Sal, these things do happen. Believe it or not.

Sounds like internet stalking and those paticular people require banishment. If someone's got that little of a life that they have to dig around the internet to get personally who you really are to bitch you out to your friends and family, then they're a loser.

It's not like I made who I really am all that secret on the internet. If someone was so inclined to find out who I am, they'll find that information. I'm not scared nor embarassed about what I say or who I am, nor do I give a rats ass if my friends and family hear what I have to say on the internet.... they're already fully aware of my positions and if they're not, I guess they soon will be.

Of course that doesn't mean that I'll just sit back and let some snot nosed punk just continue to try and interfere in my life. What goes around comes around and their identity will be quickly found and then they can deal with the police and their ISP. I mean, I could be petty and try and screw around with their friends and family and the place in which they work, but then where does it end? Might as well go all out and straight to the end of the issue.... if they're going to think they're ratting me out to people I know, then I'll rat them out to the cops and they can face legal charges/fines, lose their internet provider and perhaps their own jobs at that (If those actions were found to have occured on a break time at work, or even during work) I don't have time for petty high school BS.

That's why I don't play the game, and that is why I would expect people have enough brains to not play that game either. Is your petty interfering ways for your own entertainment worth the above?

 

[Unforgiven]

De Ja vu

It depends on the community I guess. Some places you can let it all hang out and be yourself without someone draggin all those little imperfections up to beat on you with, others are a place specifically for digging up the slightest imperfection and beating someone to death with it. If that brings out the worst in people, what's the problem?

While I can understand how the former can be pretty mushy and lacking in manly froth, the later can only bear bitter fruit at best. There is a line between a kick in the ass to get someone going and beating a dead horse.

 

[talloola]

I'm getting scared, I think I will go back into my cacoon. I've never talked to anyone before, in my life, like I do on this board, now I'm a yappy doo.

 

[gerryh]

I'd comment.... but it has come to my attention that one of my "buddies":roll: has managed to find me here and is "monitoring" my posts.

 

[karrie]

I'd comment.... but it has come to my attention that one of my "buddies":roll: has managed to find me here and is "monitoring" my posts.

PM me wouldja

 

[Zzarchov]

The point isn't that these people have problems (they do) its that they can make problems for you.

I view the Internet in the same way as the real world, because alot of people don't realise it is the same. It is a discussion forum, it isn't really any different than going to say,

Idea City and talking to people in the exact same manner. Sure you're just an anonymous person in a large crowd in a strange city where no one even knows your name, but that doesn't mean no one there is capable of causing you damage to your life when you return home.

There are bad people in this world, and they can be dangerous to your life regardless of how you communicate to them.

The concept of "real world/virtual world" is a big problem, people assume there is a difference. The "virtual world" is just a device that lets you communicate with others, its still part of the "real world" in the same way as telephones, mail and public meetings.